Today my husband went back to work and my parents (who had been here for a week) went back home. I am devastated! I have felt like crying all day long (but haven't because I don't want to scare my toddler!). Some background - the week before Christmas I was sick and felt very lonely because I didn't leave the house. I'm pregnant and have had a rough time this time around, plus I was sick on top of it, so taking care of my toddler has been hard. Then my parents came and played with her, cleaned up the house some, etc., and made things easier. So I think that's part of why I am so sad - suddenly it's all up to me to get everything done again while hubby is at work. But I always seem to get really sad when company leaves. The house is just too quiet, or something. I've heard lots of people who are happy when they "get their house back" after company leaves. Am I the only one who gets so depressed?
I LOVE to have a houseful of people and it seems quiet and sad when they leave. (Unless it's my MIL, then I exhale and get happy really fast!)
Chin up kiddo!
Oh no. I sing hallelujah! I despise having guests. Can't stand it, avoid it, want to scream. However, I was very sensitive to being alone while pregnant.
...depends on the guest!
HI Wendy,
For me it depends on the company. I totally hear you... When my sister and /or Mom come for a visit, I get really blue after they leave. It's almost easier if they don't come visit because it's so very hard when they go. It doesn't have anything to do with me being unhappy alone or being overwhelmed with my life. My family is very far away and we have a really lovely time when we're together. And I love watching them with my kids and get sad knowing that it could be a year (usually more) before we're together again.
When my in-laws come to visit, I'm not sad at their departure. I'm relieved. I'm not saying that to be mean... just to say that some company I feel completely relaxed with and could probably live with... other I feel on edge with and can't wait to relax when they leave.
There's nothing weird about you :)
I think you may just have some pregnacy blues. When you get big, overworked and no help that may be your problem. Its nice to have help
Well you're needing extra help right now so of course you're not happy to be on your own.
As for how I feel when guests leave? It depends on the guest and how much of a mess there's left when it's all over.
I am the same way. While I sometimes like having the quiet house back I am initially down. i enjoy entertaining and having family and friends around. When they go it can be a sad time so i have found I reflect on the time, enjoy pictures or video and am gratefull for the time we had and look forward to the next.
It depends on the guest. :) But yes, I think that's a normal reaction.
I'm sorry honey. I was sick off and on while pregnant and trying to keep up with our active 3-year-old this time last year. I also often feel a little blue right after the holidays - a let down from the excitement. If you can't get out, do you have some friends nearby who could come over, especially friends with toddlers so your child can play? One way you can cheer yourself up is to start planning and looking forward to your next vacation and holiday, or planning for the new baby. Best wishes.
I jump for joy when my guests leave, but that's just me. Sounds like you arent happy with yourself? I never get bored or lonely. I love being alone just as much as I love being with my husband.
Get out of the house for a little while, weather permitting. Take your toddler to the mall and have lunch in the food court, go to the library or anywhere that will break up your day. Pregnant and post holiday letdown are not a good combination.
Depressed is too strong of a word. You're feeling exactly how a healthy person feels when those they love have to leave. It's ok to be still with that feeling for awhile, then move on. It's also ok to be a little teary-eyed around your toddler. When she asks what you are crying about, you can simply tell her that you miss her grandparents. Sounds like you have a great relationship with your parents, so it stands to reason that you would be sad for a while once they are gone. You will feel better as the days go on. Many of us have been exactly where you are....a hard pregnancy, but older ones to care for and all household responsibillities...that was me with my 4th pregnancy. I had an 18 month old, 3 yr old and 6 yr old. This was 30 years ago, but I still remember very clearly how tiring it was. I have total empathy for you. I also know you will get through it just fine. Try to get yourself and your little one outside in the sunshine we are forecasted for today, (I am in the Shenandoah Valley in VA), get some exercise, and when you find yourself thinking how sad and lonely you are, redirect your thoughts to how wonderful it was to have hubby and parents with you, give thanks for all you have, and make plans for small fun activites in the near future.
It depends. I am usually doing the rain dance when guests leave :) because i get the house back to myself, or i am busy cleaning the aftermath.
i haven't seen my parents in a long time now so i would feel like you are right now, but usually, company is great, but getting things back to normal is even better :)
This happened to me when my daughter was an infant. Now that she is a toddler and in a Mom's Day Out program, the feeling is almost gone (though not completely). I think there is something lonely and unsettling about being left on your own to be the person in charge and the one responsible for "filling up" all the hours in the day. These days we are so isolated. Many people have families that live in other states and even our closer friends and neighbors may spend their days at work just in contact with us via email or texting -- there's little actual face time. I found this loneliness and "aloneness" one of the hardest things about being a stay-at-home mom, and I completely understand your comment about the house being too quiet. I felt the same. I think what helped me most was meeting some other mothers with kids my age in my neighborhood. We started to meet almost weekly for play dates, and this really made me feel less alone. Please hang in there and know that this feeling won't last forever.
Nope a sigh of relief & I get to cleaning...
No you are not. You enjoyed the company, nothing wrong with that. Go ahead and cry, make yourself feel better, but don't stay in that frame of mind for too long.
You're not alone-it happened to me, too. Only two of my adult children came home for Christmas-and one lives with me right now-when the two kids left, I cried like a baby. My oldest son in NY couldn't make it-neither could oldest daughter, SIL and world's most adorable Grandchild :( Being pregnant, and having the hormone levels increasing, being sick-taking care of a little one, etc is overwhelming. Some of what you're feeling might also be seasonal-it's tough when the days are short-and where I live-it snows almost everyday. Turn on the lights, throw in a wash, make a pot of soup and play and nap with baby-and things will get better!
Many of our close friends live out of the state or country. I am overjoyed when they visit. Having an adult in the home to talk, laugh, cry, clean and cook, play music, share food, go the the store, play with the kids...for me, is a blessing. I am always sad when one of them leaves. But excited for the next visit.
You are not alone. I know just how you feel, especially since you are pregnant, were sick, and your parents were so helpful. My parents live only a few miles away and I still feel sad when they are not around. I was pregnant this time last year and I think the winter is a really hard time especially with a toddler. I hope the weather is much better this year than last so you can keep some sort of a life outside the home for your sanity. I felt REALLY isolated and lonely being stuck at home with my daughter when I was pregnant, plus you are exhausted as well. I second the recommendation of getting out and having a change of pace and scenery to help get you over this blue time. (Also, keep an eye on your mood once the baby arrives. I felt blue during my second pregnancy and then develped some post-partum depression which I didn't have at all with my first. Take care of yourself because that is the only way you can care for your kids too.) I hope I am not being offensive or preachy but I felt very similar to what you are describing and once I got help (ie visiting a psychiatrist and getting meds) I feel so much better!
Congratulations on your new one on the way and good luck!
Mixed bag.
Some sadness and usually some sighs of relief that you no longer have to keep on your "happy face" 24/7. Let's face it, when you have guests for more than 48 hours or so, you REALLY don't have any privacy. You can't ask your spouse "are you sure there isn't something on your mind?" because even if there is, they aren't going to tell you in front of guests or rudely disappear and leave your guests all alone to have a heart-to-heart behind closed doors. And during the holidays there is a lot of stress that can pile on a person. It can be very hard having people in your home (family or not). But it is also a little bit of a let down that the "special" time is over when they have packed up and backed out of the driveway... like the holiday is over, and the hum-drum rat race has resumed....
