Ex Husband

I cant imagine why you wouldnt inquire about the health of someone you used to love that much, and wish him well. Especially if you still get along.

I still think it was nice that you tried to call. Just because you are concerned about his health doesn't mean you intend to jump into bed with him when he gets home! You did the right thing-she needs to lighten up.

I say yes it is okay to call. If you both left of good terms and both new spouses all get along, then call. As you said you spent a good part of you life with him and you are just showing concern for his health.

Of course! You can call anyone you wish. I think that would be very kind of you and sets a good example for your children. And boys do I admire you - 4, 3, and 1! You're a busy lady!

Hello B., I think it would ok to call, I kinda understand why you might be reluctant because you both have moved on and have families now. Showing your concern for his health is a normal thing, and you just want to know that he is doing ok.

Of course you can call him! I hope hes ok!

I'm not sure if any of the kids are his, but this would mean you have a real reason to contact him. I would also think you would still have some people in his family that you still care about and you would want to offer your support to them. I never felt immediately cut off from the people getting a divorce in our family in fact sometimes it felt like the entire family was being rejected, but these are people you interacted with on a close level then just disappeared, so I would welcome your concern if I were a part of his family.

I think that sounds like the right thing to do.

if you're truly only concerned about his health, but worried about other peoples' feelings, then you should have no problem calling his new wife to check on his progress. i would take a good hard look at your intentions and what you hope to accomplish. if it's anything other than honest concern, then maybe you should rethink your tactics. but if you truly have good intentions and mean no harm, then i don't know why you couldn't call to check on him. i think calling the new wife would be a gesture of good faith so that everyone would realize your concern is genuine.

Good Morning B., If you had a good relationship with your ex I would have no doubt it would be ok to check on him. Call his parents or siblings.
Talk to your husband about it also. Even when there are hard feelings in a break up at one time there was love and caring. Checking on him only shows your concern for his well being.

God Bless you and your new family
Will keep all in our prayers
K. Nana of 5

Dont be sorry you called. Remember the call was for him not for her. you did the right thing and she has the problem. Be proud of yourself. As far as his kids go, they should ignore her wishes, he is their father and they have the right to see him.

I think you should follow your heart. Understand that this is a family crisis and you are not family any longer, but you can let his wife know that you still care about his well being. It may surprise you to find that your concern is well recieved.

I say it depends on your current relationship, the relationship you have with him and if you have children together.

As with mine we do and have a decent relationship, even with both being remarried and living happy lives.

If it was me, I would let my hubby know that I was going to check on him and ask what he preferred me to do, call or visit. Then I would respect my current hubby's preference and check on the ex. Just because you two can not be married any more, does not mean you have to drop all feelings aside that you had for the man.

You are here asking us, so you do care for him as a person and just want to make sure things are ok. I would check on him to ease your mind.

Hope that this helps.

If it was me I would call someone in his family that you were also close to and send your well wishes..THis way you can share your concern and make sure he is okay without any complications by calling him directly.

Call, check on him, send him and his new wife flowers. There is nothing wrong with wanting to check on him.

By all means, I would call to check on him. Like you said, you live very separate lives, but I think you'd regret not checking on him if, (God forbid), something happened to him. Just let your hubby know that you're calling, and since he's your best friend, he will understand! I pray he's OK. Take care.

why not????? he would probably love to hear your voice and know that you are concerned for him.

I would say of course!

I would just make sure that my husband knew that I was calling. Other than that-you should!!!

Check on him... absolutely. He is your children's father.

Good Morning,

First, I am sorry to hear of this unfortunate health event. It is only natural that you would be concerned. I would suggest you sharing the information that you have learned with your current husband, who is your best friend. Let him know of your concern and that you would like to check on him. Ask him, "honey, how do you think "we" should approach this situation, to make sure they knew we were calling out of genuine concern..." I would hope that if you involved your husband in the process, it may make him feel secure, and will help the other parties also.

God be with you.

The nurses cannot legally give you any information about how he is doing. You can call his room and ask him yourself, OR most hospitals now have a "send a patient an email" type listing on their web sites. You could "send" him a get well card?

Pray for your x. That's a thing of the of the pass. Not to be mean you owe him nothing, why start a fuse with the love you already have. Stay clear of the mess.

A.

B., I think that it's perfectly fine. Just because you are married to the man dosen't me you don't still care for him. Are you and his new wife friendly enough that you could call her and ask how he's doing? You could do that to so that she doesn't think anything other than your a friend who wants to see how he is. But I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all.

I would not call to check on him...you can learn the information that you want to have through a third party...a mutual friend...a family member. I am mainly thinking of your husband...how would HE feel if you call to check on your ex to find out how he is doing?? My husband has an ex wife and if he called to check to see how SHE was doing I would wonder why on earth he cared!!! It sounds to me like you have no children with this ex husband...if you did...that would be a different matter...you would be checking on their Father.
I would tell your husband what you have heard....that you are praying that your ex suffers no permanent damage and let it go at that.

I too have been divorced 4 years - neither of us have remarried yet.

If you called him would he be receptive and grateful or push you away? Would it help him feel better or worse? after all if you are concerned about him - you would want to do whatever would be best for him.

Not that this makes a whole lot of difference - but, How would his wife feel about your call?

maybe just sending a get well card will let him know you were concerned and wish him the best without being present on the phone??

I'm no expert by any means - I say, lisen to your gut and follow your heart - that always works pretty good for me.

S.

Would there be a reason not too?

I think you should discuss with your husband and let him know you want to send well wishes.

Sometimes in life, we get caught up in "something". And this "something" doesn't allow us to give friends and family the same kinds of courtesy that we would offer a stranger.

(I don't know what to call this "something", but I mention it because it's happened to me too.)

I say, with the blessings of your husband, offer your concern to your ex-husband and his wife. It's only human that you care about him (them), you would care about them if they were strangers and wouldn't feel funny about offering your prayers, encouragement...

I am trying to never let this "something" get in the way of allowing my kind feelings to get out of my body! My new philosophy is that if I would be comfortable saying it to a stranger, I should sure as heck get over myself and say it to a friend, acquaintence, family member.

Best of luck to you. And I'll say a prayer for your ex-husband as well.

I think it's okay. See how he's feeling, provide a positive diversion, and maybe talk to his new wife to ask if she'd like you to bring a meal over once they get home or help take the dog for a walk or something while he's in the hospital. I wouldn't offer that to him, only to his new wife, so no one feels like you are being pushy, just helpful if they need it.

B.-
I definitly think you should call him. There is nothing wrong with calling him to see if he was ok. Youwere married to him once. I would just tell your new husband you were going to call so it does not seem like a secret!

I don't think it would be inappropriate at all to check on him. *hug*

B.,

Let me just say that I think it would be great to show that you care! It doesn't mean you want that life back, but that you are concerned!! 3 years ago my husband who I have been married to for 18 years had 2 mild strokes and was in the hospital. 2 of his visitors were my ex-husband and his wife! It was very kind and considerate of them to come and see how we were both doing and I appreciated it VERY much! Just because our lives change does not mean we have to become bitter, which from reading your note here you obviously are not! So yes, go call, or even go see him.

I don't see why you shouldn't...I agree that you might want to mention it to your husband but I think it's great to show the concern. Just because you aren't married anymore doesn't mean that you can't be socially civil with eachother. At one point you had deep feelings for this person and no amount of time or distance can change that. I think a call or a card is in extremely good taste. Kudos to you!