Everyone Poops?

This is a control issue. Everyone likes control and likes to be in control. He is not going to willingly give up this control so the only thing you can do is control the variables around his issue, like when he can wear the pull up, what rewards he gets for making progress, who cleans up the poop that doesn't make it to the potty. My youngest had similar issues with pooping, and we put a fan in the bathroom and the noise seemed to help. She would sit there with the fan on and we let her choose a time of the day to sit on the toilet and try. Like 8, or8:30, or 9. Hope this helps. B.

Hey M.,
I can totally sympathize with you. My youngest boy was by far the hardest to potty train. Let me tell you our stories sound very familiar. My son will be four in a couple of weeks. When he was 3 he was pee trained but poop trained wasn't until he was around 3 1/2. He would only poop when he had a diaper on and once I caught on to his shannagans, diapers became night time only, not even for poop. Then he would hold it until I put a diaper on him at night, then he would poop. So I threw all the diapers and pull ups away and told him the diapers were all gone and it was time to be a big boy. Since then he has pooped in the toilet and has not peed in his bed. Good Luck and stand firm!

I went through the exact same thing with my son. When the pull up went on he would poop in that at night. That was just a couple months ago and now he poops every time in the potty. A couple of things that we did were mostly bribes. Once he does go on the potty make a big deal out of it. We called grandparents and everything. Everyone told him how proud they were. Also this last weekend we bought him the cars bed that he has been wanting. If there is something your son is wanting try explaining to him that if he poops on the potty all the time then he can get the toy or whatever he is wanting. For some reason alot of people told me that it is harder to get them to go poop on the potty rather than pee. You might want to see if he preferres to sit on the big potty with or without a seat. My son never did poop in his potty chair and he preferred not to have a seat on the big toilet. You want to make him as comfortable as possible and give him options so he feels like he is more in control. Tread lightly and don't make it a bad experiance because problems can occur if the hold it in. Good luck and don't worry. I was were you are just a couple months ago and I have not changed a poopy pull-up in about 6 weeks. It is great! You will be there too.

Congrats on the potty training period it was a hard batttle with my 3yr old who finally just kind of got the picture on his own. When he wouldn't go we did the rewards thing and it took a little while but eventually it did work! The stickers thing covers so many areas LOL!! I believe we did stickers for about 3 weeks and the whole time described what could happen if he continued to hold it, also what would happen if he had a purposed accident. I am kind of old school, I let him wear it till he begged to be changed. I know not everyone feelsthe same on this sunject but my son somehow turned out to be a dirt freak and cant stand anything on him lol! So with all the talking and we bribed with big boy undies because until he would do both I wouldnt put him in them except for when he was at home, it all worked together!!

This happens to me personally all the time. I feel the urges to go. I walk to the bathroom, sit down, nothing. Usually, I'm impatient and have a house full of kids so I don't feel like I can sit and wait. That's my issue. I am not relaxed when I'm thinking that they will hit each other or throw something with me out of sight.

This is a physical thing. You need to make him sit there as long as it takes. Explain to him that he has to relax to make it happen and that if he keeps getting back up it will be harder. It happens when he goes to sleep because he is finally relaxed. So get some relaxing music and play it for him in the bathroom. Give him some sticker books to sit with so he won't be so bored while he sits on the potty. He'll learn to let it go.

With each of our girls we had to sit for an hour or more during the time of day we knew they would go. Eventually, they would get it and then the time would be shorter and shorter until they were doing it by themselves and we were out of the scenario altogether.

Suzi

My son did not poop on the potty until he was 4 either. He also has a speech delay. He would go to preschool and as soon as we would get home he would go hide and poop in his underwear. So after a few days of the exact same routine I quietly followed him to his hiding spot and caught him in the act, carried him to the bathroom and he pooped in the toilet (big toilet) and he seemed to realize it wasn't so bad after all... Now if I could convince him that everybody wipes their own butt, my world would be good. LOL

I've also read that it is not good on anyone to sit on the toilet for very long, it leads to other problems later on in life. Myself I tend to be very constipated and go sit on the toilet with a book for 15 minutes trying to go...sometimes I do and sometimes I don't...anyway, from what I've read its not good for people of any age to sit on the toilet hoping for things to happen.

Good Morning M., Your in a good club here. Corbin (3 1/2 yo Gr son ) did the same thing. We put smily faces on dry erase board when he went pp. Then we did other things when he went to poop. That didn't happen often either. He would hold it like another mom mentioned until he went down for a nap with a pull up on. He relaxed enough to let it out. He can go poop by himself now and he gets a miniture hershey bar or hersheys kisses when he does. Sometimes he has such large movements it hurts and I know when that is going to happen as he does the old man shuffle trying not to let it come out cause it is going to hurt his hinney. Right now he hasn't gone since Saturday Mom was to give him some fletchers for children last night.

I used to sit in the bathroom with him and read story books or sing silly songs until he pooped also. Anything that helps them to relax. He would tell me No he didn't have to poop either but we stayed there at least 15 minutes. Then back again maybe an hour later to sit some more.

God Bless you and yours, Hope he gets it for his own sake soon.
K. Nana of 5

My son was four when he potty trained. My younger son, who is three, goes off and on on the potty. Just depends on his mood. LOL. Your son will go both ways on the potty eventually. It's kind of a like a pediatrician here told a friend of mine, "He'll be potty trained by the time he walks down the aisle." There is an interesting connection between potty training and speech delays (which my older son also had when he was older). A book I found helpful was Late Talking Children by Thomas Sowell.

K.

My daughter loves Dora the Explorer and we were shopping at Wal-Mart and found a Dora seat that goes on the adult toilet seat as a toddler seat converter. We also bought her a little step stool to go to the "big potty". We weren't having much luck with the toddler potty. So, when she saw the Dora converter seat, she got really excited and I asked her if she would use the big potty if I got it for her. She has used the big potty ever since for "all of her business". When she tells me that she has to poop, I go in there with her and we will sing songs, I let her decide on the music choice to try to keep it fun for her and to keep her mind off what she is doing. After she is done, we wash up and I hung a white poster board on the bathroom door and when she goes to the potty, she gets to put a sticker on the poster board to show off her accomplishment. Good luck, I hope this helps. By the way, they have quite a few other characters on the seats and the seats weren't that expensive, they also had sport themed seats, not the teams, but the sports.

My mom had a similar problem with my brother when he was potty training. She told me that she didn't put a diaper on him at night, since she knew he'd poop in it, that she left him in his underwear. He did poop in his underwear but was so disgusted, embarrassed and upset that he didn't do it again.

My son was four years and two weeks old before he decided to go to the potty. When he was ready, it was a breeze. He had two accidents and that was all!
Since I have had four boys and they all trained in different ways and at their own times, I can reassure you that he will come around soon. It is normal for children to grasp control of either urination or defecation without learning to control the other for several months. It is best to be supportive, but to understand that it may take him several months.
Also, if he is constipated, it may be painful to go so he may wait for that reason. He may also wait because he is afraid of releasing his poop in the potty. Some children are afraid of this. There are many good books for children that may help. My youngest loved Potty Poo Poo Wee Wee by Colin McNaughton. We read it for months before he was trained, yet it is still one of his favorites.
I know it is frustrating to have a "late trainer." Sometimes people look at you funny, but it will come in time. Try to be patient and know that you are not alone.
P.S. My son had speech delays too (the one who trained at four). My neighbor's son had speech issues too and her son was six before he would poop consistently in the potty! Who knows maybe speech issues is a factor too! It will happen! I have not heard of anyone going off to college with this issue. Hang in there. I feel for you and wish you both a successful journey in this milestone! Have a great day!
K.

Seems he is playing games with you. Once he tells you he has to poop make him sit there for even 2 minutes and tell him that he must not tell you he has to poop when he doesn't. This may help him start telling you when he really does, the bigger deal made of it I think he may then use that to get attention.

Hi again M.,
My son was the same way.
He was doing great with peeing in the potty, but at nearly 4 years old he was still hiding in his closet to poop in his diaper. Refused to poop in the potty.
The pediatrician said boys are really notorious for being grossed out or embarrassed about pooping. He said it's common.
All I can say is patience, patience, patience.
Reward any successes with lots of praise, and any other reward you want, but don't say much at all about the "failures". Just show mild disappointment, but encourage him with something like "Well, you'll get it next time I bet". No scolding, or punishment, just an "Aw well, gee, that's too bad" attitude.
He'll get it eventually.
I don't remember when my son finally "got it", but he is now 25 years old, married with kids, and I am pretty sure he doesn't poop in closets any more !!! LOL !
Seriously, I know for a fact he had been completely potty trained long before he went to kindergarten.
Hang in there !

OH ! One other thing ........ he seemed to hate the potty chair, so we got one of those little seats that fit onto the big potty. It had a Snoopy back on it, and he was nuts over Snoopy. He seemed to like the "big potty" a lot better. Maybe something similar will help you ?
Best wishes.

Wow, can I relate. My son also has a bit of a speech delay and I dealt with the same issue. Finally this past summer, before he entered Kindergarten, he started to go regularly on the potty (pooping, the peeing thing we had down for a long time). When he knew he had to go, he would go and get his younger brothers pullups and go in one of those. His biggest fear was sitting on the potty. He had always standed up to pee. So one day I hid the pullups and he HAD to go, he held it as long as he could but eventually I got him to sit long enough to go in the toilet. There was some crying involved, but he got over it once he had seenhow happy I was he had accomplished such a 'big boy' thing. It took a few days of battleing, he would still hold it and he only pooped every oher day, but once he realized there was nothing to fear he acted like it was no big deal anymore. I stuck to my guns and it worked. Sometimes that's hard as a parent, we all know that. It was very embarrassing to have a 5 year old not go poop on the potty, but it is what it is.

A friend of mine required her son to poop on the potty. If he wanted to wear his pull-up, that was fine, but he must be sitting on the potty. Over time, he got accustomed to sitting on the potty and pooping, and pretty soon began pooping without the pull-up. Worth a try!