Eliminate a Night Feeding

Is there a reason she needs a bedtime at this point? I would consider 11 pm to be her bedtime, so you are doing a late evening feeding - this may help psychologically (we bottle fed but considered 11 to be 'bedtime' only because after it we went to bed -DS pretty much woke and slept on his own schedule ). Maybe you can do the last feeding just a little later and maybe add solids at that time. That might make the next feeding later and possibly move the 5 am to 6 am which would make it the start of the day. I think if she is waking, you have to feed her.

im glad you are so in tune with your child's needs!

chances are you can reduce the amount of time she needs to be up by keeping lights low, not talking to her while doing the feeding, and even laying down with her; even if its the floor in your room. keeping her in the same room as you is a good idea; babies just like to have their mamas near, and having her in your room might help with that. :) our son was in our room (his crib was there too) until he was nearly 3, and he still comes into our room half way through the night. but ill remind you that he sleeps like a dream and has never had issues going to bed or going to sleep. :) thats the positive side.

she just sounds kinda like my son; will not accept substitutes for the real thing. its exhausing, but you will get through this. go to bed an hour earlier if you have to. take a nap when your kids nap (hopefully the older one will nap for you?) just do the best you can. the answer is likely already within you, you just have to trust that you truly DO have the specific instincts for your children. ;) just follow your heart. this distraction will only last a little while in the grand scheme of things. :)

I still nurse my 2 year old during the night. I prop myself up in the bed so that I am reclining, he nurses for a few minutes and then back to sleep he goes, as do I. I have mastered this since this is my third child and they all nursed during then night until they weaned. Getting up with her is probably what wakes her up to the point that she won't go back to sleep for an hour and a half. Try this and see if that doesn't help.

I would just go to bed earlier myself. She'll probably eliminate one of the feedings herself soon.

I have one question is she eating any solids during the day? And how do you thing your milk supply is? At nine months I would think that she would not need the 2am feeding and would be able to go until 6am. So from 11pm until 6am if she is getting enough during the day. You may want to pump after she eats during the day to increase your milk supply so that when she nurses she will be getting more each feeding and may be-able to go longer at night. I would also nurse before giving solids but still give the solids this would be to keep your milk supply up. Weight wise how is she doing on her growth curve?
She may be waking up due to some outside influences and not because she is hungry. I would make sure that her room in a comfortable temp and that she had some white noise.
Sorry I know I asked more questions than I answered.

My initial thought was to tell you to let her cry it out but then I read your last line. Hmmm. With my son he started sleeping 8 hours a night around 2 months and then by 3 months was sleeping 12 hours. But around 5 months or so he started waking up again wanting to eat. I love my sleep and knew that he was clearly able to go through the night without eating so we let him cry it out. It lasted a couple of nights and then he never did it again. I know that does not really help you much since you don't want to let her cry it out but just thought I would share what we did anyway. Good luck!

I have a 10 month old daughter who goes down at 8 and is up at 11-12 for a feeding right before i go to bed , then she wakes up around 2 or 3 but i turn her music box on , give her her binky and her lovey ( a little silky blanket ) and she soothes her self back to sleep, sometimes she cries or whines but its always less then ten minutes then shes back out. Then she doesnt get up again till around 7 or 8 am for another feeding . The ferber method has worked for many moms I know and if you go in every 3-5 mins to just let them know your still there it helps them feel secure and they will eventually just realize that they have to soothe themselves back to sleep . It does not make you a bad mom letting them cry for a few minutes , and if you dont and you constantly go in there when they cry or make a peep they get spoiled fast! I learned that i had made this mistake with my oldest who is 9 yrs old and decided to not do it again with my youngest . Its worked amazingly and I am so glad I did !

If you enjoyed co-sleeping but are concerned with the new logistics of having a mobile child you could try side caring the crib to your bed. That way she still has her own place to sleep and 3 sides of the crib to keep her contained but you don't have to get out of bed for that early morning nursing session.