Do We Really Know What We Want?

Since I do not know other peoples lives, I can only speak for myself.

I know what I do not want.
I do not want my best friend to die of Cancer.
I do not want my daughter to get pregnant unless she wants to be pregnant. I do not want my husband to fall in love with someone else and leave me.

If these things were to happen, would I be devastated, mad, sad? Hell Yes. But I cannot control them..

I will go on living, but I will not be happy my friend died. I will not be happy my husband left me and I will only be happy with my child giving birth if she is happy about it.

Yes. Changing your mind, because of unforeseen circumstances, does NOT mean they didn't know what they wanted at that time. It means, they were willing to adapt, learn, and welcome a NEW situation.

I DON'T want another child. I know that 100%. If we had an oops, even after my husband was fixed...it does not mean I didn't KNOW I didn't want more children. It means, I decided to change my view, to adapt to this new circumstance.

You are looking at it wrong. Changing your life and mind around to adapt to something happening, has nothing to do with not knowing what you want. All of the people you mentioned knew what they did and did not want (except for your husband, it sounds like), when the opposite happened, they simply worked with the situation and decided to change their ideas and life around.

Life has a funny way of provoking maturity in us if we are open to it. Sometimes even when we're not. I've had 64 years of change, much of it against my will. But, when I see how much of the change has been good, I'm pretty much grateful for it all.

I love John Lennon's line: "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."

i think that "having a baby changes everything" really does mean JUST that. i think of that saying constantly. i have a cousin that never wanted kids either...same situation as you spoke of, only she waited until she was 32 years old, and she is over the moon happy. babies, literally, change EVERYthing. it is a reality check, it is harder work than you can ever imagine, and it can fill your heart 100x fuller than you ever thought possible. everyone reacts differently to such earth-shattering things. having a baby, as i said...changes...EVERYTHING. you don't have a clue till you go through it.

I think many people know what they want until life turns out to be completely the opposite, or at least so far from their original plans that they are forced to change their way of looking at things. As Laurie said, we can't control what other people do, and we also can't avoid some of the circumstances of life: illness, accidents, death, etc.. But I think it's a sign of real maturity when in spite of the often course-changing obstacles people face, they are able to keep an eye on what's the most important: love and compassion for others and the determination not to give up or become bitter.

Sometimes what's right for O. person is not what's right for another. Everyone can spew all of the opinions they want, BEFORE they are in a certain situation. Then they very well may feel differently once it happens to them. And that is called eating humble pie.

I know I WANT what's best for my children. I know that. I know that when I have Grandchildren I want them to have a mommy and a Daddy. I KNOW I will Love being a Grandmom. I know my daughter is SO NOT ready to be a mom despite physically being ready. If your child has a child you deal with it but it is never something you WANT before they're ready.

We have ideas of what we THINK we want, or will want in the future. However, there's now way to know what you will want once you throw in those pesky little in the moment emotions. Emotions you don't have until you are actually going through that particular situation.

We know what we want at the time, but what we want changes. However, there are sometimes absolutes.

As a kid, I didn't want to have children. At thirteen, I decided I wanted just one. A few years later, I decided two or maybe even three children would be good. No matter what, I would have my four absolutes: college education, decent job, good husband, and to lose my virginity on my wedding night. I've done an excellent job on keeping the four absolutes.

Nope we don't. We say one thing and turn around and do it.

Haha. Kinda like my sister. She had sex for the first time at 17. She wanted to get out of highschool,go to college,then get married around 30 and then have kids. She pop up pregnant(at 17),then she told my mom she wanted the sex and not a baby.(Ummm,hello,you know when you have sex there's always a risk of getting a STD,or pregnacy.) Needless to say she married before the baby came(at 17,also) then 3 years later had another child. She planning on going to college soon.

Nobody really knows what we want..Things can change unexpected before we knew it. Good and Bad!! I think it helps us in good ways also. Like a baby.

My mom was 40,when she had my half brother. I think part of her didn't want to start all over again,but as soon as he was born that all change. I think it made her SLOW down more and appreciate the things she had. He was very healthy and had no health problems. She was told by her dr. not to get pregnant b/c she was on a certain medcine that could cause health problems or birth defects.

I think God has more in control of things. He knows what is in store for us!!

We THINK we do - at that moment :)
We live- we learn. Do the time test, so to speak.

People THINK they know what they want. But no person is capable of predicting how a future event will make them feel.