Does Crying Bother You?

Don't worry! I sometimes feel the same way! I have a 21 month old and a two month old. I've asked my friends with kids if they've felt this way because I used to feel bad, too, and they all have been there! It's ok to get angry and frustrated. Sometimes I'll just walk away for a minute and take a deep breath, and it usually helps. Remember, if you need to do that, it's ok for them to cry for a minute while you take a break! Good luck!

Hi JW~
I was like you with my first child and to some degree with my second who is 10 months.
I think it is normal to frustrated when you don't know what the cry is and you have exhausted all the possibilities (hunger, wet diaper, etc.)

What I would do is just take a step back and (remember you wanted a strategy) start singing a song. Sometimes it would be a children's song other times it would be a contemporary. (I'm hoping my daughter's first words won't be "I'm bringing sexy-back")
I would just talk/sing out loud to take my mind off of the crying and regroup.
It gets better :-)
Hope that helps.

It depends how old your baby is but if its within a year and half of your baby's birth you may be experiencing postpartum depression. Have you looked into the avenue of seeing someone? It may be nothing too. Just lack of sleep, stress of a new baby, etc. Specifics would be helpful to give you more developmental ideas depending on your child's age.

Everyone gets upset when they can't figure out what to do when the baby is crying. I would tell myself that he was building is lungs and just cuddle him if I couldn't find a reason. Usually he calmed down or I would figure out what was wrong once I calmed down.

Has your doctor checked you for the post-pregnancy stress. I can't remember the actual wording but I would have your doctor check you out. Our hormones sometimes does not want go back to normal and it can make some of us a little on the nuts side until they do. What I mean is it sounds like natures fault not a problem with you and the baby. If your doctor won't take your concerns seriously then you need to switch doctors. I didn't have the same problem after my son is born but when I take the pill I do. My doctoc wouldn't listen and thought it was just in my head. Then I found a doctor that believed me and didn't try to force me into taking the pill. You'll be much happier if you find someone that will listen and believe you about what your body is doing.

Do Not Let Anyone tell you what you are feeling is not real or that you should just suck it up. You are allowed to feel upset but you (in my opinion) should get the doctor to find out what can alleviate this. It doesn't sound like this is the normal "you"

I understand how you feel. Although my son (19 months)is a great kid and doesn't push me to my limit very often, I feel that I have a short fuse when he does. What I have done to try to keep him from crying is to be as aware as possible of his needs and meet those needs as soon as possible. I keep him on a strict schedule for sleeping since being over-tired makes him a bear. I read the "What to Expect..." books to help me know how he'll be changing and what he may be going through. This way he doesn't get frustrated by needing something and not being able to explain his needs or being too tired. If he does start to cry for reasons I can't figure out, I try to distract him with things he loves to do. -M.

I had those issues when my boys were small. They are all adults now and yes you can survive them. What I did was to have a good friend near by or a really good family member over at least to act as a back up for the kids if my emotions went off kilter. It gives you a break and gets you out of the situation.
You might really want to talk to your physician about the meds that you are on, some make you worse than you really are and can have an adverse reaction on you physically.

ALWAYS remember that a babies cries are his/her way of communicating, wet, hungry, lonely, and just like us inconsolable at times. Babies always react to their enviroment also and that includes you. They can pick up on everything that you are feeling too. Are you postpartum depressed?

JW- I feel your pain and totally empathize with you. The crying can get to me too. The best advice I can give you is to set you baby down in a safe place, like a crib or playpen and step away for a moment and just take some deep breaths. Remember, you are not horrible, you are not alone. The crying is a way for them to communicate and to let off steam. I do have a couple ideas for you to try...

A quick tonic I use is a Bach Flower remedy called rescue remedy- they have it at whole foods, a couple drops under the tongue and it does chill you out. Flower remedies are ok to use while nursing and on meds too, check with your doctor to be sure, the chemist at merz apothacary is a fantastic resource too.

Also, going to yoga when my husband gets home from work has saved my sanity many a time, it's adults, it's quiet and it's heaven! I wish you good luck and hang in there.

To JW, The first thing you need to understand is that a baby cries for the main reason that there is something going on with them. Since a baby can't talk, they cry. You need to do a process of elimination. I always check their diaper, see if it is feeding time, see if there to warm/cold, if they could be teething, or do they just need me time. A baby needs to be held and cuddled to know that they are loved. Sometimes they cry to just to make sure you are by them. Good luck with your baby and if it becomes to much maybe you should talk to your dr.

Crying can be annoying. Ask twice what your child wants or needs. If you feed into the crying it will only get worse.If you yell or get mad it will not help you,your child or the situration. You have to block the crying out. Leave and go to another room. If your child doesn't stop after 5 minutes maybe its time to put your child to the crib and leave the room. If you tell your child I will not talk to you until you are done crying and whining and stick with what you say it will become less and less. It is frustrating and can drive you nuts but thats good you are getting help. Maybe your baby is teething and needs orajel...thats just another thought. I hope everything works out for you...good luck.

When my daughter was six weeks old, I was diagnosed with post partum depression. Everything seemed fine up until then and it just seemed to hit me. However, I now realize that everyday was leading up to this moment when I (not the baby) could not stop crying. I spoke with my husband, my mother and my primary care doctor, and she put me on Zoloft. I, too, was not depressed in the traditional sense, but I had anxiety. My daughter's crying was not unusual and easily soothed but each time she cried for more than a few mintues, I would be flooded with anxiety and incompetence and then guilt for feeling anxious and incompetent. Experts say that a child can sense your tension. It's important that you speak to not only your doctor about this but to those around you who are your support group. It's possible that you may need a different medication, more exericse and/or to speak to someone who is qualified to discuss these issues. Believe it or not, it's normal and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

J W,
I think you are very brave for expressing this and I admire your honesty. Perhaps the medication you are on is not the right one for you and is causing some side effects. Either way, you are NOT alone and simply talking to your doctor can help. I agree with all the other postings- putting down your child and going into another room for a few minutes may help. Bottom line is: as your baby grows into a toddler the tantrums will get plentiful. I think the most important thing here is your own mental health. There are Sooooo many meds out there you should find the best one for you.
Good luck and hang in there! You are doing a great job!

You might be suffering from postpartum depression and depression hits people differently. Contact your doctor, they might need to change your medication, if the meds were working you WOULD feel a difference. For the baby crying-if it is something that just started, take the baby to the doctor, just to be sure there is no problem. Also, sometime around a child's first birthday they start having separation anxiety and if they can't see you they cry. This is normal and will pass but it is hard on both of you. If everything seems to be fine, you need to distract yourself from her cry. Turn the radio on- loud if you have to, leave the room, place her in her crib and close the door. If all else fails- buy a pair of ear plugs, they will not eliminate the sound completely, but will muffle it. Most importantly, remember to eat healthy and get plenty rest. I know it is hard with a little one, but it is so very important.

I used to get annoyed and sometimes still do when my son cries(he's six now). Your meds might need to be increased or you might just need more breaks. I found that just getting out of the house and taking a walk or a drive helps with the frustration over the crying. Hope that helps.
K.

JW:

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time dealing with your child crying. It IS hard. I am a social worker with a 13mo. old and I am wondering if your anti-depressants might be causing the agitation/increased feelings of anger. This can be a side effect in some people. I would advise discussing this issue with your doctor if you haven't already done so. Hopefully you are able to be in some type of therapy; this can also be useful. Good luck.

J.

Yes the crying is very frustrating. My youngest is 15 mos. Sometimes it seems he is crying for no reason. I have taught him some sign language which helps him be able to communicate with me. Still there are times when he is hanging on my leg and crying and I want to scream at him to please just shut-up. When I start to feel like this, I need to remind myself to step away. I will go into the bathroom and shut the door and just chill out. Sometimes I call a friend just to vent. They have kids too so I know they understand. Some days I practically throw the baby in my husbands arms before he is even in the door. I will go for a walk or just up to my room to read a book or to take a bath. After about 15 mins, I feel much better.

Please talk to your doctor if you feel that things are not getting better. You are not the only person that feels this way and I am sure that they will have some recommendations for you. Maybe some kind of parenting class that would teach you different strategies to use.

Also talking to other moms that have kids of this age really helps. I think we have all been there at one time or another.

Good luck,

C.
____@____.com

Are you getting enough time for yourself? I found when I had time away, just to shop or go to the library, that I had so much more patience for the crying. Maybe talk to your doc about a different medication that might help you be more relaxed as well. Make sure you are getting enough rest and be sure to ask for help when you need it. Hang in there!
R.

You are not alone. Crying used to drive me crazy. My daughter (who is now 4) was colic the first two and half months. She got much much better, but crying annoys me. When she was a baby people would ask "what does that cry mean?" and I never knew - all the cries sounding the same to me. Those kind of comments drove me nuts too, like I wasn't a good mother.

In any case, you'll find a way to cope. I would take a few deep breathes before picking her up or count to 10. Once I realized she wasn't intentional trying to get under my skin and that she was just a child things got a lot better.

Also, get out of the house. Take a yoga or exercise class - even just once a week - do something for yourself:)

If the crying is to much for you to handle, and anger is an issue (like you feel you may hurt you or the baby). It is best to put the baby in a safe place (crip, playpen) and leave the room to give yourself time to regroup. It will not hurt a baby to cry for five minutes if that means giving yourself time to focus. If you really feel as though it is getting to bad to handle, talk to your baby's pediatrician he or she may have some good ideas to help. Good luck and try to think positive!!

You best bet is to put the baby down somewhere where they wont get hurt and remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes. I also take a weekly ceramics class just to get out of the house and have some grown up time.

I feel your pain too! I make sure to put my DS in his co-sleeper, and then go into the other room and take some deep breaths to calm down. My DH also makes sure that I get some "me time" where I go and leave "the boys" for a little while and go to Borders, go to the gym, go for a little stroll around the neighborhood - just to get a break and recharge my batteries :)

But please make sure to consult with your Doctor also, as it could be the medication that you are taking too.

Hang in there!! :)

You're not alone, I too get angry. I have found that putting the baby some place safe works well...also I count to ten and that works too. Just try to remember that it won't be forever, they'll grow out of it. You might want to switch your medication, some of them make you more anxious than others.

It used to bother me when my kids would cry when they were babies. Sometimes, it does help to put them in a crib/playpen and walk for a while. It sounds like you might need to talk to your doctor about post partum depression, which is not unusual. With your child being 1 yrs old, it is probably teething that is making him/her cry. Try oragel. And please seek help, maybe the medication you are taking is not the correct one for you.

Good luck and Blessings to you and your family
D.

As a mother of a baby with colic, I know exactly what you mean. When my daughter was two months old and I had spent about 22 consecutive hours trying to soothe her, I began to understand why some unbalanced mothers commit the horrible act of harming their children. Its hard to understand why your perfect little baby is not responding to your best efforts to soothe her. I know I began to feel like my baby hated me. The best thing I can recommend is support groups for new mothers or even individual counseling to help you work through this issue. It probably won't resolve itself without intervention and I'm sure you don't want to deal with the resentment and anger you feel about the crying and the subsequent guilt. No one ever mentions these issues to you when discussing the joys of motherhood. Sometimes, motherhood can be the loneliest place on earth but don't give up. It will get better.