Facebook Bashing?

It can when catty and annoying people are on there stalking, spreading gossip or rumors, starting fights... I've seen it all and I tend to stay away from those and block those people. It's people ruining facebook, not facebook ruining facebook.

I know I made a comment this morning about Facebook. In that context though the person is having problems with communication, if you are having problems with communication the last thing anyone should advise is message them on Facebook.

For normal communication there is nothing wrong with using Facebook as one way to reach out.

I guess what I mean is if you don't understand what someone meant by something on Facebook, or any typed media, is it better to kick that dead horse or pick up the phone and say what exactly did you mean?

Still it isn't Facebooks fault, it is the people involved who can't step back and say well this isn't working lets try something different.

Personally I don't like FB. Though I admit I will respond to the occasional message

Kids on FB in class takes them off task---parents on FB may pay more attention to messages then to their kids (not all but some) and can FB can contribute to obesity in both adults and children---parents giving babies a bit more nibbles to keep the baby quiet and happy while they read and send more messages; kids FBing instead of actively playing etc.

Personally I feel FB is an interruption to life and daily tasks and responsibilities!

I don't think Facebook is a problem but some people on there have problems that should be dealt with at home rather then on a thread out to hundreds of people. Some things people need to remember is that it doesn't take place of person to person or even phone calls.... but then neither does texting. When my son died in a car accident 18 months ago my other son's wife put it on her facebook page before we could even contact all of the family. What a horrible way to find out that your nephew died. Then my daughter let me know she was engaged by putting it on her facebook page (she knew I didn't like the guy and thought she was making a huge mistake) That is how I found out she eloped too. She sees now that it wasn't the right way to handle it and what she missed out on with a wedding, but I also seen that he isn't as bad as I thought he was and am thankful for his help and support through losing our son. So to answer the question does facebook ruin relationships, no, it is when people who post does not think of how it is to all that is reading it that is destroying relationships. A good rule of thumb, if you wouldn't say it face to face, you shouldn't post it on facebook.

I think the bashing stems from the 'common sense-challenged' people that use it.

Well, FB is a tool, and a tool used badly or immaturely or incorrectly can cause problems - but the fault lies with the user(s).
When you get whole herds of immature people (and some never out grow this so it's not necessarily age related) using it, it gives the tool a bad name.
I have a FB account and through it I've lost a lot of respect for many friends.
It's easy to like people until you discover they are complete idiots, bigots, and/or foam at the mouth over politics/religion, etc.
I'd like to preserve a few of my illusions, so I dropped using FB and I don't miss it at all.

I love FB,. It's a part of my day everyday. With family who live hours away and friends that I have reconnected with, I am so thankful for having it.

It's not a problem for me...but obviously there are a LOT of people that use FB for stalking, back-biting, O. upping, etc.

Generally speaking: "FB doesn't ruin relationships, people ruin relationships"!
FB provides a convenient way for them to do that.

Kind of like a gun in the wrong hands.
But you don't need a permit to get FB. :)

I think it CAN, I think it is an "enabler" of sorts. People who are typically introverts can be as such while giving the illusion of being extroverts. Here is a story of how facebook caused drama for my extended family (my side really does not use it) that was not needed and there was no excuse for. My GIL was ill, she had alsheimers (very violent with it) and dimensia - we had to place her in a nursing home, luckily my MIL is in the business and was able to get access to a very good place right by her and my MIL's kids. Some of the extended family would visit her and then bash the home, staff, my MIL and spread lies about her condition all because they were bitter about not handing out Papa's things right after the funeral. Honestly - my MIL was not ready - there was no official will in place and GIL was still alive for peet's sake! When friends/family would see these posts people would go to the home "to see for themselves" and cause issues in the home by being rude to the staffers. Finally many people realized what was going on and blocked them - but the kids (teens) were still friends with them so the "adults" took advantage of this and began sending mean messages about what the other adults were doing or "not doing" according to them. All the while her oldest son is dating a mean and fairly abusive woman who is kicking him out every other week and posting it on facebook for his kids to see! Then she put all of his things on the yard the day GIL passed and the day after we buried her they announced on Facebook, but not to ANYONE in person they were engaged. The use of facebook by people like this has most definately cause me to seriously dislike facebook ... it enables evil.

Nope. Facebook is not the problem. People are. To me it's just like saying guns are dangerous. They're not until some idiot picks it up and shoots someone. Guns by themselves are just that, guns. Facebook is just a way to keep in contact with people. IF someone uses it inappropriately than it's the PERSON who is at fault, not the computer program.
Quick story. Just last week I got an email from an exboyfriend of mine. He was a great guy whom I dated for almost 4 years. We broke up because I wanted to get married and have kids and he did not. We remained friends for a bit and then I got married and my husband felt uncomfortable with me talking to him, so I sent him an email and explained and haven't heard from him in 7 years. It was weird to see an email from him pop up. I wrote back a real bare boned message and then he wrote back this long note saying that he knew he wasn't supposed to write me but he just couldn't wait any longer and was so curious about life for me. He told me to friend him on facebook. I did. Then I was talking it out with my very good friend and she told me...YOU ARE SO STUPID! Why would you do that? You got a good marriage (I do!), great kids (I do!), and a good thing going for you! Why would you compromise that???
Omg, she was right!!! I immediately got back on facebook and deleted the request and have since blocked him from communicating with me through FB AND email. Drastic? maybe. But, I don't want to mess up my marriage just because I am curious about how someone is doing. PLUS, if the truth be told, I really really loved that guy and if I were to ever be tempted to cheat it would be with that guy. How stupid of me to even put myself in that situation.
FB would not have been at fault. *I* would have been.
L.

No Facebook is not the problem. People are the problem. I mean come on its a tweaked up email program! Sending a Facebook message to someone is not different then sending an email. It's like having your own "website" remember people used to do that too? Blaming Facebook and the sites like it is like blaming a telephone and caller ID.

I use FB to keep up with family that is far away, friends I had as a kid, old coworkers I lost touch with.. new found family .. To me talking on the phone, sending an email, sending a text, sending a FB message are all just as good.. its communication.

I have had questions asked, or idiot family members think a post is all about them when it is not the case. That wasn't Facebook's fault nor was it mine. It was THAT family members problem because they think my world revolves around them! If I want to post my thoughts I will, if you don't like them...well delete me! I dont care!

Facebook is a corporation. It exists to make money. It is not a social networking free for all out of the goodness of our hearts site. You pay for that right to use that site and they are terrible about your privacy. Use it for what it is worth but be very careful with your data and especially careful with your children's information.

I am a Facebooker! my new word. I am a Mamapedia-er... In my opinion its all the same. Sitting at a desk, not having to deal with the human being. Its easy to say and do what you want when the person in question is a country away and not in danger of getting slapped up side the head. Me I tend to be the same person online as I am in person. HMMM probably why I don't have many friends in each venue. If someone starts drama with me in FB. They get a warning. I tell em what i dont like. If they want to be my friends they don't de-friend me. If they don't appreciate my honest.... well honey there is the delete button. BOOP. My relations with my family were rocky before face book, now we are actually getting better, and its great for my husbands family in India to see all that goes on for me. I would be hard pressed to give them that kind of exclusive look into our lives, with out technology.

I am grateful for FB. It allows me to keep up with my extended family. I post pictures. Keep up with friends. ANd I never have to remember anyones birthday, cuz FB will remind me!

I do know alot of people have hooked up and alot of people have been busted hooking up. The differance is the individual. I surround myself with quality people. I don't tolerate messyness or drama. So, I never have any messy drama on FB.

I agree with people saying it's not Facebook but it's the people who use it in stupid ways. What I object to though or wish is kids/teenagers weren't allowed to use it. I hate the idea of my kids going off to college and their roommates already having an opinion of them bc of Facebook. That happened to my niece. And I don't like the idea of kids already having to create a persona and worry about how many "friends" they have etc. Not Facebook's fault per se but I just wish it didn't exist. For adults, I don't really care. They're adults. Seems stupid to me and I can't stand the way some people seem to use it to show their "perfect" lives. I think it just fuels competition but that's why I'm not on it anymore. I barely ever went on and then turned it off. But that's my choice. I wonder if teenagers even feel like they have much of a choice if they want to be "normal".

I agree with Michelle, Facebook is, for me a great way to share good news and fun, I 9gag a lot and post pictures of my kids and their accomplishments and whatnot, but like I just posted not two hours ago, some people are looking for drama and toxicity, (don't ask me I don't know why) and for this facebook is also very useful as it has the possibility of involving a lot of people and any situation, so I guess is up to us to try our best to be clear of those situations.

It is so strange to me that people have drama on facebook. The only person I "unfriended" was a guy that attended the same high school as me, that I was acquainted with, but was not a "real friend". He posted a terrible remark about the child that spoke with Michele Bachman. The fact that he would even think I would stand for such a thing was ridiculous.. Others responded that this guy was the same in high school.. "Little man complex."

Other than that person, everyone on my facebook seems to be having fun with it like I do. There are some friday nights I am weeping with laughter over our posts.. We are all meeting in person for gathering, where before there is no way we would have all even known how to get in touch with each other.

My sister early on expressed that she did not want us to ever talk about her and her kids on FB, and so we just leave that alone. But she is also a person that also does not want us to speak about her with anyone anytime.. .. She is strange.

It may be my age, My friends and family are older and so we do not play silly games with each others feelings. (even in real life) We are not out, looking to "Hook up".. We are just enjoying each others company.

I have old boy friends on my FB page, my husband has a few of his old girlfriends there.. But we do not have any reason to be worried, instead we all comment on each others children or their grandchildren and congratulate each other on how fortunate we all are.

Some people thrive on drama.. At work, at home, at church.. It has always been this way.. Ever watch Little House on the Prairie? Rated G, but all sorts of gossip backbiting, scandal.. Always the same sort of people.

Facebook is what you make of it.

FB is a great way to keep in contact with lots of people. I post pictures so I don't have to send a group email to those I know want to see my son as he is growing up. The only thing that annoys me is when people "unfriend" for stupid reasons. But I guesss the friendship was not all that strong in the first place.

I do have issues with FB but I've dealt with it so it's better for me. I'm not on as much nor do I post too many statuses because I don't like somethings that are commented. Rude or they misunderstand too much and it annoys me.LOL So I'm rarely on anymore. Just enough to "keep in touch." I also have issue with their privacy policy so I deleted my old account (actually deleted it and not just deactivated it) and started a new one with an email that's only for FB. I also don't post pictures or videos or personal stuff about me and my family. If I want to share things with people, I blog it and post my blog on FB. I don't like how their advertisers have access to all my stuff and personal information for their advertising purposes and how when I surf the web, those sites suddenly show up as advertisements on my FB page. I have it set so it's random now and my stuff is private from FB staff and advertisers but not my family and friends...LOL But otherwise, I like FB and have a ton of FB friends. I'm just careful.

I'm not a 'fan' of Facebook personally, and don't use it myself. My reasoning, though, is about the property rights regarding user-generated content (Facebook owns all information/images/etc. that are posted), and not about *how* the interpersonal exchanges go down.

People will always be who they are. Facebook just sort of puts it out there for everyone (and their Friends and their Friends Friends) to see. People who usually have no boundaries and tend to make a jerk of themselves in public will have no problem doing so on Facebook. People who are more thoughtful and tempered in their lives will likely be more censured in their FB activity.

My sister quit FBing for the reason that she was tired of being concerned that people would take her posts or comments the wrong way and was worn out on worrying about if she was offending anyone. She's a sweetheart and one of the least offensive people I know. I'm also guessing that the people who are actually pretty offensive are not troubled by those same thoughts....

And I stand by *everything* Wickerparkgirl suggests in regard to relationships on FB. Read Sherry Turkle's "Alone Together". A whole new perspective on how technology has allowed us to have very effortless, limited relationships.

I hear about FB drama, but I don't friend people who are into drama, so I don't have those issues. But then, I don't have 500 friends on my list, either, lol. I guess the only issue I have is that I've got some friends from highschool that are pretty militant atheists, and I've got friends from adulthood that are pretty serious ministers and missionaries. Sometimes I have a little question like "how should I respond to that without causing issues on SOME front". Other than that, no problems.
NOW: my husband isn't on FB at all because of his job, but he will sit with me and ask me to look up family, or I'll call him in to tell him a former coworker just sent him a message (they all know they can get in touch with him through me). I am happy in my marriage and don't tempt trouble by looking for someone or messaging someone in a way that I wouldn't do if we were all face to face, with my husband present. Because I love and respect him. If people can remember they're married and never cross lines....meaning whatever line BOTH parties in the couple are comfortable with....then FB is awesome. I am not going to call my cousins, aunt, or some old friends. But it's really nice to see what's going on in their lives, and share the basics about mine, in such an easy way. It's awesome to keep in touch with people who live far away. I'm SO grateful that I finally found 3 long lost, very very close friends through FB. My parents divorced and moved at the same time A's parents did, so we lost touch. J called to tell me he was moving to another place in Spain, but I was asleep and sick and told him I'd call him back later----a week later, when I had moved to a new apartment I tried to get in touch, and the number didn't work. And I'd moved, so my old number didn't work! S moved back to Croatia during the civil war and we phoned and wrote regularly. But then things got really bad in her city. And we moved away (mom/dad's divorce). Suddenly the letters I wrote her were being returned, and her phone number was dead. She couldn't get in touch with me, I actually thought she was dead. Nearly 20 years later, there she is on FB (the 2nd person I looked up). We talk every day now! We also can very easily skype while on FB, so my mom gets to see the boys grow up and they can remember her and get to know her.
I think irresponsible people ruin relationships, not a tool. That's like saying a telephone ruins relationships. Because "in the old days", like, the 90s...if you got a little sentimental and wanted to look up an old boyfriend, you could often just call information or look them up in the phone book. And then phone them. The phone didn't cause you to cheat. Your stupid choice did. Right?

No drama experience here. I think it's over-used. I'm on there b/c of out of state family and I have a work related "group" which I can freely ask and answer questions. I don't post many status updates. I feel obligated to keep it to stay in touch with family and it's the thing to have. Sometimes I wish it was never invented.

I am on FB regularly and I've never had a problem - it's made it much easier to share news and pics of my daughter with family and friends who live far far away (all over the country in fact). I actually was found by a distant relative (same last name!) who still lives in Poland, where both sets of grandparents are from! I also got contacted by a half-sister of my husband's from his dad's side (he has never met his bio-dad but has met some of his half-siblings). None of this would have been possible without FB, so I think it's great! I only have my settings on "Friends Only" as far as who can see my stuff, and I am only friends with people I have known and been friends with in real life. I can see how it could be a negative thing, but I agree that it's a tool, and it's the people mis-using it, rather than the tool itself, that is the problem. People can cause drama in real life, FB just makes it easier for them to do so. When my mother passed away last year after battling cancer for 9 months, I made sure every close friend and family member was contacted by phone personally before I ever posted anything on FB - because there was no way I wanted that to be how they found out if they should have been called first instead. On the other hand, the only way I knew my SIL had gotten remarried was when she changed her "relationship status" on FB - and I was like, really? THAT irked me! I also don't like the vague, cryptic status updates, like, "Someday the truth will come out." What???

People have been having affairs and ruining relationships all on their own before FB ever came along! But just because FB may make it easier, don't blame FB - blame the people who choose to act like jackwagons on it.

Facebook is simply a communication tool, it can be used to enrich a life or waste a life. People have always been critical of a new tool for communication, like when the telephone became common enough that people would call one another instead of go visit in person, or when e-mail came into common usage and no one posted a handwritten letter anymore, the fuddy duddies of the world decried these events endlessly! I use Facebook to stay in touch with my very large extended family and it has helped me to become much closer to my cousins whom I normally would only talk to every 2-3 years when I saw them in person, now we exchange short but frequent messages and we have discovered that we have more in common than we thought! And it is great to see updates on my family members and friends new jobs, the cute things their kids do, etc. I also like to read and share interesting articles that we find and discuss them on Facebook, we often have very different opinions and it is fun to debate. I never play Facebook games because I think they are a waste of time and I am not really into games, but even if you do play the games I think it is OK as long as it doesn't consume more than an hour a day of your life, more than that and I'd call it an addiction.

Facebook is not a problem for me. I only have friends on my fb page or ppl that i want there. I just had a small issue last night that one of my husbands male friends made a comment about me being sexy. i felt it was too close to that line so i told him so. it bothers me and i let him know no big deal. just like i would have done if we were face to face. i know i am not sexy but i just dont want him saying stuff like that. everyones comments were approperiate and kind but i just felt a little red flag go up when I saw his post. but that is the only issue i ever had on fb. i keep up with old hs friends and most family members that i would not have if they werent on fb. i also post pics of the kids so far away relatives can keep up.

Facebook is just like anything.
It depends on how you use it.
I opened an account several years ago only because we were getting ready to have a big family reunion on the other side of the U.S. and people who were going wanted to chat and my uncle sent pictures of the place the reunion was going to be held, etc.
I didn't really keep up with facebook after that.
My birthday was last week and I was really shocked and suprised at how many people sent me birthday greetings. That was pretty cool.

However, I have known people who have gotten into facebook wars and to me, it's so juvenille. Checking constantly to see what someone else said or who is starting drama.
I personally would find no enjoyment in any of that. Nor would I take part in it.

That's just my opinion on the subject.