And please, before you respond, take a deep breath and carefully read what I wrote before you answer. Most of the responses that I have received have been very reactionary and very insulting.
About a month ago, my daughter's teacher all of sudden didn't come to school. The first day, we thought she was sick. The second day, we thought she was sick again. The third day, we wondered if everything was all right. A week later, some parents including myself started asking the principal questions. He was very vague about it, even though he said to come to him with any questions or concerns. He said it was hoped that she'll come back but he didn't know when. Well, rumors started flying around. One kid said she was out because she had slapped a kid! Then another mother who is not a gossip-y type at all said she heard something to the same effect, that she had grabbed a kid by the arm and left bruises. Here it is a MONTH LATER. We received a note yesterday saying that she was coming back. The explanation regarding her absence was that she was "working" the whole time.
While I personally don't care what a teacher does in his/her free time, I am nevertheless concerned that these types of rumors are being associated with my child's teacher. When she was out on medical leave earlier this year, we were told. When her father died, we were told. So this lack of communication seems very strange.
I also have NOTHING to do with the gossip mill. So let's stop with the bored housewives insults. But wouldn't you be just a bit curious or concerned when rumors like these go around about your child's teacher?
I would never dream to ask or even feel I had a right to know why a teacher was absent. How a teacher (or any employee) spends their time outside of the job is their personal business.
Was this questioned changed from the original post. Didn't it mention loss of sleep and homeschooling and changing schools? This sounds so different from what I originally read.
Stop getting into this. Let this go. If you need to know.. the School will let you know.
We had a teacher who this exact thing happened and ta group of parents went wild with all sorts of guessing.. Poor thing had suffered a miscarriage! She was in her 4th month.. She was devastated.. Even though this was not her first miscarriage, it was far enough along that she had really thought things were going to be fine..
The parents that needled and needled.. never apologized for all of the chaos they caused..
It was no ones business!
Even teachers are allowed a private life.
No, you do not have a "right" to know. However, it is very odd that no one has explained to the parents why the teacher was out in general terms such as "family illness", "training opportunity", esp. in light of all the rumors.
I get what you are saying. My daughter's teacher just had a baby and will be out the rest of the year. I KNOW why she is gone and I am still concerned about my daughter's education. I don't really know the sub even though I have spoken with her several times. If my child's teacher just disappeared I would be upset and concerned about the impact it would have on my child's education but I would ignore rumors and believe that there must be a good explanation.
FWIW, I'm a teacher.
No, it isn't any of your business. And rumors are just rumors.
She could have been having medical issues. Of have had a death in the family. Or have jury duty on a case that she couldn't talk about. Whatever it is, it isn't okay for the parents to demand accountability of her whereabouts.
Sounds like those busybody parents need a hobby.
ETA from your edit: "I also have NOTHING to do with the gossip mill. So let's stop with the bored housewives insults."
Uhm, hello Pot, I'd like you to meet Kettle. "Housewives' insults" is an insult to housewives. I guess you're SOOOOO much better than they.
You're the one with the reactionary response. You don't even know what's GOING ON with her and you're too passive aggressive to just bring the rumor to the school and say "Hey, I don't know what's going on...but you should know what's going around because it makes this teacher look very bad." That RUMOR (which you gave SOME validity by putting an exclamation point on it) is still a RUMOR!
To add a caveat to my previous response: It sounds like the busybody is YOU. And hey, I'm not even a housewife, so blame my opinion on my REASONING ABILITY, not my employment status.
How would you feel if you were out of work for a month and people demanded to know your private life.
No you do not have the right. If you want to believe rumors go right ahead but that school owes you nothing.
She may have just had some crisis in her family but regardless of what it is they owe you nothing. If the rumors were true they would have been able to tell you an exact date since a suspension is under the control of the school, so clearly it was a bunch of hens with too much time on their hands.
My son had a teacher last year that missed a lot of days. Turns out her mother was dying. Guess what, no explanation was given because they respected her privacy. It's an employer-employee issue--they don't need to be "accountable" to the parents in a situation of family issues, grief, etc.
Really, as long as they are providing an acceptable sub, I think it falls into the MYOB category.
IF she slapped a student, rest assured that it is being dealt with and I highly doubt she would be back teaching.
She could have been off for a funeral, then a conference...who knows?
The Rumor Mill is always best avoided. Technically, you know NOTHING except that she was out school for....well...again....no facts provided...VAGUELY a month, I guess.
It sounds like you got caught up in the rumor mill. A teacher has every right to a personal life and privacy as anyone else.
I'll share a recent example... I substitute a LOT and am in the same school, very tight with the teachers and staff. We have a teacher who is one of the most loving, giving teachers I've ever known. Because of mt closeness with this group, I know she has tried for years to get pregnant.
About 4 weeks ago, she announced her pregnancy to staff because for the first time, she made it through a critical period. Everyone was elated. About a week later, I was asked to take her class. Since I run our company from home, I could not take a class for 2+ weeks.
Yes, everyone was asking questions and there was a rumor mill but we kept a smile on our face because she lost her baby and she was going through a terribly painful and emotional time. It was NOT every parent's right to know this. She did NOT want people coming to her with the I'm sorry's, etc because she was struggling. So we all kept it quiet and she only told those she had to in her own time.
We didn't go around blabbing when another teacher went through breast cancer. We were very supportive of her but it was no one's business what she was going through in her personal life.
So to answer your question, no I do not think parents should be given special notices regarding why a teacher is out. Teachers have a right to a personal life just as you do.
Keep out of the rumor mill and trust that the staff ot your school knows what they are doing.
Get some sleep! Get ahold of yourself! This woman has a right to her privacy, just as you do...becoming a teacher doesn't mean you give that up, it simply means that you are held to a higher standard of behavior that could be construed as bad for children to be involved in or know about.
Rumors are UGLY things, rarely is there a rumor of something good, it generally is of a negative side & is just what it is.....a RUMOR!
Perhaps she was 'working' on recovering from a serious illness, or trying to conceive, or 'working' getting over a miscarriage, or 'working' to get over a bad relationship, maybe she was on a 'trial' in another school for a better position...WHO knows? SHE knows & she's chosen not to tell & that is her right.
As long as your child is getting a good education from her class & she is attentive to the children & their needs for that education, be happy, let her do her job & leave the rumors & innuendo where they belong, in the minds of small people who are either jealous or have nothing better to do than to spread evil & dissention....
No, you don't have a right to know. It's none of your business. I'm not sure why this would keep you up at night. Ughhh, rumors!!!
ETA: I was breathing just fine before you changed your post and left out rumors, home schooling because of your stress and being so stressed about it that you couldn't sleep. It's none of your business. If she wanted to share private information with you, thats great but you want her EMPLOYER to??? Uh, no. I may have been curious but I would have gone to bed.
this is how rumors get started and careers are ruined.
Why does it matter? Seriously? We had a teacher "lose it" at school. She was going through a TON of personal drama - and she wouldn't admit she was AD/HD - no kidding - the kids couldn't even keep up with her - not to mention she seemed a tad bi-polar happy one minute and crying the next. She left for almost the whole school year. Rumors flew. She is back now. As an "aide" so she no longer has the stresses of being a teacher.
So what I'm saying is - really - it's none of your business unless her behavior was detrimental to the children. If you don't like how things are run- join the PTA. Go directly to the principal. But really - it's NONE of your business why she was out. If she wants to discuss it - fine. If not - leave it alone.
If she had done something wrong (slapped a kid) then most likely, she wouldn't be coming back. So unless you know the facts? all you are doing is spreading lies and rumors. You want to know the truth - you go directly to her and ask. Otherwise. Stop listening to the rumors.
So your child's teacher is a child abuser in your eyes convicted via rumors? Perfect.
No, unless she has been charged with something (which is public record, btw), no, it is none of your business why she missed school.
:(
I'm with Jo W and Cheryl and others. Absolutely stop the mama drama.
Okay, rumors are rumors and consider the source, CHILDREN! No, chances are you have NO legal right to an explanation. I would, however send the teacher a welcome back card and politely ask the reason for her absense, chances are after she has heard the rumors she will send something home to the parents explaining her leave. Again, it is HER choice - the school may not even know the full reasoning and only have half an answer but take her at her word. I would give her the benefit of the doubt that kids are kids and rumors are rumors.
One of my son's school's teachers (I volunteer) just left the other day to go to Mexico, her mother is dying and she said she will be there "for as long as it takes" - my take away from that is she will come back after the funeral, I am guessing she will be gone a few weeks.
Totally with Cheryl here. Please don't listen to rumors, and talk to your children about not repeating them. Kids are notorious for inventing things when there is a lack of information; kids and adults can't stand a vaccuum so try to fill it with speculation, which takes on the tint of fact the more it's spread around. Even if she did lose it and grabbed a kid, if she is returning, that means it likely was not a firing offense. (I know, that 's not a lot of comfort.) And the reason for the sudden departure may be something utterly different that she asked the school to keep private -- from death in the family (as someone else said) to her own serious illness and treatment. I've known folks who kept everyone in the dark when they had cancer and were getting treatments.
Meanwhile, if I were you, I too would be worried, but I'd try to sit down and think: What has been my own child's relationship with this teacher? Did they have a good relationship? Has my own child ever reported any problems with this teacher that raise red flags for me? If not, then assume that the teacher is coming back and focus your child on schoolwork. And remember there are only about two to three months of school left, depending on your school's schedule.
You asked, "Why can't the school talk about it?" Schools are employers just like Microsoft or the local burger joint. There are laws that prevent employers from discussing matters relating to employees, employee discipline or employee health issues. The school cannot address the rumors because the school probably would be breaking the law to talk about this teacher at all -- even if she was only out due to her own illness or another non-school-related reason.
I hate gossip! If it was what somebody said and not what someone saw, than it is gossip! Shaking my head...
Can you put yourself in her place and you come back to a rumor mill? What if you had take off work because of your marriage or personal life was in trouble and you had to take off before you have a break down! and you had to come back to this mess. You would have to take another personal leave!
If you had a hand in the rumor mill you should do as a grown woman would do and the next time it comes up tell these grown woman to stop it! A PERSONAL LEAVE IS PERSONAL.
I know this isn't the same, but it is a perfect example of people assuming lies and rumors are true.
My kids go to a private school that is preschool-12th. Kids start evaluating whether or not they are going to stay for HS when they are in 8th grade. Some kids want more sport options, bigger class sizes, more activities, etc. And even do NOT want the tough curriculum. When my daughters class was in 8th grade (she's a junior now) A LOT of kids and parents were looking elsewhere. We never looked. We love the school our daughter loves the school and we knew that the HS was great because our son had gone through there. Anyway, I got a phone call at home one day from a friend who asked why we were leaving? I told her that I didn't know what she was talking about. When she heard the tone in my voice she refused to tell me who had told her that story, but she was told that we were pulling our daughter out because of HS issues with our son. WHICH WAS A FLAT OUT LIE! I had never said that, ever, to anyone! I actually was one of the parents trying to convince people not to leave because of our experience! And not only did just my friend hear it, it was all over school. When I went in to school the next time the school receptionist mentioned it.
Point is, whether someone flat out lied about this teacher hurting a child, or made assumptions from something a kid said, it is still just a rumor.
She owes you or the other parents no explanation. And I agree with the other posters, if it was something like the rumor mill is suggesting, I doubt she'd be back. Whether she was on medical leave, dealing with a sick or dying relative or friend, going through a divorce or anything, it's none of your business. Let her come back and get back into the groove of her life. Tell your child how exciting it is to have her back because if she knows and understands your fears and anxieties she'll carry them on in the class herself.
Legally, they can't tell you anything and it is unfair to ask an employer to reveal personal information about an employee. What if she was receiving medical care, or had a sick family member?
The fact that she was out is her business and only her business. If it had to do with a safety issue or an investigation, also, not your concern unless it proved she was guilty.
I went through this with my son's kindergarten teacher - she missed round up, was in and out and eventually she left in the last semester. All the parents were curious, but no one knew. One mom asked, but didn't get an answer either.
Sorry. . .
Rumors started by children and bored housewives?
Pathetic.
A teacher MAY decide to share why she's out, or not, it's her business, no one else's :(
ETA: no I would NOT be curious hearing rumors like this (especially coming from a child!) I HATE gossip, it's disrespectful and irresponsible.
I would let it go. Friend of mine (who doesn't work for a school but works in healthcare) was put on leave while something was investigated. She was cleared and returned to work. So say the teacher was accused of something by a student but the student lied (has happened) and the teacher was on leave for a time while it was investigated....do you really need to know? They may not be able to speak to you about internal personnel issues.
Or, like someone else suggested, maybe she got called on a jury and had to be sequestered. But all this is just more speculation and rumor, which doesn't need to be bandied about.
Recently, my SD's school was evacuated. Rumor was that someone had set off a stink bomb or tear gas in the Special Ed hallway, something that got all the kids riled up. Turned out (report from the school) that there was a minor gas leak in a science classroom that was immediately handled and all the other sources of gas in the school were also checked for leaks. The smell was the additive that the company uses to alert you to leaks.
It sounds like WHATEVER it was, the issue has been resolved and the teacher is coming back. Let her do her job. Teach your kids to roll on and just get back to business.
I think if she was abusive to a child she would not be coming back. I think an explanation of she was working or she had some personal issues going on is more than enough. If she is being brought back in, she is more than capable to do her job.
Now if she had honestly hurt a child, I bet she would be fired and never teach again.
As much as I'd want to know, I'd let it go. I also have a close relationship with all of my kids teachers. I see them regularly and email weekly. I like to keep in touch with what is going on, even if it's all good things! Plus it's nice for the teachers to hear that I think they are doing a great job with my kids!
You wouldnt believe some of the rumors the kids came up with about teachers in our school when I was a kid. I look back now and feel bad about spreading them! No, teachers have a right to their personal life.
Rumors are just that rumors... when she returns if she wants the class to know why she was out she will let them know. With all the current laws, the school can't tell you anything if she asked for it to be private.
As for pulling them out - why are you concidering that? Was she a good teacher before she started missing? Have they been learning during her absents? Have you giving her a chance to get back into the classroom & teach the kids?
Let the rumors go - and let her teach & the kids learn.
I understand your curiousity. I'd be curious too.
But it's the teacher's private life.
Teach VOLUNTARILY informed everyone of Medical Leave.
Teach VOLUNTARILY informed of father's death.
For whatever reason, she wants to keep this private. Maybe she'll tell you more when she returns, but I would err on the side of respecting her privacy.
(What if she was a crime victim? Certainly that might be better left private)
Why not just put and end to the rumors and ask the principal? Just say "while I understand that you have privacy concerns to consider, there are quite a few rumors going around that Ms. so and so did X,Y,Z and that is why she was out. Can you please address the rumors?" And see what he says. Whenever the rumor mill is running rampant at any of the kids' schools (which happens at the middle school) the principal has always been upfront with sharing whatever information he can to address the concerns. In the cases that I'm aware of it's always been about students, but any concerns about a teacher should be addressed as well. If the principal says that it was personal, then accept that response and be done with it.
I would totally be curious and want to know why. But, NO, you don't have a "right" to know.
I'll be honest, I didn't read all the response so I apologize if I'm repeating. I don't feel we have a 'right' to know, but some inclination would put our curious nature to rest maybe.
If she was 'working' the whole time, it may have been in an admin role away from children until an incident could be investigated. The investigation could have proved no reason to keep her from children any longer.
As far as being told about her previous absences, that was highly unprofessional by the school district to tell you why she was out. Just my two cents
Kristen W. answers from Seattle on March 16, 2012
I would totally be curious and want to know why. But, NO, you don't have a "right" to know.
This.
I definitely don't think it's anyone's business why a teacher has missed some school, and the school doesn't owe anyone an explanation. If I missed work for any reason, I'd be pissed to find out that my employer told my clients why I was out....doesn't matter if it was for a major surgery or a dentist appointment. Everyone is allowed privacy, even teachers. Don't dwell on it.
NO, I would not be curious or concerned becuase its none of my business. The school owes NO explanation. If your daughter has never had a problem with this, I can't imagine why you would lose sleep over this (I think you had this in the original post and then edited out.)
You make is sound like they are feeding you a line about her "working" the entire time. Maybe she was on workers comp and was assigned to light duty work and was given a project to complete at home. Again, NOT your business.
You clearly want someone to agree with you and it looks like everyone has given you the same advice - ignore the rumors.
Teachers are entitled to their privacy just like everyone else. If I had heard the rumors, I would ask my child if she has ever seen the teacher being mean or doing anything that she thought was being cruel or hurting a child. Actually, as I typed that the thought struck me that I ask all kinds of questions every day about my GD's day, including how was your teacher today. So I'm fairly certain that if anything had been going on with the teacher and students, she would have mentioned things already so I would probably already have a inkling if it had been something like the teacher putting her hands on a student. If she had never mentioned any incidents, I probably would disregard the rumors.
So, no I don't think we have a "right" to know, although it would be nice to know.
My first response from reading the title was NO, you do not have right to know why a teacher wasn't in school.
However, after reading the email I agree it's weird that they are letting all these rumors fly around without addressing them. It would be in the school's (and the teacher's) best interest to address the rumors or at least be a little less vague... It sounds fishy because they are being so vague.
I wonder what she'll tell the kids upon her return?
Try not to buy into the rumors. They could be totally made up because there was no information given and people wanted to speculate. OR maybe something did happen that they had to investigate (which is why she would be "working" the whole time, just kept out of the classroom while they investigate) and it came to be unfounded so she can return to the classroom. If that were the case you would hope the teacher could keep her dignity and NOT get her name dragged through the mud.
Either way, she's back now so best to move forward...
No you don't have the right to know anything about the teacher's absence. When there is no information provided some people feel it's their business to make up stuff and spread it around. Isn't it sad that these grown women have nothing better to do? The best thing you can do right now is to make sure your child is ok with the transition back to her regular teacher and act as if it doesn't really matter because in the end the only thing that really matters is your child.
If the reason was due to her treatment of a child, then yes you have the right to know and the school MUST tell you, should have told you.
If the absence was not classroom related, then no you don't have a right to know and it will be the teacher's choice as to what she does and doesn't say.
Wow how the imagination soars and the stories start to fly! What happened in the past that gave you a reason to suspect the rumors about this teacher are true?
I think it is absolutely appropriate, fair and reasonable to expect and/or ask for an explanation (especially since you've be given reasons for the absence before). I am wondering if it is a public school, and there was some sort of disciplinary action, would this be a matter of public record? If she was "working" was she in the "rubber room"-this is a NYC public school thing. Also, if its a private school, I believe you are paying good money to get as much info as possible about the teacher. Either way, possibly sharing the fact that rumors are flying about the teacher might persuade administration. I have read no other responses so forgive me if I have repeated things others have said.
You are justified. Its a parent's job to know everything. Good luck.
At this point, it is probably a non-issue since she is coming back. If she had done something bad to a child, then I am sure that she would not be allowed back. That being said, I would have started asking questions long before a month passed. No, it is not really your business what is going on with the teacher. However, it IS you business if your child's education is affected. Did they have a different sub every day or the same one? I would have asked the principal what was going on personally. He might not have told you, but I would have asked.
I don't think you have a right to know. You have a right to ask, of course, and they have the right not to answer.
I realize you think it's odd and worrisome that she disappeared, and I would feel the same. But as long as your child is fine, why do you care at this point? She's not coming back, and the reason she left will have little to no impact on your family going forward. If you are concerned that she may have abused your child, then talk to your child, otherwise it really has no bearing on you at this point.
Things happen. If it was a family emergency then they don't really have to tell you anything. It would be nice to know and it would keep rumors from flying but they have a right to their personal life. If it involves actions taken with the school then yes I think you should be told the nature of the offense. It doesn't sound like that, If your childs schooling has suffered because the teacher has been gone then speak with the principal. If it hasn't I wouldnt worry about it. Schools plan for sudden loss of teachers due to emergencies so it is likely the class continued it it's entirety.
In general, I would say that you do not have a right to know the specific reason. I would expect the principal to usually just say it is a "personal leave" if the teacher doesn't want to disclose the truth (maybe she is having a major medical procedure or something like that).
However, I do think you should talk to the principal regarding the rumors. Make sure there is no truth to them. Express your concern without prying into the teacher's personal life. Hopefully the principal will be able to ease your concerns.
I think that you ABSOLUTELY have a right to know if her absence was related to disciplinary action for a behavior at school (i.e., slapping a kid, or leaving bruises, as you said). With that said, however, if her absence was of a personal nature, it is none of anyone's business. I would ask the principal if her absence had anything to do with an issue in the classroom. If it did not, I would leave it alone.
I taught for 12 years at both private and public schools. A private school sent out a letter explaining another teacher's personal problems. It was a violation of law.
I believe we have a right to know, but legally we don't.
