Embellishing Stories

I don't call them out, at least never in front of others. Fact is, that while I may recall the situation one way, they may recall it another way. A detail I may have forgotten they could remember and that could sound like an embellishment to me. We all forget way more then we realize, and we often don't notice things that other may. Also, different people experience things in different ways. Just because their recollection does not match mine exactly does not mean mine is right and theirs is wrong, we are just remembering it differently.

Yes, I've known people like that and I've refrained from getting involved in correcting their stories. After all it is their story and their relationship with the people who are listening. None of that is any of my business.

However, if the story teller were my husband or my children or a close friend, talking to them about it would be my business because it affects my relationship with them. I'd tell them in private, using I statements how I feel about the way they tell their stories. I would hope to understand better why they were doing this and participate with them in finding a way to change either the way they tell stories or the way I felt about the way they tell stories.

Sure I have known some people like that. I just roll my eyes and take what they're saying with a grain of salt. If they need to pump themselves up or embellish the mundane to make themselves more interesting that's their problem. I certainly wouldn't "call them out" on it, I have no time or interest in being sucked into other peoples' drama!

It depends, I tend to add to a story to make it more interesting to tell. Can't imagine anyone would know since it was mostly, I was thinking.... when pretty much in the moment I was reacting and the thoughts were retrospective.

Then there are the lies of omission. You tell a story and leave out details that don't cast the story in the light you want. I will call people out on those.

Then there are outright lies.

If I am to call someone out I do it privately because the person tends to be more receptive, less defensive if there is no audience. If they continue I will, dripping with sarcasm, make them look the fool in front of whoever they are speaking.

Most of the time though I just roll my eyes and walk away. I hate drama and this stuff is full of drama!

Are you talking about adults, or kids? In a kid I think it's mostly okay.

In an adult, it depends on the person. I know a couple of people who are natural-born storytellers, and they keep their listeners enthralled with stories that you know are probably not altogether true, but they are so fascinating that it's okay.

But if you mean the type of person who isn't particularly interesting but embellishes stories anyway, usually to make themselves more sympathetic or grandiose -- that kind of embellishment is a turnoff but no, I don't call them out on it.

It has been said that "perception is reality". So your perception of a situation may vary from that of another, even though you both witnessed the same thing.

If you have a problem with someone and do not want to lose them in your life? Invite them over for tea or coffee and talk it out.

There are people who do use situations to their advantage.
There are people who really do not know how to tell a story without making it sound better, more dramatic, more anything just to get attention or people talking.

eta: AKmom is right - in some cases it is perception. As Jo is right as well...calling them out in private is better...
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yeah. I have known people who claim "victim" and embellish the story to make them appear a tad bit better....then when people ask questions or for proof? They can't produce it....so people start wondering about their stories....

There are people who tell lies about others - with their purported "truth" - and eventually - the truth comes out and when it does - those that told the lies claim they never said that, don't recall saying that, or blame someone else because they heard it from someone they "trusted".

Do I call people out on it? Yep. I'll do it publicly as well as privately. Depends upon who it is an the situation.

If you have people like that in your life? You need to "chip them away" - all it will do is cause you heartache, doubt and pain. you know the real story. Stick with it. Stay away from those who love to lie about others...or worse yet...use the lies to build themselves up and have no remorse about what they have done.

Good luck!

I can think of two right off the bat. Flaky Neighborhood Friend and one of my SILs. Ah, good times. If there are a lot of people around, I don't really call them out but I might "gently and politely" correct or adjust. If we're alone I'll outright call them out, but I'll do it jokingly and kindly.

All story tellers embellish the story . . . or at least all the story tellers I know.

I always let it go. If it does no harm, who cares. So the fish was really 8 inches long and weighed 16 ounces and in the story it was 18 inches long and weighed three pounds. So what!?! When it comes to stories . . . especially fishing stories . . . the first "liar" doesn't stand a chance.

As a police officer, I made it a requirement to interview all "witnesses". I usually found no more than 50% saw the same crime the same way.

Good luck to you and yours.

'Tall tales' is a type of story and some people just can't resist telling whoppers.
It's kind of like tales of 'the fish that got away'.
With each telling the fish gets bigger and bigger till it's an unbelievable size but it 'got away' so there's no actual proof of exactly how big the fish actually was.
What difference does it make whether you believe it or not?
Never let the truth get in the way of telling a great story!
Just listen and enjoy it!

There is a book out there with a personality test in it called "Personality Plus". One of the personalities is called Sanguine and they are embellishers. The people in my life that embellish I tell them that they are sanguine. They all know that they do that. If you are good natured about it they will fess up and giggle with you.

Yep. The tall tales made taller, are not worth a sideways glance, most times. I've known those who make funny stories funnier by the way they tell them. I dont always believe that fish is that big;)

Then there are pathological liars. My experience with BPD mil has taught me a lot about those. There is a reason those alarm bells go off around them. Stay away. You can't change them and if they turn on you, they know no boundaries of what they will say.

Sure, we all do it. I had a friend who was a math doctoral student and she said I always exaggerated 50% when I was telling a story.

I started noticing when I was telling something that I did exactly that. So I started trying to catch myself. It was hard at first but now I try to always make sure that I can back up what I am saying when telling about an event.

My mom does this constantly. She loves being the center of attention and will embellish her story to make other people look worse or more laughable. Never herself! In her stories she is always golden and correct. Over time she truly remembers her story to be the truth and will argue with you about it. I call her on it sometimes...it does not make one bit of difference. It's extremely annoying. You know...over time she starts driving everyone around her completely nuts (she's very self centered) so that sad thing is, she has no close friends bc she eventually drives people away. She has NO self awareness about a lot of things...she is seldom introspective.

Yes. I had a friend who would do this so often that when something really neat did happen, nobody believed him. DH and I would always tell each other, "Well, that's what C says. So it's probably only half true." We would ignore anything that didn't truly impact us. If it mattered, we could talk to him in private. He was also known for doing things twice as big as necessary (made so much food for an event we had to throw a ton of it away) so part of it was probably his own perception. C never did anything simply.

Oh Yeah! It is like, the world according to...

In one incident she was a bystander. But in her telling she played the main role. Funny thing is, I was there when it happened and also when she spun the tale.

No, I do not call people out on this (Yes I know more than one). It can get annoying but maybe that is how they recall what happened. It is not worth the bad feelings I can inflict with a confrontation. This is when I get to be a duck and let all their BS roll off my back lol.

ha ha funny post. Cute.

I have enjoyed reading these responses. I have known of some of these people, though no one immediately comes to mind. No, I do not embellish stories, though I might add my thoughts for effect. It's clear that I am not changing the story. When I was a girl, my aunt would lie on me. She was but a few years older and wanted to be "in charge". When I "disobeyed" her or otherwise went against anything that she would say/do, she would embellish and outright fabricate to someone who would believe her. I learned early in life to recount actual facts and not confuse them with my thoughts or feelings or even just my perception. I might say something like, "Three minutes after you left, she walked up and stood over me and said.... I said.... She said blah-blah two times and then raised her voice and said it again. Then, she hit me on my leg with her hand. I picked up my shoe and hit her back, on her arm." It's still how I tell a story. Somehow, her version always had me jumping right to throwing my shoes at her. "As soon as you left, she threw her shoes at me!" I really didn't want to sound like that.

That storytelling technique has been around since the beginning of time. Where do you think the bible came from. Greek mythology?, Paul Bunyan? No biggie...