Do You Come from a "Good" Family?

How about "I came from a great family. Though my parents divorced they taught me wonderful lessons including how not to be offended by rude comments" ?

If you just want to say something and maybe not put them in their place you could say "Oh but I did come from a great family even if it wasn't ideal".

Lol @ Aileene!

My response can't beat hers, but I'd just smile sweetly and say, "Oh, I came from a wonderful family. They taught me manners -- like how to speak of everyone's family with respect. Can you *believe* there are people who don't know that?"

And then walk away with a sticky-sweet, "Anyway, great talking to you."

A "good family" is not the same thing as it having money or it being a non-divorced family.

I find it appalling that people make comments like that to you.
Being a good person and/or being from a good family, has nothing to do with how much money a family has, nor if their family is divorced or not.

Another name for people who go around saying that to other people is:
Stuck Up Snotty Jerks
(and that is putting it politely).

Our family beat up the good family.

I would say "how do you mean?"

Ask questions and watch them stumble.

Who the heck says stuff like that? Seriously. The simple, quizzical, deadpan "what do you mean by that?" should suffice

I come from a divorced family and so does my husband, so does that make us a double "bad" family or does it make us a "good" family since two negatives make a positive :P

I've never heard anyone say that! That's crazy! I don't think having divorced parents means you didn't come from a good family. If you come from a good family, you are happy, loved, well-adjusted, able to function in various social situations, generally try to help others or treat them well, etc. If you grew up clothed and fed, without ever having to struggle and wonder where the clothes or food would come from, that's another sign. It means you were well provided for, or at least your parents were able to hide their struggles enough to keep you from worrying too.

I think what you said in your post is actually really good. You can say "Actually, I was raised by a very strong woman and I'm proud of where I came from."

If you want to be a bit snarky, you could say "Actually, I did. I was taught not to insult others and to treat people with respect."

i'm sorry, I almost didn't respond because I think you are looking for a cute retort and i'm still trying to understand the situation.

I've heard some people say some stupid things,
but really truly, are these the words that came out of their mouths??????,
because, what I hear is "oh it must have been hard for you but look how great you have done for yourself" much more of a compliment.

so i'm really questioning if what you are hearing is what they are saying and meaning.

To answer your question, I always thought I came from a good family because my father was a hard worker with steadily employed, and my mom was sweet and read us bedtime stories. there wasn't any smoking or drinking or black eyes. even when they divorced, I still saw it that way, I'm assuming there are lots of people that don't think it was a good family because dad wasn't a dr and mom wasn't employed, and divorce really is terrible, and we didn't take lavish vacations or have summer homes, so it's all perspective. if you are happy be happy and don't hang around with people that would talk that way to you.

I'm a divorced kid as well and I have never had anyone say that to me. I think I would have a few choice words if I ever received a smart a$$ remark like that!

Your response could be something like: "Apparently you didn't come from one b/c a person making a remark like that does not come from a 'good family'!"

Nope, I was raised by wolves.

I would have said, nah we sucked! Then laughed. What a stupid comment. I always respond to idiocy with sarcasm. Sad that stupid people don't get it but not my problem. :)

I can't say for sure I came from a good family but I know I turned out okay and that was them.....

According to my mom my ex's family is a good family. If that is the case, be proud you did not come from a good family! They are nuts!

I can't fathom having anyone actually say something like that to anyone. Are these your friends? If they are, they aren't the kind of friends you should have. Your short response should be along the lines of "What you just said is SO inappropriate. My mother was a wonderful woman. Having divorced parents or not being rich doesn't equate to not coming from a "good" family. There are families out there with parents who just give their kids anything they want and the kids end up rotten and awful people. You should THINK before you open your mouth next time you judge what a good family is." And then stalk off.

The gaul of these people talking to you, honestly...

Say, 'Oh f#€k off.'

That's sure what I'd be thinking.

"Just because my parent's divorced when I was young and we struggled financially doesn't mean that I wasn't loved. And THAT is what makes a good family. Dumbass"

I know, right?! I'm sooo glad you see that I come from a GREAT family!!! It's great when other people recognize that!! Thank you sooo much!!!

That's kind of weird, why are they saying it? That seems more like something people say behind someone's back if that person acts badly or has terrible grammar.... or in response to some sort of comment where they feel the need to respond with "sympathy"? Like you say, "my parents divorced and life was really hard for me in school because I had no help with homework and no nice clothes...." so they say, "too bad you didn't come from a good family...." ? What's the context? Do they just say it out of the blue?

If you're just a nice normal lady going about your happy business and out of the blue people have repeatedly said to you, "To bad you didn't come from a good family" I would ignore them completely since they're insane. Half the people out there come from divorced families (myself included) and way more than half the nation is poor and that comment is too weird. Either they think you're after "understanding or sympathy" or they're mean wackos. If it's totally unprovoked, a good response would be, "That's a really rude and bizarre thing to say, what's your freaking problem?" And then just look at them calmly.

Seriously? People are just nuts sometimes. I was once told by and older woman in a volunteer organization that we both volunteered at that she would never approve of her son marrying a girl from a divorced family. Well, yep, my parents are divorced, so I said, 'so your son couldn't marry me then' she said it was nothing personal he just didn't have that baggage and didn't think it fair that he should marry into it. What do you bet her kid might of had some baggage from being raised by such an overbearing mother!? So yeah, people can be idiots. I don't have a zippy response either, but so far Aileen's has my vote!

Dolts.
"Bless your heart!"

(Even Northerners know what that really means!)

"I did as a matter of fact, too bad you didn't"

"Too bad you aren't creating one"

"Too bad you didn't either"

Who says stuff like this? People never cease to amaze me. The only time I can see a statement like this being appropriate is if you first said "yeah, my childhood sucked, my parents were divorced and we were poor". But it doesn't sound to me as if you're saying that!

I came from a divorced, non-church-going family and had gotten similar comments. While things were tough and the divorce and dysfunction did contribute to difficulty in relationships in my young adulthood, I found that I resent the stereotypes as well.

But we also must remember that stereotypes exist because there is some measure of truth to them. Divorces usually happen due to some kind of dysfunction, but dysfunction can also exist in non-divorced families. Dysfunction negatively affects familes, regardless.

I would say this: "Longevity in a relationship is not an indicator of health or happiness. My parents chose what was best for them at the time and I have never doubted their love or devotion to me and my siblings."

Well, those people are idiots. No point in getting annoyed at idiots. They can't help themselves.

My first thought to that statement would be "apparently you didn't come from a "good" family, or you wouldn't be making such crass comments." I'm too nice to say it, but I'd be thinking it! :)

Good families come in all shapes and sizes. Some just don't fit the mold of others' definition.

Don't worry about what they think. You sound like you are proud of who you are and where you came from. Sometimes the challenges put on us by our parents' poor choices make us(the kids) stronger and more empowered to become better than what they were. Tell people that your family was a good family...your mom did the best she could.

Instead of being annoyed...call your mom and tell her what an amazing and strong woman she was.

I too came from divorced parents. It is not the best situation by any means for children. It was very,very hard. My mother was not strong but instead withered under the pressure...and was quite distant emotionally. I think I understand why people make assumptions about divorced families. Too many times the stereotypes fit...it did in my family.

I don't think people are being mean with these comments to you..but simply stating they know divorced families have it hard sometimes and they have compassion for you.

This is appaluing to me.. of course everyone is different.. Good family means loving, nice people doing the best that they can. It has no bearing on married, divorced, money or poor. A good family can come any one of those 4 categorys.,. because good is not dependent on anything else.. it is stand alone.

So.. My reply would be .. "No, I come from a great family! and sorry you come from a good one.. " or something along those lines.

I grew up in a "blended" family and spent 4 years having to live most of the time in another country without my family. I learned very quickly that sometimes the truest "family" aren't blood related.

I suppose according to those,I came from a "good" family, but I think I did because my family loved me and each other. One parents or two, doesn't matter, it's the love and respect that matters.

I'd just end the conversation right then and there..."Hmm, well, good day to you." Someone who has such a sudden and negative opinion of you and your loved ones is not worth your time.

I would just say, what do you mean by "good?" And give them a nasty look.
What a rude and inappropriate thing for someone to say. Put it back on them. You shouldn't have to explain yourself.

NO, to answer your question... However, I am a good person , this despite having a very dysfunctional family. I think it's fair to say that even "good" families have their problems... I have come to discover that although my childhood/family was very erratic, as an adult I tend to be more together than most of the people I know who come from so called "good families"

your response should simply be... every family, good or bad has its problems.... or you could say what you just said above... " What do you mean, I am proud of where I came from... "

I supposedly came from a "Good" family and although I was fortunate in many ways, I was also miserable much of the time. I am trying so hard to come up with a comment to those types of responses you get. How rude and incredibly inaccurate as to what a good family is. My parents are not divorced and we had some money (although, we really couldn't use it - had to be saved to the extreme sometimes). Although I appreciate what I had, I often thought our family would have been better if my parents divorced. Money and marriage DO NOT merit a good family...Love, respect and trust do. And, all that matters is that YOU think you came from a good family no matter what that consisted of. I also believe that if you looked deep into the lives of the people that supposedly came from a good family, you would find some problems that aren't visible on the surface. Maybe respond..."you're right, I didn't come from a good family, I came from a great family!" Good Luck!

How about "oh - are you're saying my family was actually bad??..." with a quizzical look. Make them elaborate. Then I find it's easier to have a long retort. I get flustered otherwise.

I come from an awesome family...today. Let one of them drive me up a wall tonight and I'd answer differently :). My husband also says my family is kind of crazy...but he picked me, so yea.

I'd look at people stupid if they said something like that. I've never made a comment to anyone like that, and I honestly can't imagine hearing someone else say it...weird.

Man, this post really stuck with me. I read it when you first posted and I just have to respond. If your mom was a strong woman who held your respect through those difficult times, they're right. You didn't come from a "good" family. You came from a GREAT family.

My parents stayed together and IMO, they shouldn't have. I spent a lot of childhood wishing they would divorce. Things would've been hard, but they would've been better. Instead, they stayed together and my mother was the perpetual doormat who had to suck up all the negativity. My father only conversed through yelling. In no way was this a "good" family. Money or a marriage certificate in no way determines what type of family you came from and that notion is ridiculous.

At the very best, when people make these comments to you, it can immediately show you what type of people they are and to head in the opposite direction. Stay proud of your mom and your upbringing. It's one of the best assets you can have.

I know what you mean. My family is so incredibly dysfunctional... We went through a few divorces, lived with grandparents, my mother did all sorts of drugs (my dad had custody of us), and we lived well below the poverty line.

Honestly, I think my rough childhood made me into the person I am today. I can't control where I come from, but I can damn sure control where I will go... And that's what's important.

I came from a "good family" that was divorced like yours was. Yes, I have had some comments like this before. They are annoying. It just shows that some people are ignorant and judgmental. My sweet MIL once made a comment about how, oh, now I see where you got some good "family stability" when she heard how we visited our aunt and uncle for almost a month many summers. I just pleasantly agreed with her at the time, but if I could go back in time I would try to educate her on how living with my single mom WAS living with a good, stable family. Look at my MIL's husband (my hubby's dad) and how he was a workaholic and never ever helped with the kids or house. She had to do everything. It was really not so different. My mom wasn't out partying. She worked, came home, made dinner, took us to our activities, helped us with homework, watched movies with us on TV, cooked with us, took us to the beach or lake on weekends for fun, took us to visit our relatives, etc. It's not just my MIL who has made these kinds of comments. Anyway, I just wanted to say, I'm with you here...so annoying.

Growing up I thought I came from a "good" family - my parents were still married, for the most part, things went pretty smooth. However, as an adult and going through therapy for my own issues, I have learned that things were more dysfunctional than I was aware of while I was growing up.

When people say that, ask them what their definition of a "good" family is. Is a good family one with parents that are still together but argue and have lack of communication? Or parents who are separated, admit their differences but realize they are better off apart than together and are able to provide a more stable environment than if they were to be together?

I feel I do come from a strong and close family. My father was always around, but it's not anyone's fault that my parents grew apart.

Dang, where do people do that? I might be inclined to tell them to go to hell. I don't think that you should focus on how to deliver a snappy comeback. That will only perpetuate negativity within you. Unless the situation really calls for actual words to be used, I think that you should just look at them like they are idiots (they are) and walk away (not in a huff, but calmly, like you're done and are moving on to the next thing). If the relationship is one that you value, then ask them if they thought that through before saying it aloud. "Did you consider how hurtful that might sound to me?" People are really such idiots, thinking that they have a right to say just whatever the hell they want to say to people.

You don't need me to tell you that you are just fine. If you have wonderful memories to look back on and you see your mother as strong and good and kind and you learned how to apply lessons and adapt and feel pretty healthy, then you DID come from a "good" family. These people don't get to decide what's good and bad for you and how your life should have gone. They're likely trying to build up their own lives, or they're very small-minded and don't know how to relate to people who don't look exactly like they do. Either way, don't give your energy away to them.

In my opinion you didn't come from a 'good' family. YOU CAME FROM A GREAT FAMILY. I know who these people are and it disgusts me.They have made comments like that to me. Your mother was strongm my mother raised six kids by herself and you are right to be proud.Albeit that my mother may have not had the time to be deeply involved while she worked or bake as many cookies as I would have liked, but she taught me independence and fierceness to take care of my own little bears. May these people be ashamed of themselves.Never let yourself go down under after hearing something like that. You come from a family of brave warriors!

Married and/or rich parents don't make a good family! That would be my response!
I came from a family where my moms second of three husbands was an alcoholic and abusive. My mom treated me like the enemy for years because I finally turned the A-whole in to the police and "ruined her life" meaning she'd have to get a job and support her kids for the 1st time ever.
Unfortunately my siblings turned out to be somewhat of a mess. I had a rough time for years too. But through it all I am good, honest, moral person. Have a great marriage, 3 wonderful kids and am happy.

I would answer "I am very proud of how I was raised and it made me the person I am today. My experiences and the love of my family are a part of me and I would have traded my place with anyone else."