I Need a Trick to Get My 4 Year Old to Dress Herself!

When my now 26 yr old started that at age 4, I plopped him in his carseat in his jammies and carried him into school, set him down, and said goodbye. He went the day in jammies and never did it again :)

I think that 4 year olds generally like to drag their feet and are VERY easily distracted. This used to drive me CRAZY with my son. Then one day, my husband told my son they were racing and whoever got dressed first (including having shoes on) was the winner for the day. This worked like MAGIC. They race every single day! And every day, my son hurriedly takes out his clothes, throws them on, puts on his shoes and socks and declares "I WIN!". It is GREAT. Sometimes he says I'm not playing today - usually if he doesn't feel well or something is wrong. He'll go right back to it the next day - and he is over 5 now.

Perhaps you can try racing her? BTW, the prize for winning is a kiss and hug from baby brother so I think he is really in it for the competitive factor (since he can get a hug and smooch any time from his adoring brother).

does she pick out her own clothes? that might help. also maybe letting her ride to school in her pj's (have her clothes ready so when she - hopefully!- wants them, she can put them on in the car) might do the trick.

just one more thought - spend some one on one time with her. play up what a good big girl she is. sounds like a rough time in her life right now. is it such a bad thing that she wants a little more help from mom, considering all that has gone on? she will get over it. sounds like she just needs a little extra love and patience right now.

I completely agree with Kirsten R. Let her sleep. Cuddle with her and dress her and let her know you are there for her at this difficult time. I was divorced when my daughter was five. I dressed her on school mornings for some time after that. It's a small thing, don't make it a big thing.

1. Stop expecting her to dress herself.
2. Let her get more sleep. 5:00 am is too early, and could be contributing to her troubles.

When my son was little, I woke him up with a snuggle, then gently pulled off his pj's and started sliding on his clothes. He was still groggy. Then we'd go downstairs for breakfast, and after breakfast we'd leave. (Of course, I was getting up way earlier than he did!)

Her parents are divorced. Her dad has a girlfriend. Her mom has been --understandably -- under stress. I wouldn't think an hour and a half struggle about her putting on her clothes is worth it under these circumstances. As things settle down, and as she gets older, she'll be more interested in doing it herself. But for now, I think you should make things easier on yourself -- and on her.

You could try getting dressed with her. I leave for work before my husband and kids are up and have to set everything out the night before if I have even a chance of being presentable. Try picking your clothes with her before bed (you could let her help you, too), setting them out, and then having a simultaneous morning routine--do everything together, down to the shoes. See who is faster (everyone seems to like racing here). :) I usually tell my 3 1/2 year old that he has to do it by the end of the count. He usually doesn't like to have me do it for him, but he'll whine about doing it himself. You might readjust your morning routine, too. If you are not leaving until 6:30, she might need less time in the morning and more time in bed. You could make a wake up game and see if she can get dressed under the blankets, etc. (I used to do that because my room was too cold to get out of bed.) She probably also craves the physical connection and feeling of dependency, so try to fit that in noticably in other ways during the day.

I have a practical solution. Give her a bath at night, and dress her for the morning, right down to her shoes. We have one who still does this, and she is 13. Not my favorite solution, but it works. (mine does not wear the shoes to bed-but she likes getting up and being ready.)

M.

Since you've gone through a big change, this may be a way for her to get some needed additional connection with you. You can look at dressing your daughter as a way to show you love her and care for her. Dressing takes only a few minutes, so if you do need to end up doing it for her, approach it with love and a happy attitude so that it fills her needs for attachment.

The racing to get dressed can be fun. You can shout out which piece of clothing you have on and you can make it fun. You could also time her and keep track of her times to see if she can beat her own record. She may also like making a dressing chart. Have her take pictures of all the steps, print them out & put them on velcro so she can move them from the To Do side to the Finished side. The visual accomplishment can be a big motivator. For the last step, you can have something fun, like playing with a toy for a few minutes.

To wake her up, why not crawl in bed with her and snuggle for 5-10 minutes? Or you can give her a foot rub or back rub instead of talking. Turning on fun music is another way, or bringing her some morning juice or snack. -- in other words, what can you do that she likes that will start her day? She may be old enough for an alarm clock (kid style). Also, be sure to get her to bed early enough that she's had enough rest by the time she needs to get up.

I agree with Kay H. My kids are 6 and 10 and still love to race to see who gets dressed fastest.

Getting dressed the night before and wearing the next day's clothes to bed is an OK solution if nothing else works...

Put a timer in her room, let her her what it will sound like when it goesoff, put it out of reach, allow her to pick out her own clothes, explain to her that when the timer goes off she should be finished getting dressed because that is when you will be taking her to school/leaving the house in whatever she is wearing...then do just that.

If she is really adamant about there not being enough time allow for more time the first time only adding the additional time onto the over all the next time and each after that.

If she seems unshaken by going in pj's then just take her in pjs. If she comes around finishes dressing with time to spare praise her maybe turn it into a game if she does this several times..."betcha can't finish quicker than yesterday"

Good luck!!

That is really early. Even for adults - especially for little ones. Is it possible with your daycare situation for her to sleep up until the time you need to leave and go to daycare in her pj's? Can she get dressed later at daycare? I think everyone involved would have a much better start to the day. If that isn't possible, I'd start putting her to bed in her clothes for the next day. Most little girls wear all cotton, soft clothes anyway. That would allow her to sleep almost until it was time to go. Then maybe she could have a smoothie in the car. Anything is possible when you are four! Good luck.

Find some way to make a game of it. Use a timer and make it a race between the two of you to see if she can get dressed before you finish brushing your teeth.

Definitely keep the tv OFF until getting ready tasks are done. My boys are tired enough in the morning...Having cartoons on just makes their response time even sloooowwer.

Take all the parts of the outfit (undies-socks-jeans-tshirt-shoes) and place them in visible but odd spots in the room. It will make it fun to grab the undies off her teddy bear and the shirt off of the book shelf.

Have her participate in shopping for clothes, washing the clothes...And definitely PICKING OUT the clothes she'll wear that day. Even my 4 yr old has definite ideas about what looks cool and nothing makes him get dressed faster than feeling like he has a say in what he's gonna wear.

Finally, tho it may seem unrelated...Put her to bed early. Getting up and 5:00 sounds super miserable. Make sure she is getting 9-10 hours of sleep at night (you need lots of sleep too momma!).