Ex Is Coming Back into Town

Ok, if he left without a word, and thinks he can just come in and see her whenever he wants, the answer would be no. I wouldn't let him see her at all, and if for some reason, I let him see her, it would ONLY be for an hour under MY supervision. I wouldn't stand for that. Do you legally have custody? If you do, he can't really say anything to it and you hold all the balls in your court. I hope that you can figure something out that you are comfortable with, but if you don't trust him, follow your instincts.

Hi D.. You know it sounds to me like you have a good/right idea, wait till grandma gets home and then drop the littl'n off. If he has a problem with it, oh well, he's the one that ran off in the first place

I don't think I would let him see her. He needs to prove to you that there will be some consistancy in her life. She will be all upset about her Daddy again and wonder where he went all over. You need to explain to him that. If he doesn't understand, which I doubt he will, then I would just wait and see if he calls her routinely or sees her routinley. Tuff stituation, sorry, but things will work out.

Hi D.,

I used to be a social worker. As you may know, that line of work requires a lot of experience. I have worked with many abused women in the past. Actually, a broad range of women in abusive relationships from lesbian relationships to prostitutes to low socioeconomic status, etc. I've witness some awful things women go through, some, incomprehensible. Everything you are saying is right and you should definitely not let him see her alone. In fact, maybe not at all. If you do want him in your daughter's life, then make sure you always have a 3rd party present, but then again once your daughter grows up, she will figure out that the 3rd party is there because you don't trust "daddy." Then she will question why we don’t trust him. So, maybe it is best right know that you don't expose your daughter to any of that. You are a good mother I’m sure and it is our on going job to shelter our kids from harm and raise them in a healthy environment in all aspects of life (emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual, mental, etc). You can’t ever ignore what you know. I wish you well and if you want a list of programs that help abused women get through difficult times there are many programs, organizations and associations that will help you reach your future goals and improve your quality of life. Let me know if I can get those out to you for your area. God bless.

This gives me a creepy feeling. Momma senses are tingling!!! Have them come to your house to visit. I know you probably don't want to hang out with them but it's about your daughter. Make it a little "party" for her. Make or order her favorite food & have an ice cream cake or something. That will at least distract you from them being there. I think I remember you posting about her Dad & his chick taking off a couple months ago??? I think that even if his Mom is there, they might try something. I'm sorry to even plant this in your head, but you just never know. Good luck!!!
S.

It sounds like you have the right idea. If that was the arrangement before, there is no reason it should be any different now...in fact, all the more reason for that to still be the arrangement. I wouldn't budge. He can't do anything about it unless there is a court order stating differently.