I've been telling my daughter that I would start giving her an allowance if she started doing her chores (without help, i.e. her grandmother picking up her room for her) on a regular basis. However, she has yet to really do the work. I think this is because I haven't really committed to a payment and payday. Now I don't ask much from her: clean her room, wash her dish and put it in the dishwasher, feed/give water to the dog. Do I give each chore a monetary value, making it possible for her to still get paid if she does some but not all chores? (That feels like its sending the wrong message. It's not like a job would pay her for doing half her job...) If I pay her one flat rate, how many days in a row without doing a chore do I accept before revoking her allowance for the week? How many chores? Just one and done? Does she get warnings? I only get paid once a month, do I save money to pay her every week or do I pay her one lump sum at the beginning of the month? Maybe I could make a chart so she could see how much she's earned....I could really use some advice! Please Help!
I'm kinda lazy, so I'm going to post a link to a previous question that was similar, because I don't feel like typing my response again ;) I hope it's helpful to you.
https://www.mamapedia.com/questions/13169682755933765633
It's been a LONG time since I've paid an allowance. :)
We told our kids that they were responsible for keeping their rooms clean, helping with laundry, trash, recyclables, taking care of the pets. That was their job to help keep the family up and operational.
We gave them money that they earned for doing other things like washing the car, ironing clothes, etc.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702304432704577...
http://peaceinyourhome.com/should-parents-pay-kids-allowa...
google and see what you come up with. Age and responsibilities is a good searching word.
Everyone has their own take on this, so here's mine.
I didn't give my kids an allowance for basic chores (mostly picking up their own stuff and cleaning up their own messes) because I felt like 1) we ALL take care of our things around the house without getting paid and 2) kids don't need money
Now, when they got old enough to start wanting the extras in life (pricey video games, name brand shoes they didn't really need, etc.) I would give them specific jobs to earn money, like cleaning out the car or garage, pulling weeds, stuff like that. When they were 11, 12 years old they starting baby and pet sitting in the neighborhood to earn money.
ETA: also one of the downsides to paying kids for regular chores is that they will often decide they don't care about the money and just not do them
I would not "entice" her. I would tell her what she needs to do in order to earn money.
There's a difference between chores and other things to help her earn money.
Kids need to learn the value of money and they also need to learn that they MUST EARN IT. It is NOT just handed to them.
She's 9 years old. Create a contract with her. Keep it simple.
You don't revoke her allowance. You pay for what she EARNED.
There is a difference between chores and allowance.
Chores are what are required to help the household "move" or "stay afloat" as one person can't be expected to do it all.
Allowance is something that is earned. My boys get paid for doing other things that help me out. When I have a full day? They get paid to do things that help me, like take care of the younger brother (2 are driving now!! YIKES!!) and can do things like run to the store for me (they have a debit card that I transfer money into so they can get gas or go shopping).
Every household is different.
keeping her room clean, washing the dishes, walking the dogs are NOT allowance things in our home. They are what is required to help the household "RUN".
head over to pinterest for ideas on how to organize the chores, and for ways to pay her for doing them. i have been checking into this myself as my child has asked me if he could earn money for helping around the house. i have not yet decided on a system, but i am getting great ideas from pinterest
I think you're better off separating chores from allowance. What happens if she doesn't want the money? Are you still content to have her not do the chores? Probably not. Chores are part of being a responsible family member. So, you're better off tying them to privileges which you know she will want on a regular basis: screen time, rides to activities and friends' houses, and so on. If she can't go to something, then make it clear it was HER choice to stay home. I'd make a chart so you no longer have the responsibility to nag. She can check things off - and you can verify that the job was done. Be sure some of the jobs are for the public spaces and the whole family, not just her room.
I would use allowance as a way to start teaching financial responsibility. We insisted that it be divided into "spend now" and "save up for something you want" and "save in the bank and you can't touch it" and "charity" - we did 30-30-30-10% on these. We found a kid's bank that had divisions in it and a guidebook for parent and child. Our son could spend on pretty much anything and if he wasted it, oh well, he learned. The charity was something he could choose but he had to give to something, and we taught him to evaluate good charities vs. bogus ones or those who give too little of the donations to their services/constituents. I think waiting a full month is way too long for a kid. I'd do it weekly so they learn to save and so they have the temptation to spend and need to learn to either give in or defer it.
I really think that you are overthinking this.
She needs to do chores not to get paid, but because she is part of the household and everyone in the household has a job to do. If you are wanting to give her an allowance, then wait until she is older and more established in her having the habit of helping out.
Right now, getting paid is not all that important to her. If it were, she would be looking for things to do in order to earn money. Perhaps you pay for everything she wants. Perhaps she doesn't care about shopping that much.
At 9 years old, she may not really be mature enough to do chores without being asked or to do them on her own. "Clean up your room" is far too broad a statement for her. She needs clear direction. "Dirty clothes in the hamper, books up on the shelf, dolls in their place, toys in the toy box", etc. If her room is too full of stuff so that it's an overwhelming task for her, then it's time to pare down so that it's easier for her.
It's okay to remind her over and over to wash her dish and put it in the dishwasher and take care of the dog. You don't need to give her warnings. You don't need to give her enticements. You just tell her to do it every time until you see that she is starting to remember to do it and internalizes being part of the household. That's when you should give her an allowance.
Our experience has been the same as Mamazita's.
This question was on here not that long ago. You might want to search for it. Lots of good advice given (just a few weeks back).
Our kids at 9 helped out around the house (as all members do) and then if they wanted extra, they did odd jobs (age appropriate).
That way, you figure out where their strengths are too. One of ours now mows lawns, etc.
I would separate the two. One does not get paid for chores, one does them as part of the family. Make the chores an expected part of her routine, and the reward for doing them on time is that she gets to enjoy other privileges. For my younger boys, this means no PlayStation on Saturday until their laundry is started or no TV on Sunday until the vacuuming is done. When my older kids were tweens/teens, they had until 8PM Sunday night to finish their household chores and if they didn't do them they weren't allowed out the following weekend.
An allowance would then be totally separate. You can let her know that she won't be getting an allowance until she can demonstrate that she's mature and responsible enough to have one, and part of that means doing her chores. Until then, spending and saving money will continue to be at your discretion and under your control. If she wants the ability to save money and decide how it's spent, then the allowance will kick in after she's showing responsibility in other areas like chores.
this is such an individual thing. every family handles it differently. some people feel strongly that chores are part of family life and should not have a monetary reward attached, others that it's essential to create a mature attitude toward finance.
i think you're WAY over-complicating things. rather than obsess over every possible chore-paying scenario, start with your own already established parenting philosophy.
have you worked WITH her for long enough for her to thoroughly understand your expectations? ie are you both on the same page as to what 'clean your room' entails, whether or not you pre-rinse your dishes, and how often the dog gets fed?
is she a generally pleasant and amenable family member or are there constant kerfuffles over how your family functions?
are there things she wants to do that are beyond your standard budget and would incentivize her?
we all sat down together and devised a chart and a job jar. every sunday we'd pick our chores from the jar and put them on the chart.
we tried tying the chores to allowance, and the allowance got withdrawn (or did it just get snipped a bit for each forgotten chore? i can't remember now!) if they didn't pull their weight. that was really hard for them, though, so we moved it to having rewards for having a completed chore chart in a week, and left the allowance alone.
sometimes you have to tweak as you go.
but i strongly suggest that you way un-complicate it. wrap too many rules around it all and you lose the life lesson. even if your child is older, KISS still applies.
khairete
S.
