Is This Too Mean?

How sad. Yes, I think its mean to make them wait. It shouldn't be a big deal to let them unwrap presents and celebrate in the house before you leave. I mean, how hard is it to have a couple extra boxes available to pack the new toys in and take to the new house?

Sorry, normally the hubby is wrong but in this case you are. I also think the name calling needs to stop. You are both under stress and this is a big change for the kids so, yep, Christmas is December 25.

I wouldn't be able to wait any extra days let alone my kids.

Christmas is Dec 25th. Celebrate it then. Life as a mom isn't easy...it's not supposed to be. Suck it up and deal with the extra hassle - if that's what it is.

I looked at your profile. FIve kids being told to put a pin in Christmas? Yes, that's too harsh. Christmas is the one day you can coddle and be unproductive! I am with Dad on this one. Don't banish Christmas to next week!

I think you are under a lot of stress or you would realize they need to be able to celebrate Christmas ion the actual day.. Otherwise what are you guys going to do that day, pack up the rest of the house and ignore Christmas? The children deserve to be children especially with their stress of moving.

Let them open their gifts on Christmas.. IF you do not have room for them in the car or trailer, then on Monday you can let them know the gifts will be shipped to the new house so they can pick one or to take with them in the car and the others will be at the new house in a few days.

And I encourage the 2 of you to play nice with each other.. No more name calling. Just state your opinions by saying, "I feel, I need, I was thinking," or asking, "help me come up with a plan.. here are my concerns."

You should absolutely still do Christmas ON Christmas!! The things from you and your husband can wait for the new house, but Santa comes on Christmas.

I know it's hard, but really... it's CHRISTMAS, and SANTA, LOL!!

Besides, getting new things from Santa might keep them out from under your feet while you're packing and moving ;) Just leave a few empty boxes out to throw the presents in last minute, and make sure they're the first things unpacked at the new place!

Good luck!

Your kids are definitely old enough to know the difference between Christmas Day and 3-days-late. So I would say that they should get to open their gifts ON Christmas Day. For parents, really, t's not "THAT" big a deal to pack up unwrapped gifts over the next 2 days before moving. But to the kids, it IS a HUGE deal to not get Christmas presents from Santa on Christmas day.

I think that your children should get their gifts on Christmas. Kids are very much into the day. They're losing their home,school, and friends. Why should they lose out on Christmas on Christmas day? It's hard enough to wait until Christmas Eve/day and you want them to wait another 3 days. The kids will not understand. Actually, I don't understand.

And for what? Convenience? You can pop them all into a box and take them with you after they're opened. Because the house will be more put together? No, it won't. The new house will be unfamiliar and in chaos from all the boxes.

I agree that it is unfair to make the kids wait. Feels punitive to me.

Yup, too mean to me. Yes - opening presents in your new house would be easier on you, but it's MUCH harder on the rest of your family. You're basically telling your five children that they don't get Christmas this year.

Yes... they'll get toys four or five days after Christmas... but that's not Christmas. And you know they won't get the toys on the 28th because you'll be moving. Will you really want to open them on the 29th when you're unpacking your entire life?

On another note, why do you want an empty house for a week? I get that you need to pack early, but if all you have by the 24th is boxes and beds, what are your kids supposed to do until the move actually happens? If you give them toys on the 25th, they'll at least be able to do more than wander around an empty house and whine.

I understand it probablly easier to open them at the new house a few days later..

But its Christmas. There is still going to be things in house for 3 days after the 25th. I would let them open thier gifts on the 25th. Is it really going to be that hard to pack up thier gifts 3 days later?

Plus if you move on the 28th.. when are you actually going to open the gifts? Your probablly going to be tired from moving. Nothing is really going to be orginized. It will just add to the mess and comotion that is already there.

Let the kids have thier Christmas on Christmas...

I'm with hour husband on this. Sometimes what's logical and easiest for mommy isn't what's best for real life.
You are being, what we call in our house, a Dream Crusher! LOL

On December 20, 1998 my grandmother passed away. So late on December 24, 1998 we (my mother, aunt, sister, her 5 kids, my son and one young cousin piled into a 16 passenger van headed for North Carolina. I made certain I put at 1 gift for each of the kids in the van. I also had a friend of mine come to the house to put their gifts under the tree for when we returned. When the clock in the van struck midnight, we woke up the kids and handed out their gifts. They were so happy.

They were even more happy to come home and find even more presents under the tree.

Christmas is important to younger kids. The kids were ages 4 to 11 at the time.

Give your kids Christmas on Christmas. Or perhaps open up 2 gifts at the old house and the rest at the new house if you can make Christmas happen at the new house. It is all about creating memories. My kids will never forget the Christmas of 1998 and neither will I. It was the best Christmas ever.

I agree with hubby. That is not fair to make the kids wait. Christmas is all about the kids! I say just have empty boxes with their names on them and they can put all their new toys in those boxes when you are ready to pack them up.
Good Luck with your move!

It is a tree and some gifts! It is no more difficult to pack them in the three days after Christmas as it is to pack them the three days before.

If darn near everything is already packed this should be a no brainer. Plus it will keep them out of your hair since they will have new stuff to play with.

Wow! Mean, unreasonable, lazy, coddling and anti-productive are all hurtful words. I'm thinking you need a big hug (as does your husband, probably.) Moving is so stressful on everyone. I wish you both peace, presents on Christmas day, cooperative packing and a smooth move to your new house.

Haven't read any other responses. My 1st thought was .... Christmas is 3 days before you are moving. Keep a tree up and put some presents .. have a normal Christmas minus the things that are packed. What's the big deal?? So, I guess I agree with your husband. Plus, your kids are all young and you have so many! I'd keep Christmas on Christmas.

Sorry, I think he is right & you are wrong.

You are doing what is easy & convenient for you. Last time I checked, Christmas was about the kids & they shouldn't be forced to wait that long because you want to control everything.

Um, no!!! Absolutely unforgivable!!! I side w/hubby on this one!
Sorry, I see what you are thinking but that is just not okay.
Again, sorry but you will ruin Christmas for them.
The equivalent would be me telling you could not talk to your friends from where you live, have any wine (or whatever you like to have.. Starbucks), no fun, not go to any holiday parties, not have any yummy appetizers, not watch your favorite programs, not talk to any relatives on the phone UNTIL you move.
See how disappointing & unrealistic that is?
And they are only just kids
I know you have a lot on your plate but once we have kids it's all about THEM not us.
It's not coddling. I promise you & any psyciatrist. would agree w/me.
Oh and to answer your question: yes it's too mean!
Your husband is the voice of reason in this scenario.
Please for my sake so I can sleep at night...give them their normal, lovely, regular Christmas traditions! Don't ruin my Christmas too!
I won't sleep at night! I implore you. I'm sad already.
Great & I turn to this site for some levity. ;) (meant in jest. Sort of). ;)
All the best wishes & good luck on your move! gvthemtheirchrismtas

In my opinion, I would not have the heart to make them wait until three days after Christmas to open gifts. The anticipation kids get around Christmas is bad enough. I could not imagine making them wait any longer than they have to. I guess I agree with your husband on this!

BTW: My husband agrees that it would be mean to make them wait.

As the kid who moved, and moved, and moved some more, I can tell you that it's a huge adjustment. I think the younger me would have been crushed to be told that Christmas would have to wait three more days... I'd already waited a *whole year* for Christmas.

Plus, think of it this way: you get your extra packaging out of the way because toys are unwrapped and the kids have a few more things to do which will keep them out of your hair. Smaller inconvenience for a bigger payoff.

It sounds like you and your husband are both stressed about the move. See if you can sit down over a cup of coffee with each other and come up with a compromise. Maybe open the gifts that don't have the bigger mess potential before moving and save the ones with little pieces for later? It's worth a shot...

Another vote for opening gifts on Christmas day. Since you're not moving until the 28th, you will have 3 (or 4 if you open Christmas eve) days for the kids to play with their gifts and pack them up. I mean, if 90% of the house is packed up already, AND you pack up the presents..I bet the kids would be bored and upset, and they'd have nothing to really do until the move 3 days later. Let them enjoy the holiday--it won't be too rough to toss the rest in boxes and take them in the car.

I'm sorry, but I agree with your hubby. Christmas is christmas. How will you feel when the neighborhood kids all have their Christmas stuff and your kids stand there empty-handed?

I'm kind of with your husband on this one. It's not their fault that your moving date happens to coincide with Christmas. So what's the plan on Christmas Day? Will you just move the entire celebration by a week?

I don't think you're lazy or unreasonable... in fact I think you are being a little "too reasonable" here. You don't say how old your children are here, but having them wait a week because it's easier for you is somewhat selfish. I also don't think you are thinking about the logistics here... you still have to pack the gifts (wrapped) and move them. Are you planning on having everything set and ready the moment the kids walk into the new house? If not, your story is completely blown.

You don't ask what we would do, but I think I would probably pack as planned, but leave a few boxes for Christmas gifts. Pack those up last and go ahead with your move.

I vote for opening them on Christmas morning, even if there is nothing left in the house. The family doesn't care if the house is perfect, and it will be anticlimactic three days later.

Christmas is the time for "coddling".

p.,s. - I think your house should be empty -- except for the tree and gifts. That would be pretty cute, actually.

Another Christmas vote. I can totally see this becoming a really sad memory for your kids if you make them wait.

I would not make my kids wait for Christmas because I didn't want the fuss. That's what it sounds like to me. I feel bad you are having to move at this particular time of year too. The kids must be having some issues with the move to begin with so seeing all the neighborhood kids outside playing with their new things is just going to be salt rubbed in their wounds. Let the kids have Christmas at home then just pack up everything they don't want to take with them during the travel time. It will also help them pass the time with new stuff to keep their interest.

Sorry but yeah - I think you should still let the kids open their presents on Christmas morning. You're not even moving on the 26th! I can't imagine having Christmas come and go without gifts and then not even move for 3 more days... That does seem sad. And I don't think it'll make things much harder at all to open on Christmas...

Sorry, but I'm with your husband on this one. Your kids are old enough to know when Christmas is and that would be pretty lousy and disappointing to have to wait three days. Good luck with your move!

My sister is moving Dec. 27th from Fl. to Va. and they are doing Christmas on Christmas. Her boys are 14, 11, and 2. I vote for a Christmas day Christmas!

On another note, my husband won't be home for Christmas. We are not making the kids wait an extra day to celebrate the holiday, we are simply going to celebrate two days early.

Best wishes and Merry Christmas!

Well, I think your HUSBAND is mean for saying you are lazy and unreasonable. You're just trying to make your life a little more manageable.

However, this IS another vote for Christmas being on Christmas. Sorry Mom, just look foward to next year when you'll be all settled and comfy, right?

THIS year may be a little tricky, sure, but no, I could not make them wait.

:(

I agree with Rachel and Marda here, and I'm not one that's usually stuck on a calendar date. On this one though.......bah. When you get to the new house it will be nearly completely unpacked. Are you going to make the kids wait while you set up beds, and the essentials, then oh yeah, let's set up the Christmas tree even though Christmas is over (and late)? I say keep your tree, stockings, and have your last Christmas there. Kind of a goodbye to the old house kind of thing. Kids get stressed out during moves too, and there needs to be a little fun, a little light heartedness, a little closure. It's not so hard to take down and box up the tree on the day you're leaving. And yes, have a few toys on hand so that they can play with their new toys while you're trying to set up the new house. A new year, a new house. Your first Christmas in the new house can be a year from now, special and decorated the way you'd want.

Keep Christmas on Christmas and let them open them up in the old house----I think thats too much to expect them to have to wait until you move and get unpacked etc in the new house. Let them open them on Christmas!

how sad!! I think that your husband is right and the gifts should be opened at your house. Christmas is the 25...not the 28th! While it certainly makes SENSE to do what you want to do the kids are not going to understand that. I don't think you are being lazy and I certainly don't think your husband is coddling the kids. My opinion...open the gifts on Christmas day.
L.

Unless the gifts are huge, they should be easy enough to pack up and transport after Christmas. If it's a logistical nightmare, at least give them one gift to open on Christmas although my vote is for them to open everything. Christmas is magical to kids in a way that a lot of us adults forget - it'd be cruel to make them wait!

You want Christmas to come and go and then let your kids open the presents three days later?
No offense, I don't see the point in that.
Your beds are still in the house, you're obviously still sleeping there. What would it hurt to have your last Christmas there?

Moving is a huge pain and I hate it worse than anything. I really do. And, I've moved at Christmas time....twice....but my husband and I always made sure there was Christmas morning for the kids in one place or another.
"Santa" knows where the kids are. That's where the presents should be.

I have to agree with your husband on this one.
Just my opinion.

I don't think you're mean or lazy, but I have to side with your husband and the ladies here. For kids, the date is important. Let them celebrate and open their gifts on Christmas. I know my kids, 7 and 14, would be crushed if I told them they had to wait until the 28th. I hope you find peace and joy during this busy holiday season. :)

if your kids are under 2 and wouldn't know that christmas wasn't on the 28th not mean, but if they are older andknow about Christmas its mean

I think your husband needs to be more supportive and not mean with words. However, its not fair to do that to the kids, especially if every other year since they were born, it was on Christmas that they got there gifts. Its too hard for the younger ones to understand that Christmas can be moved around like that.
When my mom got sick a week before Christmas in 2007, she didnt wake up from surgery and was in a medically induced coma for 4 weeks. One of those weeks was Christmas. All my family lived a ways away. Some even 5 hours. I lived 2 hours away from the hospital. However we made it work. We brought Christmas to the hospital. We all brought food, all our presents, and decorations. My daughter was only 9 months old at the time. My sister had 3 little ones, and still made it. We were allowed to open one gift each in her room. She never re-gained full consciousness, and died on Jan 7. When we decided to take her off the support and bring her out of the sedatives for one last goodbye with her, she was able to repeat only a few things before she died. One of those things was Christmas fun. It was good that we did it and we enjoyed it with others. Inconvenient? yes totally. Tiring, hard work, tedious, pain in the tush? yep. Fun!!! TOTALLY and worth it.
It will give your kids more memories and better appreciation and sentimental value to celebrate one last time in the old house.

yes it's mean.
Let them open gifts on christmas and if it needs to be packed away in a box after that then do it but let them open SOMETHING.

They are still young. Can you let them open something on Christmas morning? I am sure moving on a holiday is not easy, but it doesn't seem fair to ask small children to wait.

Just open the gifts on the 25th - how much more work could it possibly be to pack them up for moving 3 days later after they have been opened? You are still going to have stuff to pack up right up until moving day - let them open their gifts on Christmas, otherwise they may always remember how mean and unreasonable their mom was the year the family moved and they had to wait to open their presents.

I agree to open on Christmas day. Packing wrapped or unwrapped toys is all the same. Have box for each kid to pack up their gifts before the move. Plus this way the trash stays at the old house. You will have plenty after you unpack.

How old are the kiddos?

I get wanting to get the project done and on with, but that seems like a long time for the kids to wait (they've already been waiting since October when the first signs of Christmas appeared in the stores- crazy, I know!)

Is there a compromise? Maybe Santa's gifts on Christmas day and the other gifts after you move?

To be honest, I'd do all the Christmas this weekend, and then move. That way it's not held over on top of packing/moving/unpacking. It takes soooo long to get settled in after a move that having to worry about where the presents are and stop to celebrate, may not be the most productive. (I've moved way more times than I care too!!!) I'd rather have Christmas and be done with it (not meaning to throw Christmas under the bus), and then moving on to your big transition.

I hope you find the peace you need for this very stressful time!!!

I get what you are saying, that it might be easier, but I could never ask my kids to wait any longer for Christmas! I have a hard enough time waiting myself and making kids wait even longer? I couldn't do it! But I don't think you are being lazy!

Good luck and have a great Christmas...wherever that may be!

It will be easier to open the gifts now. It will be difficult to even find those boxes and worry about opening the gifts after you have moved and are stressed with unpacking and putting stuff away, and your kids being sad and whining about it. Have Christmas opening a few days early if you need too, have a box ready to put some of the gifts in as you open them, so you can get stuff packed quickly.

why can't you just throw the new gifts in the car when you are moving? I would let them open them on Christmas.

Open them on Christmas Eve or Christmas day...making memories is the most important thing, where they open them is not.

I don't think your husband is "coddling them" or being "anti-productive." I think he's on track.

I would give them something to open at the current house. You can keep a few sterlite bins out (you can't pack EVERYTHING before the move anyway...you'll have bedding and what not) and then after presents each child puts it in their bin and that will go to their room when moving day arrives. Pack everything else up in advance, but leave the tree and their presents, IMO. Sometimes magic isn't practical and they are only this little once. It's a bit harsh to take everything about Santa if you aren't moving for a few days after Christmas.

Or allow them to have their big gift at the old house and everything else at the new one.

If you go for option A, consider it presorting the things that need to be packed anyway.

I also agree that a few new toys can keep them entertained while you pack up the last stuff.

You can also say, "OK, DH, but your job is to make sure the tree and presents get packed for the move."

Truth? I think I could call you Scrooge.
You are being unreasonable and unfair to the kids.

You still are living in the house...what is the problem here for opening them Christmas day? It is NOT the kids fault you chose to move or picked December to move. It is CHRISTMAS!!!

Have a small tree (you can pick one up at CVS for $10 already decorated and lit - yeah it's 18" tall but oh well) and open presents CHRISTMAS DAY!!!

You've gotten a lot of answers re- the presents part. I'm just writting to offer good luck with your move, and may you have many happy days in your new house.

Best to you and yours,
F. B.

So sorry to add another "just open them on Christmas day" response, but try to look at it this way - your new house will be a disaster beginning on 12/28 and probably for many days to come. I mean, it's not like you're going to move in and be all unpacked and ready to do Christmas, right? I understand the stress of moving (we've done it a few times) The last time we moved my kids were 2 and 4. We moved the day after Halloween. A bit different from Christmas, but I do have video of us carving pumpkins in a practically empty house. So, have the whole house packed up and leave enough empty boxes for the Christmas gifts to be packed in. Have Christmas. On the 26th start finishing the packing with those few empty boxes you saved. Good luck on your move!

If your kids were a little younger I think you could easily get away with waiting. I don't think you need to even bother with a tree. Lay a blanket on the floor and make it a picnic of sorts. Your kids will love it. It really is about the memories. Moving is stressful already do you really want to hear the kids whining about presents while your trying to concentrate on other things? Plus, as someone else said the new house will be a mess. It will be so much easier to clean up after unwrapping in the old house. You could tell the kids that Santa changed his mind because he knew that they would gladly help pack up their new toys for the move.

If you want to keep the magic of Santa alive for the kids I would do presents on Christmas. Santa would find good little boys and girls no matter where they are. I know moving is really difficult and stressful. I actually just did it with our 3 kids as well so I feel your stress ;) IMOHO, I think doing the gifts are the best way to go :)

Merry Christmas~

I agree with both, I would let them open ONE when you would traditionally open gifts then open the rest when you move. Compromise - it's a great thing.

Could they maybe have their stockings loaded up with little things??

I'm not sure that opening them at the new house-with all the unpacking, is going to be easier? Either way-you're trying to make a memory-that's all that matters.

I understand you have enough on your plate but your children should get their gifts. Christmas is looked forward to all year for children - waiting 1 more second is torture let alone days! Even if you are sitting on a naked floor, they should get to unwrap and enjoy their gifts. Personally, I would find someone's house that I could go to (as to have Xmas decorations). If not, I would get a Charlie Brown type Xmas tree (as in tiny) - decorate it with strung popcorn and cranberries, a paper star on top (that way you can toss the whole thing post Xmas and not worry about packing/moving another thing). Xmas morning make hot cocoa and a nice breakfast and open gifts. Use it is a lesson - you have nothing in your house but you are together and that's what makes Xmas special! You can talk about how others in this world would be so grateful to have just a roof over their heads - not to be a downer but to uplift your kids by showing them how much you all have - mainly each other! Most importantly, you should give your kids the gift of a memorable Christmas! Years from now you will all say, "Remember that Xmas with the tiny tree..." Merry Christmas to you.

I hope that your Christmas and the move went smoothly! Personally, I wouldn't have made the kids wait for a late Christmas. I would have done a more downscale Christmas in terms of gifts, less per person, things that didn't come with tons of small parts, things that are easy to pack up afterward. I would think this would be easier than trying to have a holiday in the midst of the chaos of unpacking and figuring out what boxes the presents are in. The kids know when Christmas is, and your plan was to move three days later. I don't think it was necessary to celebrate on any day other than the 25th, it didn't need to be earlier or later.