Do Your parents/In-Laws Think You're a Good Parent?

My parents compliment me all the time.
My inlaws, well both yes and no - they disapprove of my techniques and think I'm too strict but at the same time they're impressed with the results.

My parents certainly think I am on the right track to be a good parent. They give me (and hubby too) a small praise if we handle something well, and they do not hesitate to offer advice to me, and sometimes subtly to hubby also, if they think we can handle something differently or in a better manner.
My in-laws are a slightly different story. They're highly conventional in their thinking (hubby and me are pretty liberal), and by nature they're not known for expressing much encouragement or support, even to their sons when they were kids. They've never complained about our parenting skills so far, but they don't say a 'good job' as well. MIL likes to blow her own trumpet now and then, and tries to hint that I'd do a better job if I followed her example. I take it with a pinch of salt, follow anything useful in her advice, and discard the rest. :)

My parents and ILs are very complimentary of our parenting. They tell us to our faces, and they compliment our parenting in conversations with others.

Who knows what they say behind my back but yes, I think both my parents and my MIL think I'm a good parent. They've all said so and rarely criticize. Ironically, my mother who can't stop worrying about me, says I worry about my kids too much and I should take more time for myself!

I've caught wind of some things my mom has said behind my back about my parenting...not nice and not true. Which is actually funny coming from her since my grandparents raised me from birth to age five because she was 19 and not married. And then when she got me at age 5, I was with a babysitter full time because she worked nights so I never saw her for several more years. Yet at every opportunity she screams of what a "great baby she had" and how I never gave her any problems...ever. Uh ya, thank your parents for that as YOU had no involvement at all. So I'm always confused on when she says these things when she didn't even raise me. Sorry for rambling, not even sure if that answers the question or not! LOL!!! =) But I am a very different parent than she was and my kids are being raised very differently (for the better IMO) than I was.

My parents and entire family feel that my husband I are great parents. My mom has commended me on my parenting style many times over the years. My MIL well I know I will never be good enough ever for her as a mother to my own children. However, my FIL believes the way we parent is fine as it works for us.

I do a few things differently but it is also due to having one special needs child whereas neither my parents nor ILs did. I expect more out of my children than what was expected out of me however it is due to the fact that I know of and encourage their capabilities.

Mom was psycho and no she did not think I was a good mom and made sure I knew that whenever possible. Of course her idea of good parenting was making sure I knew I wasn't a good kid whenever possible.

Pretty much I did the opposite of everything she did.

My dad thinks I am a great mom though he has voiced that opinion more since my mom died. :s

My in laws don't know me well enough to say. My kids grandparents, well grandma wasn't thrilled I chose not to raise narcissists like she did but her husband likes my kids more than his own.....

My mother never compliments me in any way, shape or form. She doesn't say I did/am doing a bad job, but she certainly doesn't say I'm doing anything right.

My Mom thinks I'm a great parent and my sister is a horrible parent.
My in laws are deceased.
My husbands parents were very hands off and my husband wants to be more involved than they were (and he is).
My Mom raised us herself while working and working on her masters degree.
It wasn't easy but she did the best she could with what she had.
I think we were raised alright but my sister thinks her childhood was a horror.
My niece has truancy problems (my sister doesn't get her to school and/or doesn't wake her up for it all through elementary school), is all about friends and barely passes grade after grade and my sister is ok with it.
My son is a straight A student, 1st chair in clarinet, 2nd Don black belt in taekwondo and reads at a college level in the 7th grade.
I don't get it.
My sister and I were raised in the same house the same way and the differences between us are like day and night.

I feel like we get a lot of support, from both my in-laws and my father and his wife.

I do most things differently than from how I was raised, mainly because I was raised by crazy, self-absorbed people, to put it lightly. (I have no contact with them now, which probably explains our stunning "parenting approval" rating from family we do have in our lives.) I was raised by my mom and her third husband for the most part, who pretty much blamed everything on me. (I'm pretty sure I'm also responsible for Skylab falling out of the sky... and yes, I know that dates me!) So, by not scapegoating my son and only holding him accountable for things I've actually witnessed/know for certain, that's a big one right there. He's not held responsible for my bad mood or because my husband and I are having an off day together...

I also try very hard to use playful/positive parenting methods first, to empathize and listen as well as to correct behavior, and to let him know that I love him, no matter what. I think the unconditional love part is so important, for him to know that while I don't always enjoy his actions, I enjoy *who* he is and try to actively support his interests, to listen to his feelings without trying to change them, and to give him lots of positive attention when he's busy playing or doing something that gives him satisfaction. I want him to know that he is a valuable member of our family and belongs with us.

By the way, I think your husband is really smart to let your son be responsible for his schoolwork. Better to learn that one early, than to become an adult who wonders why 'no one reminded me'.:)

We didn't have a lot growing up and neither did my husband so we have made it a point for our kids not to feel like we did. My mom says we get them too much but that's life. My mom has no problem telling me when she thinks I should do somethign different. But will sometimes tell me I am doing a good job.

Very few people actually come out and tell me whether or not they approve, so I don't know. My mother's husband is pretty open and vocal when he thinks I need to cut the attachment that my toddler has to me (because he prefers me to others for comfort) or let him eat cinnamon rolls and ice cream sandwiches (zero tolerance for "sweets" right now) and stop nursing him already (let him eat "real food"). My mother wishes that he would look to her more for comfort and spend the night with her more often. I think that she wishes I would relax a bit. I can't help that, though. I am a person who naturally considers EVERYTHING; I can't just shut my brain off, so I roll with it. I'm not anxious or anything...just conscientious. I guess I haven't thought about whether or not others think that I'm good or bad. I care about what my husband thinks because we are partners. I have actually thought about that. When we are on the same page, I couldn't care less about what someone else thinks. (I might consider bringing someone else in to break a tie, but that's only to learn what's considered typical and why. It doesn't sway me.) I have very specific reason for the things that I do for my child. It is all very deliberate, so I don't have much room to consider whether someone else who doesn't know my motivations or goals thinks that I'm on point.

Oh, it just occurred to me that I think that my paternal grandmother thinks that I am doing a great job. My maternal grandmother was really singing my praises during my pregnancy because it was planned and we were bringing our baby into a loving, well-thought-out situation.

I make it a point to really know my baby--get inside his little head--and give him what he needs versus what I didn't get as a child. Sometimes those are the same thing, of course, but I try to use my experience and memories to be sensitive to him and be led by what I see that he needs.

ETA: My mother has told me that I have done well to nurse for so long. I think that she's over that by now, though--lol.

My family was very poor growing up and my mother never worked. I constantly get criticized for having a job. To my family working is not a good reason to be away from your children. I do however try to take some of the very special things that my mother did with us and incorporated it into our lives now. (Ex: Having birthday parties for my stuffed animal/imaginary friends)

I do think that the best you can do is chose the things you loved about your childhood and pick the things you would like to change...

yes. my ILs are fairly high-maintenance but very sweet and loving and they adore me. they think my boys are the bees' knees and give us all the credit for it (which is largely unearned- i think david and i just got really, really lucky.)
i'm more involved in my kids' lives than my parents were. i always felt completely loved, and never really wanted my parents to 'play' with me or nose around more, i learned and appreciated self-sufficiency. and i've tried not to micro-manage my kids too much, to let them have some semblance of the freedom i enjoyed as a child. but i have enjoyed being more a part of my kids' lives than my parents were of mine, which was sort of mandatory when we homeschooled<G>. for example, my parents didn't stay and watch my riding lessons, and once i was old enough to take the bus, i don't think they ever watched me ride, not even at shows. but i was always at my kids' ball games, and took them to volunteer opportunities and worked there with them, that sort of thing. like my parents i didn't so much play with them (so not interested in teenage mutant ninja turtles, just dated myself didn't i?) but i did do a lot of 'stuff' with them.
interesting question.
:) khairete
S.

Interesting, but I don't measure my parental skills by the approval or disapproval of others, even my own parents. We all approach things differently and that's ok. I think it is natural to be concerned with how people view our parenting approach, but we can't become consummed with it because you can't please everyone. However, a nice compliment every now and then is great, but if you depend on compliments to measure yourself, then that would not be good. I think I do ok, as a parent. Still learning since the kid didn't come with an instruction manual.