Does Anyone Else Think This Is Weird???

I know what you are going through. I went through a similar situation with my fiance. We were best friends for 5 years before we started dating. We dated got VERY serious and he ended it, but we still hung out every day among other things. I moved away for 3 months and we talked almost everyday. i had to move back home he offered me his place though he said he didn't want to get back together. We got intimate sometimes but he still didn't want to be back together. We lived together for a year and half before he started calling me his girlfriend again and began talking about marraige. We always knew we would be together but he needed time. IF you know deep down that you will be together again than go on this vacation. Sometimes what people need is time. I will tell you though that it was the hardest thing i ever had to do letting him do his thing and still being as close as we were. It was worth it in the end. How do you feel deep down? Don't worry about how weird the situation is to other people. It is ultimately up to you to choose whether this is right for YOU.

Ok, I asked a male friend who did this exact thing. You know what he said. He did this and treated her like this even after they were said in done, although he admits he wasn't sure if she knew this (the fact that he saw it as said and done), Because he was comfortable with her. She was still his best friend and he liked being around her. He no longer however wanted to be married to her. He said he realized he didn't anymore and that wasn't fair to either of them. The reason he stopped doing these things with her was they would end up doing intimate things cause it was natural and he would regret it and hurt her. Sad thing is even when he sees her he makes comments about how good she looks now that she has lost alot of weight, she refused or rather didn't lose it when they were married. He still doesn't really want to go back with her. He is just comfortable with her. He was with her since he was 15 and he is now 28. So he says just because he is doing this stuff doesn't mean he still even thinks you have a relationship outside of the kids and a friendship.

My husband had a similar problem with an ex-girlfriend. They were friends after they broke up. They still hung out all the time and had a similar routine to before the breakup. They were so comfortable with one another that they would end up doing intimate things. He would regret it cause he did care deeply for her and didn't want to confuse her and himself for that matter. With them eventually however because they had done so much better over time he asked her if they wanted to start dating again....she screwed it up. So there was hope there. LOL! So two very different perspectives...one that doesn't give much hope the other that does...I hope that you get the one you desire.

A. M,

My question to you is what made you seperate?

M. R

Ok so I have to say this is all very confusing to me as well. First I have to say that my sister in law is doing the same thing with her husband, and I will tell you the same thing I have been telling her...
But first I have to tell you that she is living with her parents with her 6 year old and not helping to pay anything. She expects everyone to do things for her and to babysit all the time... I am not sure what your total situation is, but I would say either you want to be together or not. Figure out what you both want and go with that. IF you are dating others and things like that imaging how your daughter is feeling. I mean my thinking is either you want to spend all your time together or not. Maybe you are ment to be friends and that is great...but when you go places together that means that you don't share a room and do things that a couple does. I guess that my thinking is that I wouldn't want my daughter to have this on and off relationship because I think that if he doesn't want to be with you FINE but there is someone out that that wants to give themselves to you fully and you need to be able to do the same. So in short I am saying that if he doesn't want to be with you and only you then find someone that does and grow and be a family with that person and have a friendship with your (ex)HUSBAND.
GOOD LUCK

I have a friend who went through a similar thing. They were separated for years and never got a divorce. They ended up going back to counsiling and getting back together. I would ask your daughter simply what she sees. It isn't worth staying together for her if your aren't together. Secondly, how did each of you feel while seeing another person? Maybe, you both needed a short new experience after only really being with each other ever. It is a confusing time. I think it might be good to go off for the new year and see what comes of things and maybe you will have time to lay things out on the table when your daughter is sleeping. I wish you the best of luck.

Weird don't discribe it to me it looks like he wants to have his cake and eat it to or that he is stringing you along and expects you to just sit down and take it . pretty much its all the same HE WANTS TO HAVE HIS CAKE AND EAT IT TOO. and even though you love him to death you don't have to take it you are worth more than that. Much more than that no offence but stop and smell the rose and have some respect for your self. I have been there and it killed me to end it but im not a toy to be picked up and played with when ever they want and then they put me down and expect me to be where they left me next time they want to play. AND YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT TOO. Lay it out to him let him know that its all or nothing. IF YOU LOVE HIM LET HIM GO. IF HE COMES BACK HE'S YOURS TO KEEP. IF HE DON'T HE NEVER WAS TO BEGIN WITH. If its true love it will be noone has to force it or try to trap it it just is . nothing can come between or stop TRUE love. PUT your FOOT down dont let him do this to you if he loves you and truely loves you he will come back. HAVE FAITH

Hello I am 42 with a 6 year old son. I am a single parent. His dad left when my son was a baby. He came back a couple of times, just to leave agian. I told him if he wanted to stay he could not leave and come back when ever he felt like it. It is not good for me or my son.
From my experience I needed to know that I could trust him to be there all of the time, not just when he felt like it. I think you need to either break up for good or work hard in having a serious relationship. That would mean both of you wanting to be together and doing it. No part time family. My parents are divorced and we know that they both love us kids. Well that is my two cents worth. I also think it is okay to spend the holidays together. But try to not confuse your daughter to much with how family life will be. She may be only 4 but they are smarter than we give them credit for.
Happy Holidays.

I think especially if your husband is the father of your daughter counseling is worth every penny if both parties will take it seriously. A counselor will know the right questions for the two of you to think about your relationship and if it is good for the two of you to stay together and in what capacity.

I wish you every blessing on your relationship journey! --C.

My husband and I did the same thing. We were together for a year and then seperated. We were apart for three years and then got back together. It took that long for me to realize I really did love him and wanted to spend all of my time with him. We were never legally seperated or divorced. We would spend time together and be intimate and that's how we had our second son. We did do three years of therapy and we still talk to our counselor about some things. It's worth the struggle if you really love the person. I think that fact that you haven't gotten a divorce shows there is still a strong feeling involved. I wish you the best. Good luck.