"Expectations" can really either impede/hinder or promote a marriage and relationship.
If 'expectations' are UN-attainable, then well, the other person will ALWAYS be disappointed in the other person. That other person, then, is always not happy because the other Spouse is 'always' displeased with the other spouse. NO matter what the other person does to please them.
It is impossible.
It is a vicious cycle.
And, will negatively affect your marriage.
No one, can ever attain the expectations of the other person, if it is unfair or simply not possible or based on poor stereotypes of how a person 'should' act.
Some people are also, VERY inflexible. In what they 'expect' of others.
It is then OPPRESSIVE for the others.
The person who is inflexible, is then a sore thumb in the family and the others ALWAYS have to walk on egg-shells around that person.
Because, that person is always, not happy or satisfied with anyone. And the Spouse.
So, it is that person's maladjustment... that is badly affecting the relationship and marriage and family/Wife/Kids.
You need to talk about it. But people like this do NOT like to be 'criticized.'
Or you go to Counseling.
That person, has to 'learn' about other ways of being... and to do SELF-Improvement on themselves... for the whole of the family.
It is a selfish thing... when that person is negatively impacting their family/Wife... and will not, improve.
It is egocentric, to say the least.
The MAIN THING: is to NOT let, your Husband devalue you and your kids. This is HARMFUL and toxic.
Do not let him and his 'opinionated' and stiff attitudes, affect your own sense of Self, and confidence.
KNOW, that it is him... that needs to improve. And he has to realize that too.
Because, his 'habits' of his attitudes, are negatively affecting everyone's well-being.
That is when, and the signal, that someone's attitudes are harmful and not, healthy.
Being that your Husband lost his job... ALSO may mean that he is Depressed. And needs help.
Or he will continue to take it out on you and the kids.
This is NOT healthy.
Have him see a Doctor.
Or does he have too much Pride?
Also, the more he continues to be this way... he will lose his kids. Meaning, they will not trust him, nor go to him for anything, nor tell him anything about themselves or their lives... nor go to him for any problems etc. And this is, sad.
A Parent, needs to put their issues aside, to nurture their children.
Otherwise, the kids will 'learn' not to go to him for anything. And he will lose any closeness... with his family.
Because they are all walking on eggshells, around him.
Someone, has to stand up to him.
And tell him.
Otherwise, it will be an entrenched, problem the longer it goes on.
He needs, a wake-up call.
DO NOT blame yourself.
Your Husband, is a caustic Cactus, that is impeding everyone's happiness in the family. And his kids.
That is sad.
He needs to wake up.
He is harming the kids, and you. His Wife.
The longer your Husband does this, it will be, abusive.
all the best,
Susan