Do You Drink in Front of Your Kids?

Updated on May 18, 2011
J.M. asks from Melrose, MA
47 answers

I like one glass of wine with dinner. I do look forward to it actually after being home all day; but my kids are actually not too hard! Hubby doesn't drink and doesn't mind. Am I the only one?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Great- thanks mamas!

Featured Answers

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I do drink in front of my kids. I think they need to see that alcohol can and should be used responsibly. Who else is going to teach them? Their friends?

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes I drink in front of my son. This was posted a while ago and I loved one answer - it was something like - I drive in front of my kids and they can't do that until they are 18 (could have been 16)- so why wouldn't I drink in front of them. DS knows alcohol is for grown ups.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I drank in front of my daughter when she was growing up, and now that she's grown, I sometimes have a drink with her.

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Lots of us that didnt drink before we had kids start to drink after we have them, lol.

15 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Boston on

I don't go out enough to drink anyplace else! : )

10 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Yes.
Why not?
You just teach them, it is for adults etc.

In some cultures, it is a part of one's daily dinner and tradition.

6 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Detroit on

i do. and they know what it is!

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Boston on

Yeah...of course...Hubby and I do have our occassional glass of wine in front of our child...how else is he going to learn to drink responsibly?

6 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

No ma'am! Love my glass of arbor mist and I don't care who's sitting beside me!

5 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

yes we do, responsibly. Im drinking a beer right now actually.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Norfolk on

Yes, we drink in front of the kids. It's not a big deal in our house.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.S.

answers from Houston on

I do but not all the time in front of our son. I want him to see drinking is for the mature and sophisticated, where you can enjoy drinking and one another's company w/intelligent and fun conversation, not the immature and stupid he might see in the media.

He sees us drinking at restaurants and then hears us talk to one another about who is going to drive, who is okay to drive, if we have to wait, etc.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Have a drink on occasion (usually a beer or margarita) - yes.
Get drunk - no.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Houston on

Why wouldn't I? It's not illegal. Both my husband and I will drink in front of them. I am not a big drinker at all but still I like a glass of wine or sangria. Yum! I think kids need to understand what responsible drinking is. We do not drink and drive. If hubby has a couple of glasses of wine I will drive home. Is he okay to drive, maybe, but I want the kids to understand responsibility. My kids are 22 and 18. No DUI's in our household!!!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

someone asked this recently... you are not alone... i am having wine on my back porch tonight :)

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

I think moderate drinking, is fine in front of kids. I had a friend whose parents had parties where many of the people would get wasted. That, I think is wrong. My husband and I don't drink, but if we wanted a glass of wine we'd drink it in front of our son.

3 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

No, you're not the only one. :)
I like to have a glass of wine when preparing a meal for guests (usually they are having a glass while keeping me company in the kitchen, too!). Or at dinner sometimes. It is not an every day thing. But there isn't anything wrong with it either. Unless you are an alcoholic. And I'm not.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Nope!!! I have wine as well. I enjoy whether they see it or not. However, I do set a good example and don't drink too much. A glass or two is satisfying with my meal.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Boston on

No you're not the only one. I don't drink often, and never to excess, but I have no problem with having some wine or a margarita or something in front of the kids. Nothing wrong with modeling moderation!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.F.

answers from Dallas on

Occasionally, I will have a glass of wine around my kids while at home. They understand what it is and know that I will NEVER drink and drive. If we go out, either my husband or I might have a glass of wine, but the other will not have any alcohol. That's just us and our understanding.

3 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I drink in front of my son. I am very honest about what I drink as well when drinking it. If he asks for a sip of my drink I tell him that mommy is drinking Rum and Coke and that is for adults but you can have xyz (does not like soda :)) ... or Memosa I tell him you can have your own orange juice with sparkleing cider but mommy's has champegne (sp) ... I also talk to him about how mommy is not driving so for brunch mommy can have a drink or two and next time mommy will drive and daddy can have a beer or two but you do not drink and drive. My mom was VERY open with alcohol discussions, in fact everytime she drank something (not often) she talked about it, explained what it does and how to be responsible. My mom was not opposed to the occasional sip of wine or small rum and coke with my Pop when I was a teen. I think with the way she treated alcohol with me is what made me a responsible drinker. We had rules, I knew what the rules were and we both played by them. Heck when I was 21 and my friends and I celebrated a major job promotion for me I got way too drunk and the bar tender called my mom (smaller town) and she just laughed at me and took me home, even at 21 talked about it the next day. I want my son to be that open with me and it started with my mom drinking in front of me and talking about it. Hiding it makes it taboo.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Dallas on

Yes. Kids ARE going to know about alcohol, like it or not. We drink responsibly, and aren't going to stop just because we have kids. Mine aren't yet, but if they are old enough to ask, then it's a good opportunity to explain to them why you have to be 21, what can happen when people don't drink responsibly and be a good example of what it looks like to drink and be a responsible adult.

2 moms found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Dover on

No, you're not the only one. There was actually a question very similar to this just a couple of weeks ago & she got a ton of responses overwhelmingly saying that yes, a vast majority of us drink ocassionally in front of our kids. I do not under any circumstances get falling-down-drunk in front of my kids, I am a responsible parent.

2 moms found this helpful

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

No, you're not the only one. I occasionally have a drink in front of my children and so does my hubby. We model "everything in moderation" and are open about it.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I drink in front of my children the few times I drink. I don't get drunk in front of them, ever.

2 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I have no problem having a glass a wine or a beer in front of my son (14 year old, never had.

In fact, when we finally went to eat on Mother's Day, he asked me if I was having a drink - since it was a special occasion, I sometimes do during those.

All in moderation.
All a teaching moment.

God Bless

2 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

I drink in front of my kids - I do not get smashed in front of my kids - if we are going to have a rip roaring party - I have someone else watch the kids because frankly, I will be in no state to take care of them either that night NOR the morning after ~ LOL I think everything in moderation, if our kids see us drinking in moderation, I think that they are less likely to go crazy with it when they get the chance.....just my opinion.....

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I occasionally have wine with dinner (at home or out) and my husband might have a beer at home (after mowing the lawn & such) and he sometimes orders alcohol when we are out to dinner. Our son is 8.

2 moms found this helpful

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

I don't drink, so no. If I drank (and did so responsibly/in moderation), I would.

My husband will have a beer or two sometimes in front of our bubs. It's not a big deal, because he's not setting a bad example.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.M.

answers from Boston on

I really don't think one glass of wine with food is a problem. I don't allow my daughter cola, but I drink that in front of her as well. She's 2 1/2 and when she asks I tell her what it is (she's mainly interested because it's in a "funny" glass!) and that it's not for kids. Again, just like I would tell her if it was a can of coke.

I understand your reasoning, but at some point all kids have to learn about what's good for them and not, and how to deal with stuff that isn't great for them responsibly (be it junk food, staying up late or whatever). My dad used to offer me a sip of wine if he was having it with dinner by the time I was probably 6 or 7. I hated it - and in fact never drank until I was about 22! He had demystified it completely by offering it and explaining it (and he only ever drank with a meal or very responsibly) so I never was overly interested in it. I don't know if I'll be that liberal with my own daughter, but there's something to be said about not making a big issue out of it at a young age. It'll be difficult enough when they get into their teens!

Don't stress - you're obviously a responsible mom - you deserve a glass of wine with dinner without feeling you need to hide it! ;-)

1 mom found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kid is only 2 and I have had drinks in front of her. I just make sure I don't leave them where she can get them.
You're not alone. =)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.W.

answers from Lewiston on

I see no reason not to model responsible drinking. My kids are younger, so to them wine is for adults, just like soda, coffee, etc. They don't question it or know all the background about alcohol that adults know.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.O.

answers from Sherman on

Yes, 1-2 drinks at dinner/evening

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think that having a glass of wine with dinner is a bad thing. It's unfortunate that so many responders have deemed this an unhealthy, "wrong" habit. I couldn't disagree more. You model appropriate behavior with eating habits, manners, dealing with disagreements, etc.. This is just another avenue to teach your children. No one is suggesting to get obliterated at the dinner table then give the kids a bath and send them off to bed! Be realistic! The child who sees appropriate drinking behavior modeled ( and not just at dinner, but at a backyard bar-b-que, hockey game, dinner party) is more likely to appreciate that appropriate behavior and abide by it as a teenager and adult.

Enjoy the wine! You deserve it! And your kids will learn right from wrong by your modeled behavior.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.W.

answers from Portland on

I often have a glass of wine or beer to sip while I'm making the meal. My son knows that some things are "grown up drinks", and sees us being responsible with them, so it's not a big deal.

The way I see it, there are plenty of "grown up" things in the world that can either be used responsibly or dangerously. Being a good model for alcohol consumption is the same as being a good driver and pulling over to use the cell phone.(Which an outstanding amount of research shows is JUST as dangerous as driving while under the influence.) I think there are plenty of opportunities for us to show our children how to be safe and considerate citizens.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.H.

answers from Boston on

Just tonight my 3 yr old and I were eating dinner together while waiting for my husband to come home from work (he had to stay late). She had water with her lasagna, I had a small glass of red wine, :) so yes, yes I do. When we go to family outings usually one of us will have a couple beers while the other refrains from drinking. We never ever get drunk in front of her but we do occasionally drink.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.L.

answers from Orlando on

I drink in front of my daughter. No biggie. I'll have a couple glasses of wine or a beer if we're at a bbq or something. At least a few times a week I'll have a glass of wine when I get home from work. I've never been DRUNK in front of her.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Although I drink rarely, I have no problem doing it in front of the kids. I would rather demonstrate responsible social drinking as an adult instead of it being this' taboo' thing that they want to experiment with.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.K.

answers from San Antonio on

I did not drink in front of my son when he was younger. I did not want to have issues with the "do as I say, not as I do" scenario. I started drinking in front of him a few years ago when he started high school. He was old enough to understand that he must be 21 years old to drink and that drinking is fine, but getting drunk is completely different.

Another reason I didn't drink in front of my son when he was younger was because I didn't want him to drink from my glass of alcohol since he did occasionally share a cup with me. I would just rather eliminate the possibility altogether.

P.S. Wow, I just read the other replies and I am the odd one out. :-)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.U.

answers from Detroit on

I see nothing wrong with it, so long as you are modeling responsible drinking, and showing that you can enjoy 1 or 2 drinks with dinner, rather than getting hammered all the time. We do this all the time in front of our daughter - she's only 3, but we tell her it's "just for grown-ups", which the same goes for coffee and sushi, and she will need to wait until she's a grown up to try it. I think if you don't allow alcohol in your home and never drink in front of the kids, they might be more likely to be more fascinated by it and as teens more apt to experiment with it but not know their limits - the more forbidden something is, the more alluring it becomes. When my stepsons were much younger, we were all at a 4th of July BBQ that a friend was hosting, and the beer was flowing freely (most of the people there had their kids there too). My husband felt that he might have had a little too much so he had me drive home (I had not had anything) - normally he does all the driving so really, we were modeling responsible behavior to his kids by having me drive instead of him. I can understand it being an issue for some families if alcoholism has been a problem but otherwise I fail to see how it is somehow "wrong" or immoral to drink in front of kids as long as everyone and everything is in control - it's not illegal! (as long as you are 21 and up!).

1 mom found this helpful

B.B.

answers from Evansville on

I don't drink, but if I did I wouldn't do so in front of my children or at the least i wouldn't let them know I had alcohol. They are very young and impressionable. :)

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My husband and I are social drinkers, him more than me. We don't have alcohol at all in the house. I don't want my kids to be drinkers so we don't drink in front of them. I guess its how you view the "big picture". But I'm also a big believer in "everything in moderation".

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I drink wine in front of my children, and my husband is a beer drinker. I don't do it everyday, and only ever a small amount. I worry however about my husband's beer drinking in front of them. He never gets drunk, but he can sure drink steadily. We have spoken about the affect it will have on our three boys and he acknowledges this, but can get touchy when I keep bringing it up.

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

You are SOOO not the only one!!

I don't drink in front of my kids - but that's because I don't drink. My husband drinks and does it in front of our kids.

Your children learn from you - you are setting the example - you are teaching them responsible alcohol consumption.

YOU GO!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Boston on

I drink one to two glasses of red wine at night with dinner. My husband also drinks beer a few times weekly. I don't think it is inappropriate in front of the kids. It teaches them that they can drink in moderation harmlessly. The forbidden fruit is the one most desired, so I think this creates a healthier opinion about alchohol.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I guess I don't see why it would be "bad" for children to see their parents having a glass of wine or a beer, or whatever. Alcohol is not bad. Drunkenness and abusing alcohol are wrong. Parents should not model that behavior for their kids. A glass of wine with dinner is not an issue for us. We also drink wine in communion at church. I think that because so many have distorted the use of alcohol, we tend to think only of it in that context. But, it isn't necessary to do so.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions