For Reese's past two birthday parties I have bought terracotta pots and either used stickers or puff paint to put each child's name on it, then I fill it with different stuff. For her first birthday I went all out and hand made flower lollipops, and used that green, stringy grass like stuff as the grass. Hard work! For her third birthday I just did the sticker thing, filled them up with dollar store treasures (pencils, cute pads of paper, bracelets, matchbox cars...) and for the filling used the Jelly Belly belly flops (super cheap jelly beans.) The second year was much easier, I think it cost $20 and took less then an hour to complete.
As for the presents, good luck. You can always say the donate to a charity, but most of the time people will just take that as a free pass to not get a gift or donate, or they just show up with a gift anyways. So, my solution is to let her open her presents with the help of all of her guests (cousins) and I only let her take out maybe one or two. The rest I put in mommy's magic closet and pull out as we become bored with the toys that we have, rainy weeks, or use as prizes. The only thing I wish that I would have done is as I give her a new toy have her donate an old toy, but, you live and you learn. I do this with all gift-able holidays. And candy holidays? I still have 90% of the Easter candy above my fridge, and 100% of the Halloween candy.
Good luck!