Explaining Something to a 3 Year Old!!

Here's my take on it.

He's not going to care *why* he can't go over there anymore. He just knows that he can't and he's angry. He's showing you he trusts you when he shows those emotions around you. He knows that he's safe with you. I know it can be hard to deal with when he says words that are hurtful, but keep in mind that he's really telling you that he trusts you.
Another thing is that toddlers don't deal well with change. You disrupt their world and it takes time for them to adjust, it's painful for them!
I agree with the other response that said finding a replacement, a playgroup or a consistent activity that he enjoys could help.

He is probably afraid thst if you broke up with the father (and daughter) you could 'break up' with him. He isi afraid you could leave him if you stop loving him and is testing you to see if it will happen. I would stop saying anything negative about the father or daughter around him. Reassure him by hugs and words that you will never leave him, that he is your family. A next time don't even have him meet your next date unless you are planning on getting married! It is really hard on little ones!

C. your 3 year old isn't going to understand no matter what you tell him, at this age they are really selfish and dont get much LOL. I would give it time and try to remember he really doesnt know he is hurting you by saying those things and maybe you can get him involved in another play group on the weekends that would at least bring back the ellusion of going to play on the weekends. Good luck.
J.

Personally my husband and I have recently seperated. My girls 4 and 2 get very angry with me and say things that really hurt. They do this because I'm safe no matter what I won't leave them. I wouldn't try to explain the break up to your son instead just acknowledge his feelings. Try to come up with other fun things for you guys to do. Maybe enroll him in a class where he can meet other friends. I'm glad to see that you have learned to be more cautious about involving your child in future relationships. I wish you and your children the best.

A.

I was reading the responses that other moms left, and I just couldn't believe what they were saying. How can they tell you not to involve your kids in your relationships!?! I mean, they're your kids for Christ's sake!!! I don't think that there is a way to NOT involve your kids, and if you did, I think that it would be like denying a part of yourself. I don't think that you did anything wrong by letting your son play with his daughter. When you started the reelationship, you thought that it would last for a while (otherwise you wouldn't have dated him in the first place, I hope), and it was convenient that he was in the same position as you are (a single parent). I would have done the same thing that you did. You had no way of knowing that things wouldn't work out, and that your son would be this hurt. I think that you should sit him down and explain to him that you aren't bad, and that he just can't play with THAT friend anymore, but that if he wants, that you will take him to the park, or a playgroup where he can make more friends. I wouldn't say anything about your relationship, or blame either your ex or his daughter, I would just tell Chase that it's time to make new friends.

I have had 13 yrs of parenting my children alone, they are teens now, and I am just beginning to see how my parenting has paid off positively. I think we all wonder while we're doing it, if we're making the right choices.

The main thing I have always done, is to be honest with my kids in an appropriate way. When I make mistakes, I say I made a mistake. It shows the children we are human, and it teaches them how to deal with mistakes they may make in the future. Same goes for reltionships that end, the way we deal with them ending teaches them.

In your case, I would say, "Joe ( whatever his name is) and I are not going to be spending time together any longer, which means you and Sue won't be playing together. I am sorry this upsets you and I am sad too (or whatever emotion it is you're feeling)"...and like the woman below me, remind him that he will have other friends and that the two of you will do fun things together. But you must follow through on that and help make situations for him where he can make other friends naturally (such as playgroups, preschool) He may be so attached to the ex and his daughter, b/c he does not have alot of other strong relationships in his life. It is your job to help him create those which are his, on his own, and not made thru your relationships. Good luck.