Ever Feel Like

Wow, Congrats on grad school! That is a major accomplishment, especially while being a mom.
Im sorry all of these people are letting you down, but you have too much going for you to be sad. Cheer up! :)

Congratulations on your acomplishments. From experience sometimes people feel jeaulous of other's good experiences (not sure this is the case for your family...) but to answer your question, yes, many times I feel people are just trying to keep me down.
Remember to not let these acts get your self-esteem down :)
I'm sorry you are feeling sad :( even when I don't know you I'm sending you a hug and to let you know I know how you feel. Hang in there and perhaps talk to your relatives?

Hi B.---I want you to know that I care, and can relate to your problems in some areas. I still tell my daughters to: " go for the gusto in their lives"! Try not to worry about a negative reaction to your news about grad school----there could be a number of reasons for the negative reaction, but you go girl----go! Try not to let other people get you down---it is tough sometimes, but you need to continue to do the right thing, and then that is all you can do. Even relatives can hurt you---I can relate to that----I take the hurt, talk to someone close, and I find that after a few days, I can get back to my normal schedule. Try to stay involved in what makes you happy, and continue to do the right things---even if you do not get any good response---you will have done your best ! Please remember---I care!

Congrat's to you and all that you have done for yourself.
Let everyone be.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

You keep working hard.

Love on your husband for always being there for you.

Don't let it get you down.
It could just be that everyone is busy (no show to your grad party).
Congratulations, btw,
As for the renewal ceremony, I can understand that and I would not take it to heart at all.
As we get older our lives get busier and more complicated.
Try not to think of the negative side of things right away and just tell yourself that all is ok and people are super busy like you are.
You have your life, your health and your family! Consider yourself lucky and love! :)
p.s. I think people do care (for the most part) but they get busy and sometimes self involved (not always bad....just a part of life.).

sometimes ppl are just insensitve jerks you have to overlook it an just keep moving forwards-my daughter got married last month not one person in my family acknowledged any of it.ive cut them off completely.mess with me im fine been dealing with it for 51 yrs.but you mess with my kids its a different story-i know my mom would roll over in her grave if she knew this.my daughter had a great wedding alot of fun-and didnt let "family jerks" bum her out.so now neither one of my kids has anything to do with them.but its like this-you cant choose your family-but you can choose whether or not to let them disrupt your life.or to even have them in your life.

So sorry, my family is the same way. I hope you find good friends to support you and move on.

At the moment, humanity is in a great purge. All those people who you feel are against you have some serious soul-work they need to do. Doesn't mean they don't like you or want to acknowledge you--they're just too busy working on themselves and their own lives to care or notice anyone else.

You have to love YOU. If you like yourself, you've made yourself a good life, have a family (whether it's the one you grew up with, or a husband and kids), have hobbies or interests that keep you entertained and use your abilities to the best they can be used--who cares? Yes, it's nice to have others acknowledge us, and I do think it's rude for people not to show up when invited, or to at least send an RSVP, but in the end, only you and your attitude and feelings and what not is going to depict how your life is and how things are going to go for you.

You do what you need to do, what makes you happy. Don't worry or fret or care what others might think. Nine times out of ten, they're too busy worrying about their own life to worry about yours. And if they don't like you going to grad school/aren't happy for you--they're probably jealous. Maybe they want to, too, but can't take the time or afford to.

There are always going to be people who put you down; whether you let them take you down with them into their pit of doom or pettiness or self-loathing is up to you. I would personally worry about myself and my life and what I want to do and accomplish with it--I wouldn't worry about those who like to wallow in self-pity. I have too much to do and accomplish to let them drag me down with them.

Just my two cents worth.

First of all congrats on all you have accomplished! You deserve it!

Secondly, I'm right there with you. You know my youngest brother got married in another country. Did the whole beach wedding thing. I have 6 siblings. All were invited. I was not. I wasn't invited to her bridal party. I wasn't invited to the reception in town. Why? My mother says it was an oversight. An oversight. . . Seriously. She acts like I should understand that everyone just forgot me. Yeah!

Not to mention I'm on everyone's facebook. I also have 16 nephews and nieces and a great niece and nephew. I got to see the photo's to my great nephews birthday party on there. We weren't invited. I didn't ask why. There is no excuse we all live in the same city. They just choose not to invite me and act like it's an oversight when anyone asks. My big brother did!

I've done nothing to anyone. I don't get into any drama. I'm not a bragger or anything. I'm not loud and obnoxious. I don't drink, they do though. There is no logical reason. For some reason I'm just forgettable. It isn't even that it bothers me for me but when I see that my great nephew had a party and I even babysat his mother till she was old enough to sit herself... and my children weren't invited and they'd love the bouncy house... It hurts. I know exactly how you feel and I really can't give you any advice. I wish just like you I could figure out what my sin is.

If you think those around you love you, admire you, and want to be around you ~ this will hold true. If you anticipate those around you being against you ~ the world will be against you. I don't know if it's possible to change a glass half empty person into a glass half full person?? Face the world with confidence and a belief that people are generally good people and you will be a lot happier. If you do feel hurt by others, address the situation delicately and immediately letting others know how you feel without attacking them. Many times I have had family and friends not supportive of my choices....but I stood firm on my grounds of what I wanted to do and in the end people have respected me for my decisions. Good luck working things out with the family and grad school.

Nevermind. Years ago there was a famous psychology book called "What you Think of me is None of my Business.
Maybe your family had a roll for you like family care giver and you have broken that idea. Go to grad school. Make a real career for yourself. Live life to the fullest.
How many alcoholics are there in your family. How many are religious nuts? Those are factors that figure in when you are rejected by them.

Super huge congratulations!

Strangely, when we improve ourselves, those closest to us can be threatened by it and react negatively. They may actually be happy for you, but deep inside where their crappy self esteem lives, they fear that you are becoming better than they are, or that you think less of them. They fear that you will feel differently about them, and that the relationship will change. And if they've never gone beyond a certain point educationally or job wise or earnings wise, either themselves or in their family history, they also may not get how much it means. It does suck, but it may not be "on purpose".

You may need to just figure out who the people are in your family and friends who DO get it and give you the support and encouragement you'd like. You may have to find new friends, too. That's ok.

Hi B.,
I did things "out of order" too and graduated from college and went to grad school AFTER I had a child and was in a solid relationship. I think it's just less of a big deal to everyone else if you do those things later, when you already have a family. It shouldn't be that way (because it's harder and thus MORE of an accomplishment), but it's true. From my family, only my parents came to my graduation from college and grad school (not any of my 3 siblings or other family.) While I was in undergrad, my mom tried to discourage me from planning to get a doctorate- she suggested maybe I should just do a 2 yr technician degree. No one else in my family had anything to say about my education plans, supportive or otherwise (it was not in their thought processes, as another poster suggested)...

Don't take it personally. You're not doing any of this for any of them anyways, right? Your accomplishments should make you feel proud without the need for others' approval.

In terms of the renewal ceremony- you didn't give many details, or how you are related, so there could be any number of things going on. I will say that maybe they just wanted something REALLY small-scale. I invited ONLY my parents to my WEDDING because I got married during spring break of my first year of full-time grad school, right after exams, and I simply did not feel capable of dealing with a big event. (We had to get married when we did because my husband's visa was expiring.) Our non-traditional ceremony took place at a bed and breakfast near where I was going to school, which was out of state for my family anyhow. We did plan a celebration of our marriage later the same year, at my parents' house during summer break, and none of my siblings were able to come, which was disappointing to me at the time.

But again, you can't take stuff like this personally. You don't need the approval of others to know that you are on the right track and doing the right thing with your life. Family is family no matter what they do or don't do, and love doesn't make demands.

Congratulations on your graduation :)

Congrats to you for furthering your education! That is a huge commitment, but so worth it. It is easy to feel like people are against you. I used to feel that way sometimes, especially with family members of all people! My husband has made me realize there could be a multitude of reasons why people act the way they do-and none of them have absolutely nothing to do with me. It could be they are jealous, envious, or feel inferior. Sometimes people are just caught up in their own lives that they don't even realize all the good things happening in yours. In the case with the vow renewal, maybe they didn't invite a lot of people for financial reasons. Just because we perceive their reaction one way, may not necessarily be the correct one.
At any rate, getting an education is ALWAYS a good thing and if anyone sees you as showing off or gloating then that is their character flaw-not yours. If it is really bothering you then you need to talk to your family and tell them how you feel. At least you would know where they are coming from, but most likely they aren't trying to single you out to make you feel bad. Why would you want to associate with them if that were truly the case? Good luck and congrats again!
A.

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Yep. But remember that the economy sucks bad right now. When folks are wrapped up in their own problems, they often appear insensitive, or selfish, or "jerks." It's most likely NOT about you. When your world is falling apart (lost a job/ the governor and legislators are telling you that you're a leech on society/ car troubles/ gas prices/ food prices/ etc), it's hard not to appear self-centered.

Yes, when bad things happen, people should learn how to not focus on themselves all the time. But it's a new skill that many people are now just learning.

Take a high road. If you're lucky enough to have this as your only problem, then do some nice things for people who may be really hurting right now.

Hope you get into grad school!