Every year we promote our cheer squad and our other teams at the local county fair. This year it fell on Labor Day weekend so none of the other cheer parents wanted to commit to coming to help out. As a result, it's just the coaches.
My daughter is on the cheer team so naturally she was going to come with me to hand out brochures and talk to other kids about the cheer team. She is 10.
All of her cheer friends bailed so she will be there with me and the other coaches.
My husband doesn't think it's fair to make her go by herself. I kind of agree, but on the other hand I also think it's important to help your team--even if no one else will, and to volunteer to help, even if no one else wants to.
She was all set to go help me, but now that my husband has been saying that he doesn't want her to go, she doesn't want to go. If he had kept his mouth shut, she would have been fine.
Would you make your 10-year old go, or would you let her stay home with dad?
Thanks for all the encouragement! I talked my daughter into going by letting her know she's a cheerLEADER and she needs to lead by example. One of the other girls ended up being able to come too so the two of them had a great time handing out pamphlets and showing off their skills. Then we went around the fair as a reward.
When we came home my husband asked "how was it?" and she said "GREAT!!!!" so I guess that shut him up!
Thanks again!
This is a good time to teach a lesson in responsibility. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing (or not doing), if she said she'd be there, then she should go.
I say she should go. It is for her squad AND she was committed to going. This is an excellent time to teach her about honoring a committment and also not following the crowd. Maybe not keep her there all day but she definately should be there. If she is the only girl that comes, I think a statement of recognition should be made in front of the whole squad...nothing big but just something like "We'd like to thank Suzy for coming out and helping us coaches support the team this past weekend. We appreciate her committment to the team."
If she was going to go before her friends bailed, then she should go after. She made the committment and needs to honour it.
Dad needs to be quiet.
She needs to go because she made a commitment.
Your husband is right about unfairness... it's unfair for the other girls and their parents to have bailed out on something they committed to do.
How about both you and Dad going with her? She could do the work she promised to do, and then you all can hit the high points of the fair (whatever they are), and then Dad can take his wonderful, conscientious daughter out for ice cream. That would be a day your daughter might cherish in her memory.
Who is the actual member of the cheer squad? You or your daughter? She should go and thank you for also being there.
Your husband needs to back you up that daughter committed to do this and be proud she was going. It does not matter what everybody else decided.
I'd make her go. It's a good lesson to teach her that she is committed to the team even though the others are not. I have no idea why Dad is being a twit about it but he needs to keep his mouth shut about it and stop causing problems. Why does it really matter to him? This is an obligation that was made for her team and something she should do and have fun with it. I would send one last email to the other moms and ask them to bring their daughters stating that it's a good lesson to teach team spirit and to follow through on obligations.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
I agree with you. Just because others are quitters (actually at THIS age, the PARENTS are quitters) doesn't excuse you. I tell my 4 year old this pretty often, with behavior from some of his classmates in kung fu, or soccer teammates. It's a good practice. These kinds of things won't hurt her, and they build confidence, ethics, and also make a name for herself that can carry her next season. (I went way above and beyond for soccer for 2 years, and had a pulled groin muscle and couldn't really do much of anything for senior tryouts...I showed up dressed and ready, but even though it was "technically" necessary to try out, I made the varsity team on reputation alone, because there wasn't much performing in tryouts with a pulled groin).
I'd tell dad privately to hush.
I think she should go as planned, SOMEone has to represent the team, so now it's more important than ever since the other girls bailed.
I think it is wonderful you are helping out. I think having her go is a good idea. She needs to understand this is for her, for her squad. Who knows if some person who sees the uniform and remembers getting a flier might donate money to them or sponsor some event later in the rear just from seeing the booth. As hard as it is I think, if she committed to going for sure, that she should go and enjoy it.
I think she should go. I agree with the other mother who said it doesn't matter what the other kids are doing. She has a responsibility to help out the team.
Honestly? I wouldn't force it. Because I would have done as the other parents did and not made the commitment for that weekend.
Two of my daughters are in Girl Scouts. When there's that little interest in an activity, even if it's been done every year previously for as long as time has existed, then the event is cancelled because it's not fair to put the burden of responsibility on the one child that's left. Maybe there will be more interest next year, maybe not, but this year let it go.
Besides, it's not much of a promotion if it's only the coaches there. At least a third of the girls should be there in order for the "promotion" of the squad to be of value. You'll have coaches and a single, solitary, sullen girl who is supposed to represent an entire team. Reschedule for a new event.
If you go, she should go. She is the child representative. This is part of being on the team.
so if she goes, there will be at least 1 representative of the girls there. if she doesn't, there will be none? she needs to go. thumbs down to hubby for taking a "if they don't have to why do we?" approach. not a great example to set. you do it, because it's the right thing to do. sorry dad.
at 10 she would enjoy the rides a LOT, so I would use that as a reward, she does a certain amount of time helping and then gets the same amount of time to spend $20 on rides or whatever at the fair.
Talk to your husband about how you feel in private and get him on board with you.
I would make her go. I have had numerous arguments about this same subject with my husband. He always felt like they shouldn't do things they didn't want to; I felt the opposite, esp. when it involved fulfilling a commitment, or experiencing something new, or helping others.
I always won out, and my kids are better people because of it.
You are correct. Make her go with you. And you and your daughter might have fun, too.
I agree that it won't promote the group unless happy kids are there to talk about it and demonstrate what fun it is. You should all cancel and make sure the parents are going to be on board next time. Holidays are family time for us and I would not go even if it was "required".
