I think I'm done shopping for my teen sons. The only problem is that the "loot" looks less than years past. And in fact I did spend less than I normally do (but still alot it seems). In previous days I would go out and buy a bunch of smaller stuff, and wrap it. I'm avoiding that this year because it just seems wasteful.
They don't even really need underwear or socks! I just gave a bunch of socks (still in good condition) to Goodwill.
We are so blessed, and I'm so thankful. But I always worry about disappointing my boys. I had wonderful Christmas memories as a child (my mom started shopping in August!) and I always want to do the same for my kids. Then again, when I was a kid it wasn't always about the "stuff" though my parents did make it magical. I just enjoyed that my dad was off, and we always had alot of fun together on those days.
Does anyone else worry about disappointing their kids? It's so hard with teens, because the things they like are so expensive. My sons won't give it a thought - they're pretty responsible and level-headed. This is more my issue.
I've really got myself to blame here. I've done some whiz-bang Christmas's before . . . and have had arguments with husband about the budget. This year I decided to honor the budget. I closed all my old credit card accounts last fall, so no "sneaky" gifts.
I'm also struggling with my kids not being little any more, and this being my last Christmas before I have an adult child. I just miss when they were little - all the toys, trucks, cars, legos, Disney movies, gaming systems, etc. I cry when I think about it. They were so, so precious to me.
This year before I went shopping I looked around and tried to find ONE thing from last Christmas that my kids still had. Couldn't do it. This year we're trying quality instead of quantity.
I'm hoping it works out.... I asked both my kids a hypothetical - "Would you rather have one great thing that cost fifty dollars, or fifty things from the dollar store.?" Both said one great thing. We shall see... we shall see.
They sound sweet-and you sound awesome! Do something together-that memory will last forever and be worth a thousand gifts!
Nope!!
I am excited there is only one wrapped gift for each of them this year. It means they are not spoiled.
Less is so much more
Yep.
First xmas doing the single parent thing. Although next xmas will probably be sparser (I'd gotten SOME shopping done before I had to throw my husband out, rather ironically this was our first xmas in 10 years that we actually had the money to be able to buy what we wanted)... this is my/our first xmas just the 2 of us. I'm trying my best, but my best is pretty crappy right now. Which sucks to admit.... because in my own mind I'm wonderwoman/lara croft/ninja-girl who can rock anything. And in reality... well... I'm just not quite that spiffy. In fact, I'm rather spiffy-free right now. Spiffless. Spiffless Christmas. But I'm trying!!! Unfortunately the only super-power I have at the moment is Mom-Guilt. Which I'm periodically whacking back with a stick. Back! Back I say!!!
This year, under our tree is sparser.
No biggie.
BECAUSE, I spoke to my kids, and especially my eldest who is 9 years old. (my son is 5). I always, explain things to them.
I explained, that due to budget and monetary limits, we cannot buy nor shop as much this year. Even for others.
My daughter's reply was "Its okay Mommy, it doesn't matter how many I get, I am only wishing for like 2 things. And Santa can help you..."
And for my son, its no biggie for him either, how "many" is under the tree. He said he knows Mommy loves him, and he just doesn't want to get a "lump of rock"... and even a little bouncy ball is enough.
Kids, understand.
Mine do.
They are just happy.
I tend to shop year round, and I think I do better with the budget that way than if I wait until November or December to look around for things for everybody.
That said, it's a fact that as children get bigger, the "material" pile gets smaller. That's the case even if you don't buy the megabucks game systems or the designer clothes.
I do like to spoil my grandchildren (I consider it part of my job description! I'm mentioning it because you may have grandchildren one day)... not that I don't stick to a budget, but I wrap everything separately so it *appears* to be more spoiling. The grans are still pretty young, but I know that system won't work much longer!
Keep in mind that, just as you have wonderful Christmas memories, your sons may have wonderful Christmas memories as well. They'll just be different from yours. What about asking them what their favorite memories of Christmas are so far? You may be surprised.
This year I decided to go with quality over quantitiy, so, yeah, I've 2nd guessed myself a few times. But I think everyone will be happy with what I chose. I know the kids will, of course. But the grown ups, I'm afraid I might be short changing them a bit.
Aww, you're a good mom! Try not to worry honey and......
Make Christmas Day fun.
Enjoy their company.
Have fun.
Laugh.
I think all moms worry about disappointing their kids on C-mas Day but don't worry. They are good kids.
Something you could do is give them a "coupon" for something to do together that they would like (w/i reason.....no concerts if that's not your thing. ha).
Also, since we've had to watch our money so I've shopped at the thrift store for things we could actually use (I know not as good for teens that want electronics).
Don't worry they'll be fine.
Like I said make Christmas Day different & special & fun: laugh, watch a comedy channel for a few mins, make goals for the next year, write down 5 things you are each thankful for, have hot cocoa, cookies, homemade pizza, appetizers, your favorite dinner you like to make, chocolate, write them each "their story" from birth to now....only a few paragraphs but something cute & fun, have fortune cookies on C-mas day, cut out their horoscopes (we all love stuff about ourselves) etc.
It will be great!
Sending you love & good wishes to you & your family this holiday season.
Have a fun Christmas honey! :)
2 words: Big Bows! :) Presentation does help to make it all feel fancier, and prettier if it is volume that you're looking to create. Besides that the whole experience - whatever pampering or events that you can do to make this Christmas the very special day that it is will create a wonderful and lasting memory for your family.
My kids are litttle, 3 and 5, and I too cut back on Christmas. Last year was ridiculous and of all the stuff they got, they probably played with 3 of 50 things. I'm also having them volunteer to show that Christmas is not all about presents. We too are very fortunate that we both have our jobs, health, etc and I really wanted to make sure my kids understand what Christmas is all about.
If your children are teenagers and have a clue about the economy, they will be happy for what you give them......and they SHOULD be greatful for the roof over their heads, food in the mouths, cloths on their backs and the WONDERFUL parents which they obviously have.
No, I don't worry about over gifting kids or adults. If my kid didn't have a CLUE, I'd put one in his stocking.
Blessings....
My girls are almost 3 and almost 1 so they really don't know what's going on. The past two years we really went all out for our then only child. Growing up my parents didn't have much money but my sisters and I were spoiled at Christmas (to the point I believed in the big S until my mom told me at age 12 that he wasn't real) I knew we had no money (and no debt) but my parents budgeted well and mom started shopping in Feburary for the next Christmas. So anyway growing up Christmas was huge and so I have a feeling that that is how it is supposed to be.
Husband grew up in the opposite background. Christmas was nice, but they had quite a bit of money so they always were getting gifts throughout the year.
This year there is less money to go around (we just moved into a larger house, and I stay at home, plus two kiddos) and so we decided on one main gift from Santa and a few things from mom and dad. We spent less than $100 on each child (and that includes some new cloth diapers for the youngest, because I feel bad she doesn't even get new diapers.) So it won't look like much. But ODD has been begging everyone she talks to (including Santa) for roller skates, so I know that is all she will care about.
I know I'll still be upset when we put the few presents under the tree, but hopefully their little smiles in the morning will make it all better.
Merry Christmas!
You yearn for when your chlldren were young and you could go the "sky's the limit" thing. But now that they are close to adults it is hard to buy for them.
Just get them something nice within a budget and go from there. They will soon be leaving the nest and it will be different. As children grow up the gifts, the size, and what they are change. What you did and had as a child was from a different era in America. We now have a new norm and go from there. No need to go into debt over gifts that may or may not be used or played with. Have you checked what your sons use in games/toys? This should give you a clue about what they really enjoy.
How about getting them together to help you make a batch of cookies for the season? That would be a memory I woud love to have the three of you doing something together and have fun even if the flour does go flying around the kitchen.
Kids are resilient and enjoy what they have and live for the moment.
Happy holidays.
The other S.
Good for you! They'll be fine. We have 5 kids and our two oldest are teens. Our tree looks sparse but I'm making a big breakfast and we're renting some movies. It'll be a great day! Usually, too many gifts are too overwhelming anyway and kind of a waste. Merry Christmas!!
Christmas changes a bit when they are older, no more coloring books, and matchbox cars! What I love is that we can actually get teens to spend time with us on Christmas. Get a family game and wrap it up and label it for the family (Scene it, Buzz, something active ?) and maybe you can all have fun playing a game together. Even if its only once a year.
I'm a single mother so Christmas Presents usually are sparce. To make it more of a "wow" factor on Christmas morning I have found that the little presents go into big boxes. It fills out nicely under the tree. First impression is that there is a lot when in reality there isn't as much as it looks like. They think they are getting a "wow" Christmas.
Don't worry! It sounds like your boys have tons of great memories! Your post did tug at my heart strings though and make me tear up a little as I looked at my 22 month old bending the blinds, AGAIN!! A great reminder to not sweat the small stuff :D Merry Christmas!
I thought the same thing last year and took a few rolls of ribbon and tossed it around the gifts, on the tree, and ran it up the stairs. It gave off that wow factor for sure. But my kids were 3 n 5. Not too sure it would give the same effect to teens. One of the problems I feel is that gifts are so teeny tiny these days. Merry Christmas!
I'm doing my best to just not care. We exchanged names this year and I have somewhat violated that. I hit up a sale on jewelry that was super cheap. Some of my girls might like some of that. We have enough and it will be sparse.
I was a bit worried about this myself, but my son (just turned 13) has been reading an old sci-fi series and gave me a list of about 20 books he wanted.
Only way to get them was from a used book store (Alibris.com) and I got the whole series for 99 cents per book (all paperbacks). With shipping it worked out to a very reasonable $2.50 per book.
I packed them in small boxes, wrapped those up, and now he's going to have a tidy pile along with a few other things.
Some of the books I can't wait to read myself.
I think my kids (teens) do understand that this year things need to be different, as in the past 2 years they have gotten some really expensive gifts. They also know that college is right around the corner and we've been trying to do a little bit more saving.
I've always enjoyed Christmas and giving gifts to others. I always spoiled my kids during the holidays, since I don't spoil them much during the year. I think it's time to start letting go.
i noticed it with ours too. my daughter is only 4 and doesnt remember any other year really. i focus on one major gift then little nice gifts. my daughter gets the most out of everyone ;) and that makes me happy. i just enjoy anything i get.
What about passing on something of sentimental value? Teens are old enough to appreciate the story or tradition that goes along with something handed down (or something similar to what you or you husband enjoyed at the same age). For example many years ago my aunt got small silver heart necklaces for me and my sister. This aunt died young, also many years ago when her daughters were children. One year when her daughters were teens I got them slightly different silver heart necklaces and told them the story. The actual necklaces weren't too expensive as jewelery goes (maybe $10) but the memories made them more special. If you can't think of an existing family tradition you can start one this year. Maybe something that is fun with teens that was too complicated with young kids. It is a bit late to be starting this year but handmade gifts are also an option.
YEP - I feel ya pain. Especially this year. I used no credit cards either. Luckily my 3 understand the money thing. As a single parent, I used to "over-compensate" for the first 5 years since my DH left us.
M. F
