Do You Think You Give Good Advice on Here?

Rachel:

I love the advice you give!!! I don't think you've been "unfriendly". I think you have called it like you see and, like me, you don't sugar coat it!!!

I have received some WONDERFUL advice on here - especially on Friday with the death of one of my family members...

Do I think I give good advice? hhhmmm...good question. I know I give heartfelt advice based on my life experiences, morals and convictions. For some? it's great? For others? Nope. they don't like it. But that's the beauty of this site - you can either take or leave it....

I don't usually chime in unless I have first hand experience with the particular issue. So, as a result, it's pretty good advice because the answer has come from my personal experience...been there, done that! :)

I try to give good advice. I know I give honest advice. I try to not come off harsh, although sometimes I feel very passionate when answering some questions. The questions that I know I am NOT going to be tactful I will just skip. I tend to be a hot head and when people are rude it really pisses me off. So rather then engage I will just skip. For the most part I think all of the women on here are very caring, non judgmental, and wonderful. Great post!!

I sure hope so. I educate myself constantly on all sorts of topics, parenting being one of my favorites.

I really work over my answers, in an attempt to be fair, open-minded and non-offensive, but then I'm often worried that I've been too wordy or academic. But that still meets my needs better than just snapping off an answer. I don't like being thoughtless or rude or hurting some stranger's feelings.

I also like reading other answers when I have time. Sometimes I go back a day or two later to catch up. There's always something new to learn, or some angle I haven't considered yet.

I think it's too subjective to say. If we share our experiences with no guile in our hearts, then it's as good as it gets.

I know that mine has been received wrong a few times, and maybe I could have written it better. But, it is what it is. I think my advice is usually pretty good. I'm sure we ALL think that, ha.

I try to give good advice on topics that i have some expertise in or some personal experience that I could share. There are some questions that I think have already been adequately answered, so unless I have another view or another suggestion, I usually pass on those. I don't ask questions too often, but I appreciate others taking the time to answer or comment on my questions. I do learn a lot from this site about our society in general --our problems and our priorities.

I do my best to consider the question, then take into consideration my own personal experience, think of other people and try to come up w/plausible, helpful answers.
So I'd like to think my advice is good, sound advice.
I try very hard to accomplish this.
And thanks to all of you for YOUR great advice.
I've received lots of it. :)

Hell no. I give terrible advice. If *I* begin telling someone what *they* should do, I hope they plug their ears and walk away.

I used to give a LOT of terrible advice, because I thought I knew what other people should do, how they should do it, and when. Sometimes, I still forget I'm not writing a book called, "Your life according to me," and I try to tell folks what they should be doing. *Sigh*.

I am a pretty good listener though. I've been developing better communication skills. I'm also pretty good at identifying barriers and trouble shooting around them. I can collect information / resources / network like a bat out of hell. I'm a harm reductionist (one of my real life roles), so I am fairly capable of holding space for someone who is making their OWN choices, and helping to name them. I'm also pretty good at helping to create safety plans. Sometimes I can share my own experience with clarity and compassion and that's helpful for me - and sometimes to other people too.

I would imagine there are some out there that are just mean and like being mean. I really can't think of a single person that fits the bill on this site.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, sometimes I do but the person is not receptive to the idea they may be wrong. Sometimes I am less than nice about how I present it but that is usually when it is personal to me.

I sometimes truly wonder if people realize that the way they word questions can be very upsetting to people that read them. Ya know the I don't understand why people don't parent exactly like I do, do they realize how much they are hurting their kids? That is not a question that is a judgment. People tend not to answer judgments in a nice way.

I know I do. I give the best advice of anyone,... ever.

I think I give good advice mostly. I'm never mean. But sometimes I change my view on a situation after i've given my advice.

Interesting question. Good advice is subjective, and I don't really think anyone would say they give bad advice..I give the advice I would want someone to tell me if I were in that situation. Sometimes I pose questions to the OP to help them get their gears turning, because I occasionally need that as well to help my own train of thought. I try not to be mean or rude, although I do make light of some situations to lighten the mood. People can take my advice for what it's worth to them. I do the same.

I think "good advice" is in the eye of the beholder... or question asker, question respondent.

I give the advice that *I* think is good, although, like you, OP, I think I can tend to come across as a little harsh sometimes (sorry if I have ever hurt or offended anyone). I am not a huge "sugar coater", so it can come across as mean when I am not like that IRL.

For some, "good" advice is the advice that is in line with your way of thinking, and for others, honest, personal experience type of advice is good.

Yes......i get lots of validation/flowers......:)

But them sometimes i REALLY take my time and pour out everything i know on something in particular and get no flowers, lol.

I have received some very thoughtful, insightful advice on this site, and I appreciate it very much.
Do I give "good advice"?
I think so. LOL
I wouldn't willingly waste the time and effort giving what I would perceive as "bad advice" and, most likely, niether does anyone else.
I would bet that we all *think* we give good advice!
Kind of like the line in When Harry Met Sally..."Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn't possibly all have good taste."

I think the worthiness of my advice is in the eye of the beholder.

In the real world, my friends seem to think I give good advice because I am asked for it--and thanked for it--regularly. However, Real World advice is different than MP advice. I have the advantage of knowing the persons, their histories, the longer story and the bigger picture. Here, sometimes people don't really give enough context or background--and sometimes don't even know what they want to ask, until they don't like the answers they receive, and then they might post more precisely. Or, they might tell their audience off.
It all depends...

I wrote a post on my blog about giving advice last month. I think one of the challenges on MP is that there are people who need to be told "you might want to see a counselor about this" (just as there are people in real life that might need it, because their problem is beyond the scope of the average friend's help), and because we have no back history, no real grounded relationship, that advice is going to sting, hurt, or seem really presumptuous.More so than in person. So, I might go out for drinks with a friend who has been crying over her jerk boyfriend for months and suggest a counselor, or I might read a post and suggest a counselor, and while I might be telling them both the same thing, there isn't the buffer of love and care there that my real life friend is going to get. Sorry.

I am finding that I do need to skip right over some questions that I may not give a nice answer to. I cannot help myself thought sometimes. I have a feeling I am very different from a lot of the "stepford" wives on here.

However, I do receive feedback and "flowers" and I do give some great advise on certain subjects.

I don't know if it's what others consider good advice, but in my experiance, it's good.... It's what I have found and used and it's how I have gotten through things. The advice that I have recieved on here is just that.... experiance from others lives... I don't view that as good and bad... just advice... I take what I want, find what works and move on.

Different strokes for different folks. :-)

I would like to think so.

I hard to say whether it is insightful, right on.....or just hitting the right nerve with people.

I know I can ramble. Which can make it very hard to get my point across.

I try and bounce things off the hubby first(if he is here)....I will go back and reread things to him to make sure I sound articulate. Or if there was a certain topic he would find interesting and I THINK my advice is good.

I can only hope my advice is good. I have been here a long time now..so people know me fairly well, so the surprise factor on certain topics, is almost non-existent. But i think that is good...especially for us regulars that hash out alot of the same arguments, because after awhile, I can handle the way some people see things. I get that to each their own and sometimes there will be things we just do not see eye to eye on. I do not personally dislike anyone for the differences we may have.

And as my husband(who is sitting reading over my shoulder)just added a good thought...''Opinion, is not really advice''....it is more of stating your interjecting thoughts on a matter...and if someone happens to pick up on it...and take something from it! Then YAY!

I think I give "honest" advice... So I guess it's up to the person who wrote the question, to answer if it was good or not :0)

No idea.

I share my experience and observations and education and screwups and victories. Whether or not those will actually HELP someone (aka be 'good' advice), is anyone's guess! We all have so very different lives and personalities that not everything translates.

Well yeah....I try to... I am sure that everyone here tries to give good advice. Really...who would say "Today I am going to give some folks that I don't know personally some advice that really sucks..."

hmmm, I prefer to give honest answers. I know that when I hit "post" my response will not always be welcome....but at least I know that I've done my personal best at being honest & open. & hopefully....helpful. Peace!

I give the best advice that I can give. Whether the person getting it believes it is good advice is subjective and their own decision. I am not hurt if my advice is not what they need. Not everything works for everyone and not everyone is going to agree with me.
I do my best to offer advice if I can do it in a nice manner. If it's something that sets my buttons off I don't answer or I come back to it when I can be civil. I don't try to answer something that I don't really have a clue what I'm talking about.
I hope that there are at least some people that have found advice I've given to be helpful.

I like to think I give good advice. I do find that every once and a while I wonder why a mama has put herself or her child in a situation but I do all I can to be encouraging but direct. We are all on here for the same reason and it is counter-productive to bash each other.

I give advice from my own experience and am glad that posters have a chance to read my response along with others, then figure out for herself what will work for her.

I try to!! I put a lot of thought into most of my responses. Sometimes I think of the person and their question all day and then get back to them later. For the most part, I have received very thoughtful and kind responses to my questions...and others that I just dismiss and think they must be having a bad day.

Good luck and best wishes!

I think I'm with you. I try to, and I think most of the time I probably do. Some of the time, though, I'm probably completely useless. LOL Interesting question. =)

I try to. I do spend quite a bit of time (probably too much sometimes) thinking of thoughtful, honest, and practical answers. I only respond when I really feel I know enough about the topic. I try to make my answer both intelligent and respectful of the person's feelings. I know I don't like it when people are rude or disrespectful to me, so I try to never come across that way.

I try to give the best ideas I can if a question pertains to me. When I annswer, I go back and re-read what I said. I will not type an answer and it be something that I would not say to your face. I will not hide behind a computer screen and lash out at anyone.

If I say it in writing here, I will say it to your face. That is just how I am.

I know some people have not liked what I've said due to hate mail I have received but I just let that roll off my back.

If everyone had the same opinioins, same advice, this would be a boring place.

I try. I hone in to the person as best as I can and go from there. We're all human and make mistakes and I'm sure there are certain times I could've reworded things. I like to think I'm helping. But people are going to do what they're going to do, we're not here to fix anything or anyone. But it is a group about advice and so you take your chances either way whether giving or receiving. I think the most important thing is to keep my motive as high as I can. And sometimes it's just about offering a bit of your own experience. I usually just go with what comes out for that particular individual and not double think it or else I get too wound up and second guess myself too much. I've counseled many people over the years and feel I usually have something to offer. I really think this is a good group of people trying to help each other. Love when people ad their sense of humor. Sending the Best Thoughts to Everyone

If I thought it was bad I would not post it.

I don't know - it may be for others to say. One may give the best advice one can, and the recipient of the advice may hate it.

But I try. I try to think before I type, and I try to communicate what I want to say and not what I don't want to say.

It's interesting that someone may post a question - say, about how her child was treated by one of those evil mothers-in-law - and some of the answers will be to the posted question, some will treat on the nastiness of MILs in general, and some will focus on who is or is not over-reacting! A lot of it has to do with what readers' nerves are touched by the question. We all know how the same thing happens when we talk to our friends and neighbors; I think it's heightened here by this format of anonymity.

And I skip a lot of questions! There are many questions that are on subjects I don't feel qualified to address - and others that turn my face red. :^o

Exactly what you said. :)

I certainly always try my best to.

Some of us have experience or expertise to share. If I don't think I can help, I don't post an answer.

Doubt it. I try to do the best I can. If I read a question and not sure what to say, I'll just skip. I am a good listener. I usually think of something to say later thats better than now. Sometimes I think I know what your saying but really don't.

Hi, Mom:
The best advice is to ask questions.

This is my advice.
D.

I truly believe this site has helped me give better advice over time as I read other's responses.

There are some truly gifted, smart writers amongst us here, and even if I have more life experience, and could offer a tip or two, I don't necessarily possess the writing skills or wit and humor of some great ladies that come here.

I have days where I am compassionate and some days not so much.