When I met my ex I was 16. When we met we were instant friends. We just had that cosmic connection. We married and had a son and divorced less than a year later. (been divorced for 5 years)
So... now as a 26 year old I've tried to date, but I lose interest. I guess it seems like there isn't that spark, that cosmic connection. Then I think to myself, I am comparing a 16 year old perspective to a perspective 10 years later. Maybe this spark I speak of is an illusion. Or maybe I have reevaluate that it will feel different based on that I'm older and let's hope wiser!
So... any thoughts on how to perhaps understand what the spark could be now? Did you have the spark with your significant other? If you're divorced how was it different with your next mate?
I guess I've been feeling lonely lately and wish I had that connection with someone else. But... it's not something I'm going to rush or fake. I want it to be a genuine feeling!
Yes...it's real! Funny thing, I didn't much care for my hubby when we first met, then we became friends, then started dating...now 22 yrs later, my heart still beats faster when I hear him come home at the end of the day! You will find "the one." Be patient...he's worth the wait! :)
I thought I had the spark with my husband when we started dating at age 18. But after 20 years of marriage, our spark is way stronger!!! I'm more in love with him now than ever before and I was pretty smitten back in the day. At our youth group reunion a couple years ago, someone said to me "you really need to get over him!" LOL Anyway, take it slow. You'll know if there is some sort of spark. Start out as friends and don't feel rushed. You'll know when you make that connection. If you lose interest, it may mean that he's not the right one. I wish you the best!!
E.,
Hang in there! You haven't found the right man yet---when you do, you will know in your heart of hearts that you found him and he will know in his heart that you were meant for eachother. I KNEW the second I met my husband that he was the man for me and we would be together F.---that spark started then and hasn't stopped. He still makes my heart melt every time I see him and when we kiss, its like fireworks. Hold onto the hope that a special, worthy, loving man is out there just for you-waiting for you. You will find him.!GL
M
My high school boyfriend and I reunited in our late 20's. The passion was there for about one weekend and then we both realized we are better off not together. Still, that experience was unique and intense like no other, even if it didn't work out.
Well, how do I say this......... it is there if you let it be there . I had the sparks and married, we have been together for 15 years. I think about a lot of how I keep the spark from being there in my marriage. So I think it takes work on my part to make it there and be available. If I continue to look at the negative parts of the marriage or the negative parts of the husband, then the spark is lost . If I encourage romance or date nights or notes and cards and just spending time together, then the spark is there. I guess I am not always good about being positive towards him......we are a family, all about the kids, trying to get small talk out of the way, stress or whatever is on your plate ...... distracts one another from that romance and need for one another. I think it is also a spark if you share Christ and you pray for your marriage and be healthy in your own spiritual walk, whatever that is, and be a healthy you .......then you are "all together" to allow the spark in your marriage. I do have a lot to work on that for myself to bring that more real for my husband. He is the same and he is never going to change his little habits or annoying things that I find through out our week together, but I can change on how I look at that and make it great for both of us.
Hi E.,
Sparks come and go even in a marriage. Mine, in the beginning, were not as strong as they are now after 20 years of marriage. You can't force it back but you can take the bull by the horns and get out there and make some friends. I married my best friend so that worked out well for me.
There are many places to make friends....clubs, churches, classes. Believe me, loneliness seems like it lasts forever but it really doesn't. I met my husband when I was 31. It DID feel like forever UNTIL I met him. I can't speak to the divorce issue but I do know every relationship has a different feel to it. It doesn't mean it's not a good relationship and even some "sparks" can mask and blind you to things that are going on in the relationship. You're older AND wiser. Appreciate that. Time is a good thing.
God bless,
M.
Wait for it! Don't rush it or fake it. You've (we've all got) time to find the spark. I think the spark has to be there to make a relationship work, through all the day-to-day stuff of life.
I got married at 22 without it, then divorced at 25. Married again at 28 and definitely had the connection and the spark, along with all the difficulties. But now at 50, he is still the one I am connected to in a really deep way.
I think you haven't found the right one. I had a spark with my hubby when I met him. I was 23. Years later, I still feel the spark:-) I would wait for it. It might be different than when you were a teen, but it is definitely very muchly there. Good luck!
I wonder the exact same thing. I wonder if its me, the place I'm in. My guess is that I won't let there be a spark because I'm always the high functioning one in the relationship. Who I am attracted to and who would be good for me are completely at odds.
I'm attracted to (and married) the dark handsome brooding musician. I want a responsible, stable, mature man. Which sounds sexier to you: )
I will say, when I worked at hospice and older people described their love, it was the same feeling for them; that giddy, rejuvinating feeling that make colors seem brighter, ya-di-ya-di-ya.
I think how we go about meeting people now is interesting. I tried internet dating and it was a bust. I met nice guys, but it was artificial and akward for me. I've lost interest in looking for now but I know there will come a time when I will want a partnership again. With spark! :)
