My daughter is very self sufficient. She is in Pre-K. Her teacher always tells me how confidant and bright she is and she gets along well with others. BUT, she refuses to get up in the morning to dress her self. I am basically doing most of it while she is asleep. I also have a four month old so this is becoming very frustrating and time consuming. I am open to any suggestions. Thanks ladies!
I want to add that I am in no way trying to make her take care of herself. I know my responsibilities as a mom, but at 3.5 and attending pre-k in a montesorri setting, independence is encouraged. It would make things easier for me, but also help her in the long run as well. Thanks for all of the responses.
How about if you wake her a bit earlier with a glass of OJ? This usually kick starts the brain. I am no good at waking up either! Good luck.
She is 3. This is your job to help her get dressed. Its your job to help her up in the mornings. Relax and enjoy her while she is little and still needs you.
Is she a slow waker? I am a "bounce out of bed in the morning" person, but my son takes forever to wake up. I dress him (he's 2.5) as he's waking up. Maybe you want to have breakfast and then get her dressed?
If she is doing everything else independently, I'd guess this might be a little regression thing from the new baby. Just let it go-- at 4 or 5 she won't let you help at all! :-)
My daughter is 4, and she has her mornings as well... lol
She is perfectly capable of dressing herself, but some mornings I get the "I can't do it... I need help" lol
As some others have said, getting enough sleep & being involved in choosing the clothes can help. I have noticed that if my daughter happens to wake up on her own before I have to wake her up myself, she is more likely to be in a better mood & dress herself. She has a TV in her room & will turn it on in the mornings when she wakes up (rather than wake Mommy & Daddy! haha).
Also, sometimes I tell her to pick out something to wear. Or, I might pick out some pants & then show her 2 shirts to choose from. And sometimes she picks the whole outfit down to the socks and nothing matches! haha But at that point I'm just happy she's dressed!
Our kids are a pain in the morning as well. My husband has to do the dressing most mornings as I have to leave much earlier, and he gets easily frustrated.
There have been some nights where we've dressed the kids in what they're wearing the next day to make it easier.
It sounds like your daughter is like ours - likes to sleep in late and has a hard time waking up. Our son is the opposite - much more of an early bird.
At almost 4, our son is getting really interested in getting himself dressed and having the sense of accomplishment doing it. I'd continue to encourage that. If possible, I'd make sure everything else is done in the morning, and I mean everything (including having items in the car for the day) and have that as the last thing you need to do before leaving the house.
Wish I had better advice - just a little empathy.
Good luck!
Hi, F.:
Don't you think that the demands placed on your 3 year old is excessive?
Just want to share.
D.
I have had this problem with my son, but it has gradually gotten better. Velcro shoes and elastic waists helped him be more independant. On weekends he could do it himself, but on school days he was too sleepy and not fast enough. In pre-k, I would dress him and carry him down the stairs. The next year, I would still do everything for him, but I refused to carry him anymore. The next year, I would put his socks and underwear on him, but he had to do his own shirt and pants. Now in 2nd grade, I ask him the night before what color of shirt he wants to wear, and I put the clothes out on a hanger. Most days I'm still there supervising, but if we use the alarm clock, he gets himself dressed.
I started my kids by letting them pick out their own clothes. They maybe mismatched and not the most fashionable choices, but they are more likely to put them on if they are excited about the outfit they picked out. Then I told them they could ask me for help with 1 thing (or 2 depending on their abilities). So if they asked me to put on their shirt for them, then that was it. I expected them to do the rest. My 5 year old now does everything herself and my 4 year old does most of it (he still needs help with buttons and shoe laces). I also have a 4 month old, so I understand the craziness when trying to get everyone ready and out the door. Good Luck.
Is she getting enough sleep? If so, then you might need to wake her earlier so that she is "awake" when it's time to get dressed. It takes ME a very looooong time to wake up in the morning, so I guess I understand.
Hi F.! Start by having her choose/lay out her clothes the night before as part of her bedtime ritual. Limit her choices to two outfits and have her help you put them neatly where she can get to them in the morning including shoes & socks. You may want to consider either putting her to bed earlier or getting her up eariler as well. Try buying her a inexpensive alarm clock of her own; you can find them for under $10 just about anywhere. My girls had a battery-powered Barbie clock when they were little to help them get up in the mornings and they loved it! It made them feel like "big girls". She is almost 4 and she should be getting up and getting dressed with just a little help from Mom or Dad. But she won't do it untill you insist that she does! Best wishes.
Hi F.,
Recently I was speaking with a therapist and vented my frustration to her about my son not being able to dress himself yet. He is almost 4. I told her how I've showed him 100 times over how to take his clothes off and put others on, all to no avail. He just won't/can't do it! I was ready to pull my hair out, what a simple task right! Wrong...she said that my standards are way too high. It is hard for them to get motivated to do the task and sometimes they just can't figure it out. Wow! I was shocked...I didn't think it was that big of a deal to have him dress himself.
I've since stopped expecting my son to get himself dressed and allow myself extra time to dress him...I still encourage him to do it, but if he doesn't get done I don't make a big deal out of it. Life is a lot smoother with us doing it this way.
My first thought is that your daughter is not getting enough sleep! this is an easy theory for you to test (and you may have already tried).
But if you are certain that is not the case...I know some kids are heavy sleepers for sure, and you could try waking her a bit earlier to give her time to reach a more conscious state so that she can function on her own.
Also try putting aromatic foods that she likes near her, and it may pull her into reality so she can eat. =)
I used to babysit a cute little girl (5 ish) who was such a heavy sleeper her mom told me she would literally fall asleep while using the toilet in the mornings! haha
