Do Your Children Address You by Your First Name? If So, How Did That Happen?

I don't judge what works for other families. If you're not offended and even like it, then it's not rude. Personally, my preteens don't even call me mom. They still say mommy. I call my mother Ma or Mother, and my mother called her mother Mommy her whole life - still refers to her as Mommy and she's almost 80. To me, that's sweet. I don't insist that they call me Mommy, but I don't like "mom" (although if they prefer that, especially in front of friends, it's fine) but I couldn't tolerate first name. I hate when other people's children call me by first name - it's Mrs. or Dr. (I have my Ph.D.), but not first name.

No. My kiddos have always called me 'mom' (or mother when they were angry).

Additionally, they called my long term gentleman friend 'Mr. First Name'. When we became engaged, my then 17 year old son asked if he had to call him 'dad'. I said "No, but you can start calling ME 'Mrs. New Last Name" lol!

***ETA***

What makes this truly funny is that my fiance's last name was the SAME as MY first name!!!

The only time they call me by my name is when they try to get my attention and I don't respond to "Mom" the first 10 times they say it, lol.

nope. nor would i care for it.
but if you don't mind, it's awfully presumptuous for other people to 'correct' your kids when they address their own parents.
khairete
S.

My ex-husband wanted our daughter to call us by our first names. I put the kibosh on that IMMEDIATELY....not only NO but HECK NO!!! Our daughter does NOT need us to be friends or equals - she needs PARENTS.

From where I stand? Your daughter no longer sees you as the "authority" figure, she sees you as an equal or friend. This will lead to problems in the future, in my opinion.

My boys? Nope. I am Mom or Mommy. Period. End of Story.

Good luck!

If she is about 4 or 5, it sounds like she is becoming aware that you guys actually have names (and identities outside of being a parent) for the first time. So she is just trying them out herself. she probably won't keep up with it unless you encourage it and continue to refer to each other by name around her. If you want to reverse it, you can just make sure you are always calling eachother what you want her to call you.

Sounds like a developmental thing, a new awareness she is processing.

I do agree there is something inherent in the titles "mom/mommy" and "dad/daddy" that signify the relationship and respect (and endearment) that should be in place.

No, our kids call us Mom/Mommy and Dad/Daddy. That is who we are to them. We have our kids address adults as Ms. First Name and Mr. First Name In my mind, this is just a gesture of respect and good manners.

Happened for a very brief time when he got to the age that he noticed my husband and I called each other by name. We explained why. He stopped and went back to calling us mom/dad.

Correct it. It happens, and you correct it. She is not an adult, and though it may be "cute", it's not respectful. She is NOT your peer - which are the people who call you by your first name. She is your CHILD.

Our daughter only uses our given names when introducing us.
I love that she calls us mom and dad.

I still call my mother mama and my father daddy. So do a lot of the people I know.

If it does not bother you, then not any of our business. If you do not like it, just tell her.

Our daughter still comments it freaks her out a little to hear her college friends speak to us and about us using only our first names.

Could be because we live in the south and we use the Mr. Mrs. forever when speaking about others parents. Even her old classmates from Elem - HS still call us Mr. and Mrs. out of habit.

There was 1 time she called out my first name and it is when she could not get my attention in a situation where she really, really needed my instant attention.

Wow I wouldn't like that at all! Seems way too familiar to me, as if she sees you as peers rather than parents. I'm sure that's not the case but are you sure you really want to start down that road at such a young age? Just seems super disrespectful :-(

I think it's disrespectful for your child to call you by your first name. My 15 yo still calls me mommy and I think it's sweet and endearing. I watch Wendy Williams and she calls her parents mommy and daddy and she just turned 50. I think that's awesome. So no, my kids have never called me anything other than a form of mom and never will. Good luck.

My daughter only does if we're in a crowded area. Because yelling "mom" or "dad" will get a lot of heads turning, but yelling our name will get our attention better.

I'm surprised a K teacher would actually encourage kids to call adults by their first names. That wouldn't fly with me, or probably with most adults in this area. Maybe it's a Southern thing, or the fact I'm older. I find it very disrespectful, but in that case it's not the children's fault, clearly.

It's cute for your child to call you by your name a time or two after something like that, but are you really OK with being called by your name by your child from now on? Maybe she'll just drop it quickly if you've been having her address you as mommy and daddy (or variations on that) before this one odd day at kindergarten. If she persists, consider whether you really want to be called Firstname by her for good. If you don't want her to, it's time to start correcting her gently every time, or telling her you can't respond to her unless she calls you mom.

I can tell you that many other parents and many adults who aren't parents find the first-name-parent practice grating. To be honest, to me it smacks of a family where the parents are trying hard to be the child's friend, possibly at the cost of the kid's respect for them as parents. .I'm not saying this is your case at all! But it is how others may interpret it unless they know you very well already.

I admit I'm prejudiced against the practice partly because our niece, 14, has pretty much always addressed her parents by their first names and I know that in their family, it's a reflection of how she has always been treated as a smaller adult and allowed to do and say what she pleases. She now considers herself equal to her parents in every decision, and treats her mom in particular very condescendingly, and her mom is paying a price for that now. Yes, I know it's this one family's issue and isn't going to apply to other families. But it's why I personally find the first-name thing so grating; I associate it with allowing the child to act like an adult from far too early on, because I've witnessed it for years now. Again, not your case, but you might find others who have had similar experiences are the ones correcting your child or asking why she uses your first names. (Nope, never corrected our niece. She would have only said, from an early age, that we have no right.)

If you do decide you want your daughter to call you by first names from now on, please make a decision about whether you will let her call all adults by first names, especially when she first meets them. That will have some impact on how other adults regard her and you if you are new acquaintances.

My own child calls adults by Mr. or Mrs. or whatever honorific is appropriate. Some very close family friends are "Auntie" Name or just first name occasionally, but these are close adults and she knows she has permission to call them that. She knows to assume that all other adults including good friends' parents are called Mr. or Ms. Lastname unless she is told otherwise and then she would probably still call them "Miss Judy" and not "Judy." Old-fashioned, I know.

My kids did this when they heard lots of family calling us by our first name. We explained that while those our our names they should only call is by mom dad etc. It only took a couple times.

Unsure if your okay with your dd calling you by name for the rest of your life.

My kids don't address me by my first name, but they do introduce me to people (friends, friends parents, teachers) by my first name. Where I am from calling adults by their first name is the norm, but it would be unusual to call your own parents by their first names.

I wouldn't find it amusing.
I spent a long time being just <my first name>.
"Mom/Mommy/Mama" is a title that it took a long time to achieve - I highly value it - and I take it seriously.
My husband values "Dad/Daddy/Dada" as well.
Teachers call me Mrs <my last name> - I don't know them well enough to be on a first name basis.
We are not friends/family/neighbors/co-workers.
We are acquaintances that I only know for about 10 months (in high school it's only 5 months before classes/teachers all change around) and then we both move on.
If they want to be called by their first name I'll still say Miss/Mrs Sally because I'M not comfortable calling them by their first name.
Teachers do not tell other kids to call me by my first name - it's not their call to make.

My 17 yr old son calls us by our first names. Started when he was 6. We thought it was a phase and ignored it. Turns out it wasn't a phase. When we asked him why he call us by our names, he said "That's your name, isn't it?" He's on the Autism Spectrum and that kind of logic is something we can't argue against with him. So we let it go. And it really doesn't bother us. I think if he ever called me "mom", I'd fall over in surprise. When he talks about us to other people, he does say "my mom" or "my dad". And there WAS one time I had to explain to someone that I was his mother and not his step-mother, even though he called me by my first name. That happened once in the 11 years he's been calling me "K.".

We have two daughters who do call us "mommy" and "daddy" so I get plenty of "Mommmmyyyyyy, where's my shirrrrrt?" or "Maaamaaaaa, can you drive me to Sydney's hooouuuuuse?"

I doubt it has anything to do with a kindergarten teacher calling visiting parents by their first name.

You need to ask yourself if you are a parent that thinks everything she does is perfect and amazing. Are you the parent that thinks it is cool that their child hits mature milestones early. I only ask this because there is one type of parent that other parents correct for using first names and this is the type of parent.

See that type of parent sees their kid using first names and thinks oh my precious snowflake is so mature. Everyone sees that kid and think that presumptuous brat. There are things that most people feel comes with age and maturity, swearing is one, calling people by their first name is another.

I will use my older daughter as an example since she is the only of my four that will call an adult by their first name in all cases. She is 24 by the way. When she was 14 she asked would it bother you if I called you by your first name instead of mom. Nope, wouldn't bother me. She would still call all adults by their first name. Here is where it gets interesting, because she was polite and mature most of her teachers and parents of her friends would tell her call me (first name).

I guess I am saying a lot of adults do not like this idea that an 8 year old thinks they are an equal because they are not.

How did my daughter come about calling me by my first name? She asked. Oh, by the way, even at 24 when she meets a new friend of mine, she still calls them Mrs. ...... until she is invited to do otherwise. I expect nothing less from my children.

Oh yeah, forgot my point, you may think it is cute, acceptable, but I am going to bet she is calling other adults by their first name as well. That is disrespectful if they were not invited to do so. Perhaps you need to explain having respect for adults.

nope. And the only time I address my mom or dad by their first names is when we are out and about and I need to get their attention. Say "mom" and 45 moms turn around. lol
My friend in high school used to call her mom and dad by their first names, it was so weird to me! I couldn't. They would always correct me, no no...call me Sarah. Um, nope. Sorry Mrs. Smith, I can't.

I wouldn't personally like it if they did. But if you're okay with it, then I don't think it's rude.

Mine is grown now, and calls me Mom, Mama, or Woman. I don't mind Woman because it's never said in a nasty way. If she wanted to call me by my first name, it wouldn't bother me.
I don't care what people call me, as long as it's not done in a rude manner.

And if YOU are ok with your daughter calling you by your first name, then no one else should have anything to say about it.

ETA: I don't see how kids calling parents by first names is "disassociating" from the family because it's a name and not a relationship title. I call my kid by her first name, not "Daughter," "Offspring," or "Spawn."

I think there's a positive side to a child knowing what her parents' names are - think of all the times a kid has to provide that info (when lost, for example) and can only say, "Her name is Mommy."

If she's not saying it in a disrespectful way, I wouldn't get all upset about it.

I don't think the K teacher should have introduced parents by their first names - she should have asked individuals or just used the title and the surname. I think it's presumptuous especially since I doubt the teacher herself wants to be called that by children. So perhaps she has led the children down a bad path here.

I think you can decide how you feel about it. It wouldn't be my choice but I'm not you. I would stop short of allowing her to call just anyone by their first names though - introduce them as Mr. X or Ms./Mrs. Y, or Dr. Z. If she uses their first names, correct her immediately and let her know it is disrespectful and that she must call people by the names they wish to have her use.

If you think this is a phase, you can let it go. Otherwise you have to decide now that you aren't going to answer unless she calls you Mom and Dad. If other people try to correct her and you don't wish for the behavior to change, just look them in the eye and say, "I've got this, thanks."

My kids don't, but I wouldn't have an issue if they did. AS long as it's not something completely disrespectful, like dumb as*, it's just a name.

Interesting responses.

My son has occasionally tried out using our first names. He's seven. I really don't care, my husband, on the other hand, corrects him and rather chafes at it.

When I volunteer at the school, I let the teacher 'name' me. When I help out in the kindergarten class (I loved my son's K teacher), she calls me by my first name. When I work in the library, the librarian instructs the kids to address me as Mrs. Wheeler and in my son's class, the teacher refers to me as "Joaquin's Mom", which I think is silly but it makes the relationship concrete for the kids. My son addresses adults as I direct him to-- some like the formal Mrs/Mr/Miss, some prefer a simple Miss or Mr before their first name and some are fine with the first name alone. I go with what the adult prefers and will ask if I'm unsure. Often how the other adult addresses ME is a great cue.

Both kids tried it at one point (around age 4) and we corrected them. We said No, you call me Mom. I'm your Mom. No, that is your Dad, you don't call him by his first name. Some good friends are older parents and have only one child. He started calling them by their first names and they thought it was cute and did not correct him. Now my friend is sad that her only child never calls her Mom.

I really would not like that at all. We are "John & Jane Doe" to the rest of the world, but to our children we are Mom & Dad. It's a special bond that deserves a little more than what the rest of the world calls us. Just my opinion though, so your child, your decision :)

My older daughter calls my husband by his first name, as it is not her natural father. The second child (which is his), asked why she called him y his first name and the explanation had no ring of reality to it, so she said okay...and called me by my first name.

She was being cute and still calls me mom, but she sure turned the tables in her own little way.

Our kids are 26 and 22. We are mom and dad. The only time they call us by our names are when we don't respond to "mom and dad" and they want our attention. Our son would say my name and I would say "hey that's Mom to you"!!! He would just laugh.

When they are sick, I'm "mommy". =) When our daughter wants something she calls "daddy". =)

when my son was about 7 he began calling me by my first name... it just seemed to happen naturally. It didn't bother me because I thought, well if that is what he feels comfortable calling me, then so be it.. however, it was only for a short spell because now he calls me mamma and has been for quite some time.. I do have a friend who has always referred to her parents by their first names. I think it's kinda funny...

My daughter is 2 years and 4 months old. She recently learned our names, and began yelling for "J." or "John" a few months ago instead of yelling for mommy or daddy. We find it funny and cute, and we tell her that yes, mommy's name is "J." and daddy's name is "John," but that she needs to call us mommy/daddy.

No, my children have never addressed us by our first name. Nor have they tested it out. I think it's a little weird, honestly, that a child would choose to disassociate themselves as your family by calling you by your first name.