Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde ODD Twins: "To Be or Not to Be" Untreatable...

Mine joined the Navy. Thank God.

We had to be VERY consistent.
We removed doors and changed locks to the outside.
We removed all extraneous items from his room, the only thing he had were books, his bed and a dresser with clothes.
We had no cable for 17 years. Things he saw would only incite him more.
We locked the computer with passwords he could not spell.
He didn't get a license until he was 17.
No phone until his 18th birthday, no computer of his own until then either.
He had minor brushes with the law and I had to let him pay the price.
We had a very strong youth group, this helped tremendously.
His job also helped, he made pizzas.

I cried myself to sleep more times than I remember because of him but he has done very well in the Navy. He finally wants it.
He failed everything at school on purpose or did the absolute minimum.

Separate the girls. Put them in separate rooms with nothing. they get nothing until they deserve it. Sometimes this includes dinner, they can eat in their rooms and it can be bread and water.

I send you strength and prayers and a huge cyber hug. There is not much more devastating than a psychologist giving you an ODD/CD diagnosis. But it can be managed.

I fully agree with everyone who said.. GET A NEW DOCTOR
mental illness, be it ODD, RAD or something else is treatable. But it needs to be properly diagnosed. Look for a child and adolescent specialist and collect as much history as you can. I know it often hard in adoptions, but the more you have on thier history before you adopted them and their parents histories the better.
Also.. look into support grps, organization for familes who adopted children, they may be a tremdous support for all of you. Good luck

Did you adopt them when they were babies or at at 5 years old?

If you look online and research, it says ODD is treatable.

I would shop around and get another Psychiatrist.
Are your kids on meds?

Or, perhaps, has the Psychiatrist, misdiagnosed them?
What if it is not ODD and something else?

ODD is treatable. Get a new doctor.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/oppositional-defiant-dis...

The Mayo clinic doesn't say it's untreatable so I would continue to look for a specialist and I would get church into their lives if it isn't there already. Knowing a higher power is watching and tracking their behavior may get them to see more of the big picture. I agree with taking away all extra's unless they earn them. They are privileges not guarenteed to them unless their behavior warrants it. They are 11, they see the difference between themselves and others around them, they are capable when there is a prize at the end so that means they are capable of contolling themselves some. Make them as often as possible!!!! I will say prayers for you and your continued strength. If you aren't a pray-er, become one, I swear it helps, he listens and wants to provide for your every need.

I have a friend with a son with ODD and he's receiving therapy. Who told you it's "untreatable"?

Hi D. - so from your profile it looks like you adopted your daughters three years ago, so they would have been 8? I would imagine that any child that old who is available for adoption has been through some kind of trauma. I just read an article earlier this week - I think it was in Parents magazine (I was in a waiting room) about two families' experiences with adoption. The focus was on international adoptions, but the article may be of interest to you because one of the families adopted two older boys (around age 11) from Ethiopia and they had a terrible time connecting and adjusting. They used play therapy to help break through to them particularly the older one, who was so violent that they feared for the life of their youngest child and could not leave him alone with anyone, had to lock up everything at night, etc. Play therapy was very effective for this family, even though the boys were older and had truly been through hell.

Please find an excellent therapist who specializes in adoption issues. ODD IS TREATABLE. "The Kadzin Method for Parenting your Defiant Child" might be a good book for you, but if I were you, I would seek out better experts and find someone who can find the redeeming qualities in your children and help you (and them) find and nurture those qualities. Somewhere underneath their tough, traumatized exteriors are two children who are probably for good reason emotionally and logically stunted in their development, who think they are worth nothing, who don't know how to give or receive love or trust, and who are just waiting for you to give up on them so that they can prove to themselves that they are right, they really are unlovable and no one will really want them. Hang in there - they are worth the fight, and it's winnable. You've done a great thing with adopting children and raising your own as well. Keep showing them what unconditional love is, and help them to heal and grow.