Do You Think Schools Have Their Own Personality?

Updated on August 08, 2013
S.R. asks from Scottsdale, AZ
13 answers

Funny question, but we have the option to attend a couple of different schools. The one we're at has some VERY strong personalities. My dd has a circle of friends, but I feel like there's just quite a few problem kids. This school is located in a higher income area, so it's not a socio-economic thing... I just think many of the kids are disrespectful of others and of authority figures. I don't want to go to a different school, but I wonder if a change of scenery would do us good. Has anyone tried a change and how did it go? DD is going into 5th grade.

A couple of years ago, we switched sports teams and it was the best thing we ever did! The kids on the new team are angels unlke the previous team where there were so many conflicts.

Thoughts?

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I do agree that schools tend to have their own personality.

And..... you mentioned that it wasn't a socio-economic thing...... in a way, it can be... I've often seen more attitude among the kids that have "everything" .....

(btw.. I work in a middle school that has both low socio-economic status and upper middle SES... although of the 3 middle schools in my town, the one I work at is thought to have the higher SES than the others, even thought they try to balance it carefully through boundaries.)

And.. if you have the choice of schools, maybe a change of scenery may be a good thing?

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I think yes... and the principal is largely responsible for the personality of the school. A good involved principal that knows the kids and parents and is active and in and out of the classrooms.. Will set the tone for the entire school. The teachers will respect and perform under such a principal. there will be behavior standards that are expected from students.

Our school is blessed with such a principal it is a well run school. the teachers are held accountable .. and so our the students.

Of course there are kids that have behavior problems but those kids are managed and they do not bring down the entire school.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Interesting question. Yes I do think there are "personalities" to schools, driven largely by the principal. My three sons have all attended the same early elementary school (grades K-2) and have had three different principals. When my oldest son was there, the principal was nice enough but retiring. She was very clearly short-timing her last year or two there. School was fine, but nothing spectacular. The next principal was a nice but rather cold and rigid woman. Her nickname was "Lilith" (as in Kelsey Grammar's character's wife from "Cheers"). She was a good administrator but no fun. The answer to everything was no. Very overly concerned with things like what the insurance policy would frown upon.

The newest principal is starting his 3rd year there and he's simply awesome. Young, energetic, has children the same age as the students, and thinks that kids learn best when school is FUN! The answer to everything is "sure, let's try it!" In the first month of the school year, the kids all create and ratify a constitution that becomes the guiding document for behavior for the year (of course it basically says the same thing each year, but the kids have buy in and own it, and hold themselves and each other accountable to it). He let parents transform an empty side yard into an amazing vegetable and flower garden that is an outdoor classroom. The cafeteria serves food from the garden and partners with local farms for healthy foods and the kids actually eat it. The kids can bring their snow gear in and play in the snow during outdoor recess in the winter. We have a welcome back picnic before the start of the school year and lots of great family activities throughout the year that are really well attended. Every morning, the announcements start off with music, birthdays, and an inspirational quotation read by a student. This school is the most enthusiastic place I've ever been, and it starts at the top. Energetic, passionate principal = energetic, enthusiastic, joyful teachers = kids who come to school ready to learn because they love it there = parents who will do anything we're asked to do to make this work.

I think that in the older grades, the principal and assistant principal have a huge influence on how things run and what is and isn't tolerated in school. When my oldest kids were in middle school, they both were involved in issues that came up with bullying, rumors and other behavioral issues. My kids were either victims or witnesses. The assistant principal took things very seriously and really backed up the talk about what wasn't tolerated with action. One day my step-daughter was having an issue and was looking for the VP, who wasn't available, so the principal invited her to come to his office and talk. She told him what was going on, he gave her some good advice, kept his word that he would keep and eye on the students involved and then the problem went away. So there were issues, but they were addressed.

I think that the observation about grades is true too. The incoming 8th graders ("the millenials" - born in the year 2000) have had a reputation for trouble since they were in Kindergarten. It's a huge class - 30% larger than a typical class in my town - and that class has had issues come up a year or two before they normally do. So rumors of sexual stuff in 5th/6th grade, of drinking in 7th grade, etc. Certainly it's not the majority of kids, but there are quite a few in that grade that have trouble written all over them.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Schools do have their own "culture" and I think that is what you mean by "personality". My son's school has a strong Hispanic culture (it is a dual language Sp/Eng school) and not much else. Currently, we are working towards adding more to the culture. I think that if your child's school's culture does not work for you and you can not help change it then find one that works for you.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Absolutely. For many reasons. The educational skills, expectations and personalities of the leadership, neighborhood and families ad staff are all involved.

Whatever the culture is, there will be advantages and disadvantages. If it's a rule-driven school, with little arts, then families can recognize and fill in that gap with after school artistic activities. Similarly, it it's a cultural haven, but less structured, then families can consider after school activities with definite structure. If it's structured and artsy, perhaps it's light in the STEM areas. If a school is meeting most of your child's needs, I'd suggest you consider staying and supplementing. If you choose to move, that's ok too, just be prepared to supplement in whatever area the next school is missing.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Yes, schools each do have their own personality. Even different grade levels at the same school are not the same. If you work with your child and they keep up with their school work they will thrive in any environment. Choose a school where the parents' values are similar to yours and where you can see yourself as family friends. This way when your child spends time at events or their homes you will have piece of mind. There's really no way of knowing if the change will turn out better until you do it but look at the school as a community, is this a community you want to be part of?

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think they do, and that the personality of a school changes with the people in it. Just like an office or any other gathering of people. The thing to consider, IMO, is that you don't know if this will be a problem for DD. You don't know if all the perceived bad kids will graduate and the school will change. When I was in 8th grade, I had no school choice. I was worried about fighting in my school. All those kids moved on and 9-12 was fine.

You should also teach your DD how to deal with people she might not always get along with. She can't always run from a job environment that isn't perfect. She has to learn to deal with people.

You say she has a circle of friends. Would it be more detrimental to move her and lose them? I know from experience with the sks that it can be hard to maintain friendships if you are not in the same school.

You don't say anything about the academics at this school. I'm assuming they are good and she is doing well. I'd stick with it if she's academically doing well and not being bullied. It just doesn't sound like you have a compelling reason to move her at this time.

My DD's new elementary school has a new principal and I was iffy on the school, but it would take a lot for the district to allow us to move. It's not the same, but it's not "bad". If you follow. Unless I put DD in a private school, we have to make the most of it.

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E.N.

answers from Knoxville on

Absolutely! I teach art at four different schools and they are so different. Not only does it have to do with the students, but the administration, teachers and staff. One of my schools is no nonsense-ever. One is like a family. The big kids watch out for the little ones and they all take care of each other. One is a nice mix of no nonsense, but we care about each and every one of you. The last one is laid back bordering on slack. It is the only one with discipline problems every day. It is also my least favorite to teach at.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Never noticed it in grade school but around here high school, you bet cha! Well not sure if that follows public to private, my older two went to private high schools and because of the selection process each was very unique. My younger son starts high school in a week, public, actually the same high school I went to. I am betting it is still the same, a little bit of something for everyone.

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M.S.

answers from Omaha on

What an interesting question. I have been mulling over that same sort of thing, but didn't quite know what the question was, and now I do. I agree with you. Schools have different vibes and energies. You're an awesome mama to think along those lines. If you feel a change is warranted, then follow your gut. Women have great intuition : )

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L.M.

answers from Sacramento on

We changed schools for my son (1st grade) and it was like a whole new world. Do some thorough investigation before you decide and weigh the facts such as how many years she has until the next school transition and the next school that she will go to ( usually if you go to a elementry, you will be channeed into a linked junior high and possibly a linked HS too)
Good luck!

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, Sally:

Do what you think best.
The problem in our culture today is disrespect in all quarters.
We, the American people, have gotten so materialistic, we have forgotten civility.

We, all of us, need to start holding people accountable for disrespectful behavior at all age groups.

check out the website of www.iirp.edu
and learn some strategies for holding all disrespectful people
accountable for bad behavior.

Good luck
D.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

How much longer will your child be at this particular school? Fifth grade is sometimes the last grade in a school, if kids move to middle school for sixth grade, or it's next to last if middle school begins in seventh grade in your area. If your DD is going to leave this school after fifth grade, I wouldn't move her now, but if she has both fifth and sixth still to go, you might consider moving now (it's getting awfully late in summer to swiwtch schools for this fall, though, isn't it?).

Sixth grade is when a lot of kids become very, very aware of their peers and can form cliques, start to emulate other kids' behaviors and attitudes, or start to get flak (or admiration) for being who they are. If your current school has a lot of kids in her grade and classes with attitude problems, disrespect and an entitled feeling, then consider whether her good friends and she can get past that or whether you think it will be a poor influence on her.

Yes, schools absolutely have their own personalities from many factors. Those personalities can shift over time, but it usually takes quite a while. Before you move her, be sure to try to find out the personalities of the other schools she might attend -- so you don't move from one set of issues to another. I would attend events, talk with as many different parents as possible (take everything with a grain of salt!), look up coverage of the school in the local paper (has it been a topic of disputes in the community, does it get coverage for its charity participation, etc.).

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