Family Reunion...updated

Updated on January 13, 2012
J.L. asks from Hoffman Estates, IL
13 answers

We are hosting the family reunion again this year. Got confirmation through FB that this niece and her family are coming for sure this year. They didn't last year so no need to address accomodations at that time. Good Ol' FB..a family page was posted by another family memeber for Christmas this year so everyone coudl put their thoughts out there for the holidays. The niece posted We miss all of you and can't wait to see you this summer. We are coming for sure. See you all then...Love and hugs etc...

Ok, I already had a discussion with my DH about this last week reiterating that we are not going to have guests stay with us and have a total of 7 (3 of them ours) kids under the age of 10 in our home for 8 or 9 days. He agreed but that's all we discussed. Do you think its too early for me to put the following out there in an email to them:

Hi Jane & Joe,

We hope you are doing well. I saw your post on the family web page regarding the family reunion this summer. We wanted to let you know how exciting it will be to see you this summer and finally be able to meet your youngest.

I don’t know what your travel arrangements will be regarding this summer but as we know July will be here before you know it. I don’t think it hurts to look and plan ahead of time..but just wanted to give you a heads up and see if we could be of assistance and

provide a list of hotels in or near our area depending on what you have planned for your trip.

So and So will be updating the family directory and we should all receive a new copy with emails and phone numbers this weekend. If you had some other travel arrangements in mind and were planning on staying with another family member please feel free to call them directly.

We look forward to seeing you :)

Lucky

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of your repsonses. I weighed heavily on the decision to wait or move ahead.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I would. post something to the family page addressing everyone. I would not offer assistance, that will definitely bring requests to stay at you house. I would price some close hotels, block of rooms,etc. then post something like...

For those planning on attending the summer reunion on Xxx, we will not be able to host overnight guests. Here is a list of nearby hotels and prices. If everyone books at the same place we may get a better rate overall. Thanks for understanding. We can't wait to see everyone!

3 moms found this helpful

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

hmmm, honest answer: I would wait until asked. Seems a little rude or off-putting the other way. :)

Another option would be to compile a list of motel options & sent it to ALL family members.

EDIT: read your SWH....awful defensive! Here's an analogy for your "presumed & assumed" situation: you're wanting the rabies shot before the dog bites! :) My vote is still for a list of options sent to ALL family members. Peace.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I would do just what you said!

4 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I think that you would be stirring up trouble by addressing the issue now. There are several months before the reunion. They may not even be able to come.

You could make a comment on Facebook about how you're not hosting anyone in your home and for anyone who wants to plan ahead you will give them a list of places they could stay. Make it about everyone. Do NOT single out this one family. That would be rude. That would be you making an assumption and it would sound like you don't want this family to come.

After your SWH Wait until there is a Facebook page or until you're sending the invitations. Make staying elsewhere a general announcement to everyone.

4 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I don't think you should email them specifically about their accomodations. I think on the family page you can post something to the effect of:

"We are so happy to be hosting the family reunion this year. Summer will be here before you know it so don't forget to plan ahead. If you would like our help in finding a hotel, please let us know as we would be pleased to compile a list of ones that are local".

That puts it out there for everyone and doesn't single them out.

You should also post something like "So excited that Jane and Joe will be attending this year!"

***I just read your SWH and while depending on the wording, there should be nothing wrong with it I must say I am puzzled by your remark "Their bold assumptions were met with my bold response" because from what you said they only posted that they missed everyone and would definately be coming. Doesn't seem too bold to me.

3 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

OR, you could put it out there that "our house will be full, hopefully everyone is thinking ahead about sleeping arrangements.." or something to that affect.
Let them figure it out...

3 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

i agree with putting a general list of hotels on facebook or the invite, directing it to them seems harsh

2 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I think you have a good idea there. I might even word it a little more bluntly and say that the _______ Hotel (add your last name) wasn't going to be open for business.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would post to the family page and do an attachment of the local phone book to shoe all the hotels and motels, prices, amenities, etc....like a little travel agent might do. If anyone calls you on it just say that you are not going to hurt anyone's feeling by letting one stay and not the others.

Although I would love the company I know there are those who don't like it and would not find it wonderful fun to spend a few days with family.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

I would wait until asked as putting it out there is putting yourself in a potential issue with the whole family. The only way to politely put off anyone from calling on you is to call and area hotel and talk to the marketing manager and see if the will give a family reunion discount if you post only them to the family facebook page and then word it like " I. Spoke with our local hotel__________ and they have kindly agreed to give a discount to anyone coming in that needs accommodations. I am almost thinking of staying there as our house is so chaotic". Then give the info include the number address of hotel, directions to get to the reunion functions. If she still calls and asks just state that your unable to host at this time. Short and sweet as the more you put into it the more she will feel unwanted.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Are you having many out of town guests that need a place to stay? My first thought was to book a block of rooms at the closest, reasonably priced hotel. If you talk to the manager you can often negotiate a reduced rate. That way all out of town guests will be at the same hotel and can hang out together and you don't have to have them stay with you, as well as other family members. If they want to work something out with another local family member that is up to them.

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hmm...I don't know why they would assume that they are staying with you?! Even if you believe that they may want to stay at your house I would NOT send out that email! I would be taken aback by receiving an email from a family member whose only intent is to make sure that I know I am not welcome to stay at their house...AND it's January!
When you set up the "formal" invite for all family members you can include local hotel information. Then, you can add a not-so-subtle hint that houseguests cannot be accommodated due to space limitations and the fact that you will be too busy hosting! Good luck :)

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I'm guessing you just don't like them, as many a person (myself included) has found a tiny spot on the floor for people we like. Just say no. That's it. You do not need to write a big long letter, however, yes, to alleviate guilt or whatever send along a list of hotels (which truthfully you do not need to do as the internet provides all that information and most people are internet savvy) and have a great time.

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