Do You Think It' Strange...

it's the same dynamic as talking in the car. it's easier because you're NOT face to face. the same principle that makes real life better, that you can read body language and tone, also makes it uncomfortably intimate at times.
that's one of the things i miss most about homeschooling my boys. we were on the road ALL the time, and we had the best, weirdest, wildest conversations on those endless car rides.
the internet really has changed personal dynamics, hasn't it? and it's rightly trounced for being bad in a lot of ways, but it's also got some upsides. typing instead of talking means an extra few microseconds to gather one's thoughts and present them somewhat coherently. and yeah, we'd never get inside each other's heads to the degree that we do if we all were meeting for coffee somewhere every day.
have you ever met someone in person with whom you had an internet friendship? i did it once. we were SOOOO close, so i saved up and went to stay with her for a week. it was fun and we really liked each other, and are still in touch. but it was weird too. i should have just done it for a couple of days, not a week. but she felt like my bestie in the world and we couldn't imagine we'd be ready for it to be over in a couple of days, but we both were.
i think the intimacy that the internet provides isn't quite real. it feels safer than that face-to-face process, but it has to be recognized for what it is. another way for people to connect, and certainly faster, but not a replacement for real relationships.
khairete
S.

I would say anything, that I've said on mamapedia. I come here, because I have a limited scope of opinions. I pretty much know what my family and friends think. I like to come here, to get a variety of opinions. I can't walk out my door and get dozens of opinions in such a short period of time. I think it's up to us individually, to set our lives up in an honest way. Society can only make something a certain way, if people choose to live in the way suggested. Society can't force people to be like this.

With that said, there are many people who don't feel safe. To be themselves, ask for advice, or even talk about their life. I'm glad for a place like this. Loneliness is one of the worst things for a human, and places like this help so many. Unfortunately, there are people who feel like they HAVE to hide. I do find that quite sad, and I feel fortunate that I have the people I do.

It is strange to think we are all unknown to each other. But the that's what gives us license to be open. Sometimes we take it a bit far!

Society isn't set up, it's made up of humans. We can be surprisingly open for a few mins in line at a grocery store but that's still because we believe we won't see that person again.

When I was a young wife, I would be embarrassed at the thought of someone opening my fridge and seeing milk crumbs and a messy fridge. I learned that most people who are genuine don't care and the ones who do care, I don't care for. Humans are messy.

It's hard enough to get women to be open at church. We get our feelings hurt and clam up.

As you know, rich people have problems like anyone else, they just drive better cars and live in better houses.

There are people with terrible health problems that need someone to recognize that and care. You can do that as a nurse. Look past the defensive stance they put up.

Still, I know we are all judging, all the time. What you might value, I might not. But there is a core of love for children that unites the most diverse group of women on this board. And SJ, we are all children of somebody. When we can unite on that level, we can move mountains, give solutions, heal hearts, and turn broken situations around. And then break apart to face our own problems with a bit more wisdom.

I'm a very private person, my life is so much better when I can just be polite and share the social graces without getting into my personal business with my acquaintances. I have family I share with and a few close friends that I tell private things to, but other than that....I love being anonymous online. You can ask honest questions and get honest answers without fear of embarrassment, gossip, etc. Plus, I've saved myself countless disasters by getting advice here before I open my mouth and say something I regret. It really is nice to hear objective viewpoints on your exact situation,

I love this question. I understand what you mean. I'm a naturally happy person. I speak up if I have to or see something wrong. But in general I'm very shy. With my husbands family and random people I meet in life I have to put that guard up and I don't talk that much. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes if you show people a little bit of weakness or a hint that something is wrong they get some power trip. I'm not saying everybody. But there are those people out there. The people you can be real with, enjoy awkward silences.. The people that you can shed tears in front of. Those are called good friends for life.

A big difference is that on here, I can read your post/question and identify with it or not, answer it or not - that's not really an option in face to face interaction without coming off as extremely rude! LOL!
Think about it, if you were in line at the grocery store and you turn to the person behind you and ask "My husband and I only have sex once per week and he wants it more, is that normal?" That person might be completly thrown off for a number of reasons - they are not expecting that kind of question from a stranger. Versus, on here, we are expecting those kind of questions from each other. I would think that if we were at a family/parenting kind of meeting in real face to face life, most of these questions would seem fine also.
I disagree with the answer you got about us having multiple personas we present - I have one, it's me, and I present it to everyone. Sometimes I am more open in some situations with some people than with others, but I'm not VERY different person - it's always me! :)

First of all, because we don't have the time for it. If everyone in line at the grocery store started telling you their problems, you'd never get out of there. You would also feel burdened.

Here, you have a choice of whether to get involved or not.

huh. I don't have that issue.
The ONLY thing I wouldn't talk to a LOT of my friends about would have been some serious hemorroid issues I was having. But, my best girl and one other woman knew about it.
I talk about just about anything with my friends. I am an open book. That may be why I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are amazing. I can be myself.
L.

Where I live you really do have to be guarded. I've learned that one the hard way-over and over ( I'm a very trusting person).
It is a shame. I have noticed, when traveling, that it seems to be different in other areas. However, perhaps it's just that we can't handle the "tough love" approach when the person is doing it to your face?
I have to admit, some of the responses to my posts made me go into defense mode-then after really considering them they are helpful.

I've learned in life that I scare people away with my honesty and being who I truly am. I'm not too crazy or anything but most people care what others think whereas I don't. I strike up conversations with any and everyone but sadly I only have a few very close friends. I find that more often than not people don't want people to be real in person unless you already know them personally. Perhaps that's just my jaded view because after living in PNW for almost 10 years I've yet to make a long-term friend.

hA, you do not live in Texas.. You can become good friends waiting in line at the grocery store. . You could be handed a diaper and wipes at the park.. Then asked to keep an eye on our stuff.. We will know your family history in 10 minutes.. Just let us ask you a few questions..

I have so many friends from our daughters schools.. all the way back to elementary school, even the teachers and Principals are my good friends.

You just need to learn to initiate the conversations.. It can be hit or miss, but do not take it personally..

Rejection - noone likes it, in any form.

Technology - gives us an out to delete or not reply to anything you don't want to make time for, i.e. party invites, as opposed to being asked to a party face to face, and then you are forced to reply whether you want to go or not.

We all have multiple persona's we present to the world.
Who we are with our family is often different from who we are at work/school or who we are with friends and mostly VERY different from who we are with strangers.
And that applies to how we present ourselves online, too.
We all have things we consider private which we feel strangers have no right to know.
There is a need for privacy.
We protect information like social security numbers, credit cards, bank information, etc because there ARE people who would (and can and do) exploit this information for their own gain - and we often have no idea who the honest vs dishonest people are - and sometimes we DO know - some family members would gladly rob other family members blind but it's still hard to deal with.
Back when the internet started up there were quite a few techies who felt the world would be such a great place with a total free exchange of information.
And then came hackers, and computer viruses, and cyber security, and fire walls, and passwords (which have become increasingly longer, more complex, harder to remember - upper and lower case letters with numbers and certain special characters - and they STILL get cracked sometimes).
Total complete honesty - at all times - with everyone - is a horrible security risk on all sorts of levels.
People can't afford to be that naive.

I'm the kind of person that you shouldn't ask "How are you" to i'll give you the run down on my day..How much time do you have

There are times we are even afraid on this board. I like this board however because usually someone will take up for the underdog and not just go with the flow.