You are stronger than the disorder!!!! I suffer, still, from an eating disorder that began at 12 years old. I could never be skinny enough. A year ago I was still 100 lbs at 5"6. I am now at 126 and yes when I look in the mirror I see fat but instead of starving myself again I work out or try to. Your children learn from your actions so they will pick up on this and that is not what you want. Neither do I, my 10 year old already says I am fat. It breaks my heart, she is a stick, but I taught her that behavior. I just had to realize that I was stronger than the behavior, I quit smoking, quit drinking coffee all day and began eating. As time has gone on I have found it easier to eat. Whether your problem is not eating or eating too much realize that YOU are stronger. Find a replacement for your behavior. It may seem like a long hard choice but it only takes 28 days to make or break a habit. Have faith in God and yourself. You ARE capable of beating this problem!! Good luck and God bless!