Technology and Manners???

We have a strict rule that there are no phones at the table. Hubby and I will occasionally break this if we're having lunch together and one of us gets a call regarding work, but otherwise, no phones at the table. I refuse to raise children who don't know how to have a face to face conversation with someone. I also don't let the kids text each other when they're sitting right next to each in the same room. If you have something to say, you say it to the person.

Even 10 and 5 years ago, people were not as obsessive over having to be online 24/7 no matter where they are. I hate it. My husband and I don't take calls at the table, whether at home or a restaurant or somebody else's house. We don't play on websites at the table. We are raising our teens the same way - phones do NOT come to the table. We've had to tell their friends that too, because these kids today have grown up seeing it, they do not know any other way.
Me, I'm simply not that important. If my kids are with me, there's no one else that I really need to hear from. I have no desire to be instantly available around the clock.
I think your question is a genuine concern, not a JFF fluff question.

No. I don't think it's technology. I believe it is PEOPLE, therefore society that has killed manners.

Technology is just an excuse. Technology does NOT put the phone in your hand. Technology does NOT force you to check your phone every 5 minutes. That's society. Gotta keep up. Gotta prove JUST HOW IMPORTANT you are by checking your e-mail or facebook at a restaurant.

It's called self-control - many people don't have it.

Have you seen the custom where people put their cell phones in a pile in the center of the table? First person to touch their phone pays for everyone.

I think the decline in manners is based on instant gratification - we have instant mail, instant texts, instant everything. People text instead of talking, email instead of sending a thank you note, and so on. And people definitely click "post" or "send" without thinking! The more that things are in writing, the less personal interaction there is - email and texting are communication without facial expressions and without voice inflections. So there's lots of room for misunderstanding.

I see kids in the movie theater at $11 a ticket, ignoring the movie and texting, often to the people they are sitting with. Crazy.

In my opinion, if you MUST take a call in a restaurant (or a store, or a checkout line, or a waiting room), you get up from the table and excuse yourself. You don't make others listen to your half of the conversation.

Unfortunately hubby and I are guilty of this behavior. You are completely right it's rude,annoying,disrespectful and a bad habit. So much that's it's part of the mix of our marriage going down the gutter. I have cried about this situation (being on a date and instead of attention to each other it's to our damn phone), because it makes me feel so uninteresting, boring, unwanted, and just blah!
It's never that we Both agree to turn on phone off, or have a set time to it as we please while not interfering with quality time. It's as if we forgot how to interact with each other without depending on out gadgets.
Really it's sad that we have lost touch with reality and depend so much on technology.
Pretty sure not everyone's case is the same. Perhaps DH and I are just dealing with bigger issues that we try and avoid our reality by appearing to be busy on our phone. :(

Hubby and I have a rule: no phones at the table. If one of us even reads a text, the other while repeat the rule.

The last time we went out to a restaurant alone, another patron kept checking her phone. She had the volume up too, so we kept hearing some song play over and over. It annoyed both of us.

I don't think technology is at fault. It's how people choose to use it. If you let it interfere with your real life relationships then you are making a choice as to what is important to you.

well, i'm sort of with you. but how do you know what the couples are doing? if they're actually checking FB that's kinda uncool, but what if they're fielding messages from their babysitter or aging parents or handling a work emergency?
i really don't care for the trend that allows people to haul out their smart phone and fiddle with it while they're interacting with people in front of them. i've snipped at my kids for FB-ing while they're supposedly watching a movie with me, but i've given up that battle. multi-tasking is the norm for today's youth, while i find it distracting and rude.
but danged if i didn't find my dh and me sitting at the table yesterday evening both dueling away on our i-phones. in our defense, we were both trying to find a weather report that agreed with what the newspaper said. but i still had to shake my head ruefully, as we had succumbed to one of those 'we will NEVER....' moments.
manners do change with the times. i hope this one doesn't become acceptable, but then, i'm old.
:) khairete
S.

It's just as bad in homes. My own family is guilty of this. SD had eaten earlier but last night came to the table...to give us distracted short answers and text on her phone. I don't know why she bothered. I am sick so I ignored her and was so disgusted with the behavior (she and SS both do it and sometimes DH calls them on it and sometimes not) I left the table. I had a headache and if DH wanted to talk to a phone, then so be it. When it's just me and DD and DH, there are no phones near the table.

It is the PERSON holding the phone but the phones and their portability don't help.

I hate cell phones! We do not have cell phones in our house. If the telephone rings during supper we let the voicemail get it and we check it after our meal. The TV is also off while we eat, although I am guilty of reading the paper at the table, but I talk about what I am reading while I am reading.

I think it's rude to answer the phone or play on the phone while at the dinner table, whether that table is in a restaurant or in your home. We do not allow playing at the table. The dinner table is for eating and for family conversation.

Unless it is a medical emergency, there is nothing that can't wait 20 minutes for our family to have dinner together with everybody 100% available and participating.

It's not the phone's fault, it's the people. Sometimes hubby and I will check our phones at the table, sometimes the kids play games on them or even bring their ipods with them. We don't do it often and are aware of the problem when we do pick it up. It's just the world we live in now. We don't like it, but it is what it is. So I'd just ignore the people doing it who are bothering you and go about your meal. Even though I know that can be difficult.