T.R.
I've always used a really thin wash cloth during bath-time. The wash cloths are so thin, almost like a terry cloth handkerchief, and they work great. I think they are just a really cheap wash cloth, but it works perfect for cleaning ears and are also just gentle all around. You can also use hydrogen peroxide, have her put her head in your lap or on a pillow, and just use a few drops at a time, it bubbles and breaks up all the wax, pushing it all out with the bubbles. Use little cotton pads or something for catching all of the stuff that comes out (eek,lol), it works and doesn't hurt at all, it may feel a little funny to her because it bubbles, but she should be Ok with it (hopefully). Good luck!