Hi J.,
I am really gonna try not to sound harsh and mean but honestly.Do know how many mothers there are out there that are just dying for their daughters to let them in their lives. For them to just tell them 1 little thought, or one little feeling or moment they had that day.
I think you are at a very IMPORTANT crossroad with your daughter and this is a fine line to walk. If you don't listen to her "rambling" on about him and really listen even when you don't want to, you will shut the door on her ever coming to you again, about anything. She is gonna feel if she can't come to you about the small, unimportant stuff then how can she come to you about the BIG, IMPORTANT stuff.
On the other hand if you just sit and listen and truely listen to her she will know that she can come to you. In my opinion I wouldn't say anything to her about whether he likes her in the same way or not. I keep the conversation with her about her and role she plays in her life and with what she is feeling.
Let me tell you a story...I was 14 yrs old and head over heels for this boy, couldn't tell the difference from night and day, we spent every waking moment on the phone together, every weekend we were together, we were like peas and carrots. If we weren't on the phone we were together and when we were not together we were on the phone. But one day I went to talk to my mother about how I was feeling about this boy, what were these "feelings", what was going on with me, why was I so infatuated with him, all of these things just like your daughter. And do you know what happened.....my mother totally dismissed my feelings and what I was talking about and told me "I was about as human as a frog", from that day forward I never told my mother another thing that I was feeling, what was going on with my life. As far as I was concerned she didn't care what I had to say and didn't want to hear it. What happened next I was 16 and pregnant.
I'm not saying this will happen with your daughter but what I am saying is that my mother missed a very important conversation with me.
And if you think like this with your daughter you will miss a very important conversation with your daughter, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but it may be when she is 18, mayber 22, maybe 26, it might even be the very first real boyfriend and date she goes on or it may even have to do with this very boy, who knows.
But to want her to stop talking about him, is like telling my 1 yr old to quit learning how to talk.
You know we as parents play a very important role with our kids, whether it be when they are 1 or when they are 14, you are laying the ground work everyday that you don't really take the time to listen to her, one day she will realize (if you keep going like this), why should Isay anything she doesn't listen to me anyways, I'll just tell someone who will listen or I'll just keep it to my self.
Anyway I guess thats enough of my ranting about this, but please take into consideration about what you are saying and what you are wanting, W.