Do Some People Suffer for Attention?

Shortest answer ever: Yes. She's an attention wh*re.

Have a great day! Hopefully you'll get past the morning/midday/afternoon/evening sickness soon!

I met someone online like that. She lives near me and I be-friended her to talk to her about her efforts at running a daycare. She got pregnant shortly after. I'll be darned if I could not stand it. She was exactly like that and it seemed she worked REALLY hard to come up with things to say about it everyday. But I just kept reminding myself that I was excited and talked about it quite a bit too.

Now her child it here and she talks about him just as much. Only I think I'm about to unsub as it is one complaint after another about not getting sleep and she even came out and said, "I'm not having another kid. I like my sleep too much". It's kind of hard to see her say that and then 2 seconds later she's oohing and cooing over his smile or a squeal he just made.

First, congrats to you!!!! Yes, she is an attention hog! I am pregnant as well and I can NOT stand it when people speak that way--I am annoyed just reading the post---I can imagine how you feel! If I were you, I would tell her asap because you don't want to have a huge blowout and end up saying something like---- its not all about you! other people are pregnant as well--including ME! :) Hang in there and maybe stop giving her advice--when she realizes the spotlight isn't on her anymore, she will have to beg you to give her advice again. GL

M

I was going to guess it was her first by your description of her at first!

That does sound super annoying! But then again, there's not a thing you can do about it unless you want to call her out on it (which would probably be hurtful and ruin a friendship if it's an important one to you). So, in my opinion, all you're going to be able to do is ignore her as much as possible. On facebook, block her statuses from being on your feed. Anytime you hear her going on and on, just smile and think of your own growing family :) Or you could try to be b*tchy and make your announcement and start talking about how you USED to feel that way weeks ago when you were only that far along :p

In my experience, there are two types of pregnant ladies.

Type One just goes about daily life. Yes, she is pregnant. Yes sometimes it sucks. Sometimes help is nice but she can still function. She will graciously accept aid when given but if she doesn't get help she will handle things on her own with minimal complaints. After all, she is pregnant...not an invalid.

Type two complains constantly and thinks that pregnancy equates to special status and therefore special treatment. She wants everyone to think about her constantly. She wants everyone to do things for her constantly. She wants pity and attention constantly. All of this solely because she is pregnant.

Your friend is Type Two.

Some people's "self worth" comes from outside. Some people have to be the center of attention. A bit narcissitic. It is rather annoying. The only thing you can do is block her posts on fb like another said, avoid her, change the subject on her when she brings it up again, walk away, or just simply ignore her. Don't encourage it. Or tell her once and for all, look I am pregnant too and experiencing what you are going through so I do know what you are dealing with but I don't need to hear about it all the time from you when I am in the same shoes.

Good luck!

Maybe she is just excited and not as reserved. Some people like to share every bit of themselves, some don't. Im not sure id call it a need for attention but a need to be social which is different.

or maybe she is just an egotistical bore, :)

I'm just excited for YOUR pregnancy, congrats :)

Attention whores tend to disappear when they STOP getting the attention. Trust me, you're not the only one noticing how obnoxious she's being. She's digging her own grave right now, and it won't take long before she has to lie in it.

Hold your head high and be proud of yourself for not acting like that!! That's CLASSY, something this world needs to see more of ;)

I say just let her be in her pregnancy. If this is how she wants to spend her time and remember her pregnancy then let her. I wouldn't let her actions get you all riled up. Enjoy yours as well.

Good luck and congrats!

my guess is she is lonely. LIKE REALLY LONELY. She is starved for it at home and is looking for it elsewhere. What is concerning is that in her need she is pushing others away. I am having an issue with a friend right now that thinks everything her 1 kid does is better, more, worse, wilder or crazier than my 3. She has an 8 year old, I ahve a 1, 2 and 4 year old. NO matter what I say or story I tell she has one better than me, and she complains non stop how tired, how fed up, how over worked (shes a SAHM and when she did work it was part time for a church answering phones), how her daughter is so demanding and all this and that. I smile and I take it and I try to chime in, but I just limit my exposure to her as much as possible, I often block what she says on FB cause its infuriating to me. She used to be one of my besties in HS, and then she went born again christian fanatic on me and disappeared cause I chose not to follow her wacky ways. So she just recently popped back up in my life because she saw and add for kids clothes I posted in Craigslist. She wanted to buy them from me. So I said they are smaller than your daughter, and she was like "no I am 5 weeks prengnant and want to get ready" I said they are girl 2t clothes? you sure you want that? "yep I am positive that this one is a girl" so it was born last month and it was a boy. HAHAH she shelled out like 20 bucks for all my girls clothes. I figured she had to be desperate for friends for that. I guess my suggestion is if she is bugging you and whining, I wouldnt be mean but just matter of fact. "Listen (lisa or who ever) if you sick take you meds, if your pregnant brain forgot then there is nothing to complain about here take some of mine" If she refuses, and still complains then say, look I offered if you cant handle it maybe you should go home and get some rest. Offer to drive her home or take her to the moms room. Here is what I do occasionally to get a kick, I SMOTHER that person in one on one attention. Making sure to make it loud, obnoxious and blatant. Often pulling strangers and other mothers attention towards that person and utterly embarrassing them. Generally they leave me alone after that LOL.

You can tame it by blocking her posts from showing in your feed.

I do quite a bit of attention-seeking on FB, because I am pretty alone most of the time, and it helps me to cope with stress so that I don't take it out on my kids.

I am cracking up @ HenrysMamma's answer right now!!

You said you guys are friends, but it doesn't sound like you like her much. It's my experience that people are how they are so it's likely that she's always been like this to some extent, right? But now it's in overdrive & bothering you even more because A. you're not only pregnant as well, but farther along than she is & B. your hormones are all out of whack right now, too. Personally I'd just hide her status updates, but I'd also get ready to tell all of your friends about your pregnancy. Once that's out there she'll likely shut up about hers (at least after the first time that she says, "Isn't this morning sickness AWFUL?" & you give her a snarky reply like HenrysMamma suggested).

Maybe.
Just know that you will be the O. to appear more "normal" when people connect the dots.
Pregnancy is not a competition, but I'm sure some have a tougher time with it than others.

Get the book the 5 Love Languages, then look up Words of Affirmation. In other words tell me how good I am and how wonderful I'm doing all the time.
Maybe miss a dose of your Zofran and throwup on her next time.

As ny mom would say, Ignore, Ignore, Ignore.

You are right to distance yourself. She would annoy me too and I would probally slip and say something, looking like the bad guy.

I've known people like this with non-pregnancy health related issues too. It is highly annoying . . . it almost seems like they are conditioned from childhood that that's the only way to get attention. I don't know.

As with any one-sided "friendship" - my coping method is to minimize it in my life. Of course there are times when a friend will have an extraordinary need, and you want to be there for them. But when it's always one-sided that's a different story.

You need to tell your friends that you are pregnant. They might think that you were dissing them by not telling them. So get that done, right away!

Now to your prego-crazy friend... yes she is prego-crazy! Aren't you glad you aren't like that? Be the level-headed one with your friends, ignore her whining, and give your other friends an "oasis" to travel to. I really mean that. You don't all have to do everything together all the time. Do stuff with her, and then you other gals go do something without her. If she asks why, tell her flat out that you felt that she was too tired/sick/unhappy to "do it all". And then change the subject. She might actually stop complaining so much if she isn't invited to as much.

Now, promise that you are going to shine about your pregnancy, make people happy to be with you, the happy pregnant lady!

Congratulations on having a happy pregnancy too!

Dawn

Congrats on your pregnancy! Well, I would stop hanging out with her and hide her on facebook. Just politely and gently avoid her. She sounds too self centered for me. And you should let your friends know you are pregnant! It will be refreshing for them to be around a pregnant woman who is not constantly looking for attention.

Yes, it is possible. I remember the severe naseua and I don't think that can be forgotten about. Some people create drama just for attention.

Congrats on your pregnanacy.

Distance yourself from her. Hide her FB posts. I really can't stand people that a) scream "look at me", and b) complain without helping themselves.

she would drive me nuts! Keep your distance....& enjoy some Peace!

& as for your question: do some people suffer for attention?

Obviously, YES! There's been 3 questions in the past 2 days about how bad we mamas are about either not agreeing with the poster or even ignoring/not answering at all!

YES, absolutely. Bless you for being her friend!

How funny that I am so glad we did NOT have Facebook back in the day when I was having kids! I had a friend like that. EVERYTHING she did was soooooo great, soooo new, sooooo never had anyone been pregnant like her!!
Wasn't this person like this before the pregnancy? People do not just all of sudden turn this way, they are like this ALL the time! I am surprised you're her friend at all.
Good Luck with your pregnancy. I hope you start feeling better so you can enjoy being pregnant.
Blessings!
D.

Omg, that would get on my nerves! To answer your question, YES. Secondly, you can hide her posts on FB. Just set it where you would have to go to her wall to see what she's saying. It won't come up on your wall.

As annoying as it is--especially when you have your own hormones to deal with--you have to let people be who they are. I would bet almost anything that she is unfulfilled in her marriage somehow and requires attention from outside to feel worthy. It's your choice if you give it to her. Maybe she only feels worthy when she's pregnant and feels the need to play martyr--oh, the sacrifices that we good mothers make for our children, even before they're in our arms!

All I can say is no two pregnancies are alike so don't gauge her behavior and status by using your own situation as a litmus test. She very well could be suffering and it has nothing to do with her seeking to be center of attention, or just being a needy person.

I had horrible pregnancies, but kept silent and convinced I was insane. When I'd tell my ob all the symptoms, pains and miseries I was having they'd just tell me it was in my head! So I started totally thinking I was over reacting when I did speak up, because people would TELL ME I was over-reacting because I had friends who were still running/jogging everyday, mowing the lawn, and living life business as usual, while I was barely able to function. So I started believing them, that I was over-reacting and started ignoring everything that was bothering me even though I felt like I was dying.

It wasn't until I blacked out at a mall while shopping w/my 2 year-old did anyone confirm that I truly was as bad off as I felt. I had two complications that the OB had missed, but because everyone nowdays believes you can do pretty much what you've always done while pregnant, and that everyone should feel normal doing it, I ignored my body and got myself into some real trouble!

Don't discount your friend. Especially if she isn't like this normally. She could very well be suffering and needing empathy and REAL help but isn't getting it because everyone wants to label a pregnant woman who speaks out as whiney and needy.

Give her the benefit of the doubt. It's early in the game, she may be in for a seriously rough ride, or things could taper off once she gets well into 2nd or 3rd trimester. Only time will tell.

If she annoys you and you can't be empathetic, just distance until you yourself feel better about her.