Do Toddlers Need to Socialize?

It is good to have playdates for the kids, but they will play side by side and most are not going to interact until about 3-4 years old. It is important too for the parents to socialize too! It is a good experience for him to be with other kids even if they take the toys away because he will learn how to respond. As long as the mother is teaching her toddler how to share...she may not be ready to share until age 4, but it is good for them to be exposed to other kids and how they play.

Sounds like my Daughter. she is almost 23months. she plays well, will run around a play area and have a blast. Its hard to get her to leave. I've seen her with other kids and they come by and snatch toys from her but she just looks at them and keeps playing.
SHe likes to say hi but does her own thing.

Some social play time is good exercise for toddlers, but they don't tend to play cooperatively until about age 4. Children should not be forced to socialize because until age 4 or 5, children are developing their self. It is very important for them to be focusing on their own internal development. Obviously some practice with other kids is good, but children aren't always going to share or play together, which is ok. It will all come in it's own time if encouraged and allowed to happen naturally.

D.,

Toddlers are at a developmental stage we call egocentric. This term is not used for young children the way it is used for adults. In a toddler it simply means that they are developmentally incapable of putting themselves in the shoes of another. Put simply to them the world revolves around them. This isn't something we can change, they have to mature out of it. When we socialize toddlers we are supporting this maturing process. However because they are egocentric sharing is a very challenging skill. Everything that they play with is as important to them as our house or our car. We don't share those, they are too important to us. When setting up toddler classrooms we address this issue in a couple of ways. First no toddler toys are permitted from home. This creates neutral territory and makes it easier for the glimmer of sharing to happen. Secondly, we provide multiples of favorite toys. Toddlers interact through parallel play. They don't actually play "with" one another, they play along side one another. Multiples of favorite toys allow this parallel play to happen.

Keep up the play dates you need the relationships with the parents as much as he needs them with the children. Know there will continue to be struggles because of this developmental egocentrism. If you feel that your son is not benefitting, make the playdates at a neutral playcenter where there are other toddlers for the little girl to interact.

I think it is but every child is different like my son is naturally social while my daughter is not so we emphasize more preschool environments for her at a younger age and I really think it has helped. Sometimes like us kids don't play well with certain kids and that may be the case with that little girl. I try to find kids with things in common with my little ones. My son was at 19mos laid back and when kids were like that he seemed kinda shocked. Why don't you find a play group where he can be around multiple kids every so often? With my middle child we enrolled her in preschool at age 2 2two times a week just for social reason but she did learn but it was more interactive and play based. But with her she was very shy and really didn't interact with kids which is why we did that.

Toddlers are very independent. They are more likely to play with adults then with kids but gradually that changes to around age 3. So don't worry about socializing your child. Play dates are fun but at this age it really is about themselves. Kids have to learn first that they are an independent person before they can learn to play with others. That is part of the reason they learn the word "No" and "Mine". What you witness with this little girl is what is called parallel play, kids play next to one another but really each are doing their own thing. Your son sounds like my son and can be passive which is good but I am sure as he enters the age of 2 that will change and he will start to use NO and take things, kids all develop these skills at their own rate, the little girl maybe faster at developing the independence but all kids go through the stage at one point. If you enjoy the company of the other mom, then I say keep with the playdates. If it's only for the socialization I suggest just wait a while, even in 6 months time you will see a huge change in how the little girl and your son will play. You may also find another child your son's age or older who will play well with your son. I know my 2 year old plays better with boys and is starting to not just parallel play but more interaction especially with boys who are closer to age 3, he is 28 months old now.

good luck

My kids had similar experiences with other children early on. They didn't really become comfortable with children outside our family until they started school. I think it's ok to wait to "socialize" him. Or find a younger child that isn't so pushy so he can get used to other children. They dont play together until about 3 anyway.

I don't know how long you've been interacting with this other little girl, but I can relate.

I have a 15-month-old little girl and she's just happy as can be. I think I haven't done my job in arranging play dates often enough, as when we do go to a play date, she is more into the "new" toys and me than the kiddos. She doesn't know what to do when other kids come over and take her toys or pull her shirt, etc. She just looks at me and then may start to fuss a little for help.

I don't know that I have any advice, just wanted you to know your situation sounded familiar. I think it's pretty normal.