Do You Feel Happy or Sad on Your Kids' Birthdays?

I am happy and excited for my girls birthdays. Since my son passed away it is without a doubt the hardest day of the year for me. The day he died is a very close second though. Kids are suppose to grow up. Try to focus on the positive.

Sometimes I look at my boy and think, "whatever happened to my baby?" Usually when he is off and running and doing something, "by himself." His birthdays though don't bring it on for me.

Rally and give him an excellent 9th birthday party.

Best,
F. B.

Well, this is a timely question. Today is my oldest's 22nd birthday. He's away at school so last week I sent him a card with some money, posted on his FB wall today, sent him a text, etc.

I feel oddly detached from the notion that I have a child who has been an official adult in every possible way for a year now.

Actually, he has signed off on a job offer he has upon graduation in May, he officially doesn't even live here anymore.

I've noticed over the years, that I've felt differently about all three of their birthdays every year.

I know you don't really mean you wish you could hit the slow motion button because you know there's ever more awesome things to come with every year, every kid.

I think you mean you enjoy your kids very much, and do wish for a few more moments to enjoy each individual phase since they fly by with break-neck speed.

I mean, as they grow older, it's not so much melancholy we feel, as it is reverence, you know?

I dunno, I'm still just making it up as I go along.

:)

This really must be a glass half full or half empty kind of thing.
Personally I was never sad on my kids' birthdays, just the opposite in fact! I was also excited when they started preschool, K, then middle then high school. I love, love, love watching them grow, I find it incredibly satisfying and rewarding. Maybe it's because I'm a stay at home mom and I feel like I'm seeing the fruits of my labor pay off.
I DID feel quite sad when I took my son, and then older daughter to college. Of course I was thrilled for them to go but realizing I wouldn't see them for three months at a time was an adjustment. Thank goodness for Skype and Facetime!

My daughter will turn 20 in December... Gee where has the time gone!!!

I do not feel sad on her big day, I do feel happy for her. I feel happy because I see what a great young woman she has become and I feel full of proud for her.

When she was younger, I was as excited as she was in planning a party, her cake and her special day.

Now, we have a traditional cake and family dinner and I just sit in awe because I love her so much and I am so freaking proud of her.

I feel happy for all my babies. It is my birthdays that I feel sad. LOL

I guess I view every birthday as a privilege, especially one where my kids are healthy and relatively happy. I'm so grateful that none of them have ever had any serious or chronic health issues. I have friends who are not so fortunate. I guess it's all about perspective.

With my youngest, I do get little pangs of "I'll never be the mom of a 7 year old again" and such but they're just passing moments. To be sentimental is normal, but if you really do get super-melancholy every time one of them has a birthday, you might want to find a way to get past that so you don't have to torture yourself 3 times a year, every year.

There are lots of good reasons in life to feel down...a child'd birthday shouldn't be one of them :-)

They might only be little for a time but they will always be yours. No matter if they are 8 or 18 or 28, there is no loss. You're still the mom. Always.

Celebrate your children as the people they are at the moment they are in, rather than mourning the ages they are not.

Raising a kid is not so much about the destination as it is about enjoying the journey.
A birthday is merely a milestone along the way.
Sure I wish I could bottle some moments and take them out to enjoy them again.
My easy going 6 month old I would dearly love to rock to sleep again.
But even though our son is turning 16 end of Oct, he's a great kid at any age and I try to enjoy every day of him.
If I'm sad about anything, it's that I'm getting older and I'm missing my own youth.
I can't call it a midlife crisis, because if this is midlife I'm going to have to live to be 104 and I might not enjoy doing that so much toward the end of it.

The last birthday I got moody about was when I turned 25. Then, thankfully, I got over myself. Turning 44 this year and looking forward to it.

Love my family's birthdays. We are all progressing as human beings and frankly, the birth of our son is still the best moment of my life, so that's a great thing to celebrate.Happy we are all still together and loving each other so well.:)

I used to get sad, but now I am happy. As they get older I am reminded every day of how lucky I am to be their mom, what amazing kids I have, and the awesome future I have to look forward to with them.

Sure, I wish I could hit a pause button and keep them where they are now, but then I'd miss the new things coming for them. I love them like crazy and I honestly look forward to each new day. Not a day is boring. Even the tough days, we all learn something and move on.

So no, I don't get sad. Shocked at how fast it is going, sure, but not sad.

Try to enjoy it. Otherwise you'll get so wrapped up in being sad over it that you'll miss all the fun things.

My sweet son turned 11 today. Did I mention he's now taller than me and he BASKS in that. 😉. I am never sad at their birthdays. My lovely daughter turned 15 this year. I get a little crazy when thinking about her driving this coming summer. I celebrate them all the time. I am amazed at who they are becoming. I am grateful every day for the blessing of being their mom. Just remember you're their mom forever. What an incredible gift!

Blessings!
L.

i get the bittersweet, but i just can't go too far down that rabbithole. my boys were always so happy on their birthdays that it was infectious. i DID say to my now-23-year-old when he turned 21 'that's the last of the fun birthdays' and could have bitten my tongue out when i saw the look on his face.
the problem with letting the 'they're growing up so fast' blues run the show is that then you don't fully immerse yourself in the wonder of what you've got now- and the gloom doesn't make the process slow down one little bit.
i know this is visceral and not logical, but for your own sake and that of the kids, do try and shake yourself out of it.
{{{}}}
khairete
S.

When my baby girl turned 21 that was a little rough. But now she is 26 and I'm good.

When the boy turned 21, I cried. Not sure if it was joy or sadness!!!! He's 22 now. So not sad.

I love my kiddo's birthdays. I love celebrating and making a big deal out of them. I am not sad. I'm so proud of the young woman and young man they are becoming. The celebrations aren't as "grand" as they once were.

When the girl turned 21, she wanted to go to San Antonio and celebrate and she wanted me to come too! Yay! =) Girls weekend

When the boy turned 21, he and his dad did the "bourbon walk" up in Kentucky. I was not invited! =) Boys weekend

Happy and sad. Happy that she has seen another year but sad that I don't have a baby any longer and she is just that much closer to teenage years. I am dreading the teen years. Since I cant stop time I am happy to see the sweet young lady she is turning out to be though.

Their birthdays? Happy, because THEY'RE happy. And their joy is infectious.

My own birthdays? A dark, black hole of depression and sadness. I actually send my husband and kids out of town (visiting grandparents or something) so I can wallow in my own self-pity for a day.

So far I am happy on their birthday! My kids are young, so making it through another year with my sanity intact is like a victory! Especially age 1, 2, 3, 4.

I can see how around 8 or 9 you might start wanting to hit the slo-mo button.
My oldest turns 8 next year...
My youngest will be 1 and I might just throw a party for myself!

I am so glad that no one beat you up about your feelings. I understand where you are coming from, but I never got sad at my son's birthdays.

I did cry the day we backed the uhaul out of the driveway to take him and his things to an out-of-state college. He saw me cry and it let him know that I would miss him.

I used to get gloomy around my own birthday. Now, I rejoice that I am getting closer to 62 so that I can retire....

I'm happy if they're happy but yes, my husband and I will also look at each other for a minute with a sad face bc now that our kids aren't demanding toddlers, we wish we could slow things down too. It hits us the number of years left with them home is declining rapidly and that makes us sad. But fortunately we still enjoy their actual birthdays bc they're so excited. I think if it's actually putting you in a funk, you need to kind of examine what's going on. Not sure you should actually get semi depressed and not be able to kind of snap out of it. At least you still have your 5 year old. :)

I never saw anyone's birthday as a reason to be sad.

I feel joy when celebrating their birthdays!

I usually don't have time to stop and think about it. My boys birthdays are a week apart, and right at the end of school, so I am too busy planning, baking, shopping etc. Birthdays are just fun and hectic. I have felt a little sad when we come to the end of an era, such as when both kids went to school full time or when my oldest left elementary school. I don't feel too sad that they are getting older because I enjoy the people they are growing into more than I enjoy little kids.