Easing Fears About About the Bad Men

I'm so sorry that happened to your family. I don't know how old your kids are, but you could see if the local sheriff or police department has defense training for kids. We do locally and it's a free service, I believe the kids have to be 5 years old. That could give them a sense of control and confidence. I took the adult class and it's amazing what it does to your confidence level. I plan on taking my daughter as soon she is old enough. Good luck.

Hi, K.,

I'm so sorry that happened to your family. What a scary, scary thing to happen! Since you've had an alarm system installed, and I'm sure you've reassured the boys that they will be safe.......... I'm going to tell you what I would do in your situation, though I'm sure many moms are going to say I'm crazy or stupid or both. :)

I would, personally, change the way my children were looking at it. Of course they are the victims, but I think the feeling that you are the victim is what causes fear and insecurity. I would explain that what these people did was very bad, but perhaps they just didn't think they had a choice. Maybe they were just really poor and couldn't feed their children, and felt like they had to steal in order to get money. They were too ignorant to know that there is help available, and they did not have to do a bad thing, like taking someone else's property. I would try to get my children to feel sympathy for these people, and forgive them. And in that way, hopefully give back to my children a sense of power. It's up to them to forgive these people - they don't HAVE to give it, they are in control of whether they do or not. Like I said, it might help alleviate the feeling of being the victim, and make them feel more secure. Then, of course, I'd reiterate that just in case there are other people out there who think they have to steal, we have the alarm system in place so it can't happen ever again.

Just a different thought.....
Blessings to you and your family. I hope you all find peace again soon.
J.

Wow. You don't mention if you were home at the time of the robbery. Our neighbors had someone try to break into their house and my 8 yr old heard about it. He had sleep issues. We gave him a baseball bat and a flashlight that he kept in his bed, so that if he got scared or thought he heard someone in the house, he would be protected.

When he gets upset and doesn't want to sleep in his room, we let him sleep on the floor of our room.

Hope this helps.
M.

Oh my god, that's awful! I can't seem to find how old your kids are, but if they are younger I would suggest co-sleeping for a while. I, personally, do not sleep with my kids...haven't for a long time. But, if they are sick they are in bed with me. I know that if they were scared they would be too.
Maybe just having you there for a couple of weeks to hug and wake up and know you are there will give them a little extra comfort and get them back into their regular sleep habits.
Good Luck, L.

This would be something that some adults would have problems with coping with. Your home is your safe spot and when it's violated, it's hard for people (of ANY age) to feel safe again. Get some counseling for all of you. It's probably the best way for all of you to move forward and feel safe again.

We had this happen to us too. Luckily, they didn't take anything I think because of our dog. They got through the door and that was it...You didn't say how old the kids were. But, you need to talk to them and let them know bad things happen. If you can get them to talk to someone else, that's great, if not, then rely on relatives. None of us slept well for a few night afterwords, wondering if they would come back, etc. The boys got baseball bats and we made them aware of locking the doors etc.....They talked to their friends who lived in the neighborhood and they all started watching each others homes. In time it will fade, but just let them know that you have done things to make them safe, and that they only took "things" which can be replaced. Show them lots of love. Good Luck and I'm sorry, I know how this feels and it feels awful. If you are religious in any way, you can use that as help as well.

Have them talk to a consular. Ask them what would make them feel more secure. That is a terrible thing that happened and they need to express their feelings to deal with them. I am so sorry for what has happened to you and your family.