I received a high school graduation announcement for the child of a lady that I know casually. We are not close and honestly haven't had a conversation with her in over a year.
I am happy for their family, but I am not quite sure what to do. Do I send a card, a card with gift (monetary) or just do nothing? I feel really odd about the whole thing.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks for all the advice. I think I will just send a card to congratulate the graduate. I know this family is very "well off" but I really don't know her child at all. But happy for them because I agree it is a huge accomplishment. I just didn't know how to take it - as if it was just a throw out for $$$ or an acknowledgement of success. I am hoping for the latter. :-)
Graduation announcements should not be confused with invoices. They are simply letting you know that their child graduated. If you feel moved to mark this occasion with a gift of some sort, do so. If you would like to send the graduate a card or letter congratulating him/her, do that. If you would like to do nothing that is fine as well.
I think that a card would be the route I would go.
Good luck!
It is just an announcement not an invite to the graduation party or graduation ceremony. My guess is that that lady is very very proud of her child and wants everyone to know.
As a result, it makes sense to just send a card since it seems just like she is sharing the news with everyone she knows.
Send a card only. Some people just send graduation announcements to everyone who's address they have, they probably didn't actually put much thought into sending one to YOU specifically. Honestly, those announcements frequently come in sets of 50 or 100, so you just send 'em out to as many people as you can think of!
My reaction to that graduation announcement would have been: "Oh how nice, so and so's kid is graduating. How lovely. I'll have to congratulate her next time I see her." Then that announcement would have gone right into the recycle bin. Had it been a close friend or neighbor, I would have sent a small gift or gift card. Had I actually been invited to a grad party, I would have gotten a quite nice/elaborate gift or a more valuable gift card. Had it been a relative, I would have gotten them a car (no, I'm just kidding, of course)...but a relative would get something pretty darn nice.
Are you actually invited to the graduation or is it just a simple announcement? If you go, then yes a gift (or money) would be appropriate, otherwise I think a congratulation cards is enough. She is not a friend.
My 2 cents.
If you where ever close to the graduate a card is a nice gesture, but if you were only friends with the mother, and loosely at that, it is fine to ignore it.
Having two children that have graduated from HS.... let me give my two cents. Some people go way overboard with the announcements. In my opinion, they should go to family (grandparents, aunts and uncles and any other family that you are close to). But I know others who have sento out 50+ announcements. Though we did not send to our neighbors other neighbors have sent to us. Even without announcements, many dropped off gifts and cards for our kids with well wishes.
Though not a solicitation of a gift, if this is a coworker or a neighbor and you have invited her to your wedding, a baby shower, your child's first birthday party etc. this should be viewed the same and a gift should be given.
I don't even think a card is necessary if you only know her casually (do you know her child at all?!) and haven't spoken for over a year. Yes, sounds as if they just went through her address book. I wouldn't send anything.
Send a nice card.
If you want to send a gift, send a gift card for Target.
You are under no obligation to do anything. If you want send a card. That's it.
I would get a .99 card from Wal-mart and send just to acknowledge the announcement. No need for and elaborate card or a gift of any kind.
Sometimes kids genuinely dont know how far out in the aquainance circle to send them. They come in a huge pack, you have a ton and graduating is pretty exciting. Presumably all t hose cards are for telling everyone about your milestone.
Where i grew up, there were a number of older ladies who lived near us. My mom wanted me to give them to all of them- they had seen (and heard) me growing up most of my life, altho i wouldnt say i really knew them. She thought they would want to know, and they werent going to see me around much anymore (or hear me peeling into the driveway ;) ) she meant it as a nice gesture to include them in my growing up, and i think most of them did feel an attachment to us after seeing us grow up our whole lives. but my leaving may actuallly have been cause for them to celebrate the quieter neighborhood! ;) ahaha.
in your case, i think a card is nice but not required. a gift would be too much for such a casual aquaintance.
as a side note, if i feel like an invite or announcement is just fishing for a gift, then i am happy to NOT oblige. ;)
If you were close in years past and had some interaction with the graduate, at most a card would be appropriate. If you had no relationship through the years with this family then don't feel obligated to send a card. For our family it was our way of announcing our children's good fortune and accomplishments and we enclosed a note, no gift please. They received cards of congratulations and some close friends and relatives did send gifts, which were greatly appreciated and unexpected.
Don't feel odd. Sometimes folks just want to shout from the roof tops when good things happen and graduation is a great thing!!
Sometimes I think my mom thought we'd never survive our childhoods, either that or she put up with a lot of "your kid's never going to _______" from over achieving relatives. She get SO excited about graduations/marriages/babies that she goes way over the top and would rent the town crier if she could.
MY SON'S GRADUATING FROM HIGHSCHOOL... SEE I TOLD YOU HE COULD DO IT!!! MY DAUGHTER'S GETTING MARRIED, AND HE'S NOT A LOSER!!!
Sigh. Where's the faith?
She sends out notices to e.v.e.r.y.b.o.d.y. Not a gift thing. Bragging rights. Very definately just "sharing the joy". She doesn't expect anything back, it just makes her happy to send them. And then she over thinks it and sends even more out, afraid to hurt someone's feeling for being "left out" in her papering of the city.
I love my mum. But I'm hoping this trend is generational, and not hormonal.
I think the best thing to do would be to send a card. No gift. I find it odd that she would send you an annoucement to begin with.
My daughter says I'm supposed to send money. I'm torn, because those people have more money than I do, and I didn't send cards asking anyone else for money, so I don't know what to do. So I have the same question. Ladies?
I sometimes wonder if people (either the parents or the child) are just trolling for gifts. Many people will send a card with money in it, so, "Wow, I'll send out this whole pack of 100 announcements!!! Where's our address book, mom?"
My husband and I get announcements from remote acquaintances who know we run a business (a VERY tiny non-profit) and assume we must be doing well. Most of those families make considerably more than we do. We just ignore such invitations – we don't want to encourage a "gimmee" mentality.
a card is just fine, especially if you don't know them that well. That is really strange that she sent you something in the mail. Honestly if you haven't talked to them in a year, I wouldn't send anything. It isn't like you are friends with her. perhaps the daughter just went through her mom's address book and sent out announcements. How tacky.
If you can afford to send a card, definitely send one. We get so many announcements for cousins, 2nd cousins, third cousins, etc...I could go broke just sending cards. I don't think that the child will care either way, but it might make a difference to the mother for sure. I wouldnt feel the need to send money, a card would be fine.
