K.P.
She may still be grieving but after 4.5 years she needs to quit blaming yall and deal with the fact that from the sound of it her sister caused her own death. I would personally not let it go anymore it has been long enough, she may need to seek some counceling in order to deal with it. I do think it is great that yall are not letting her memory die. My daughter shares a birthday with my husbands grandfather who died less than a month before her birth (she was special in that she is the first girl in their family for 5 generations) and we are trying our best to keep him involved as part of our children's lives in his absense. I hope we can keep it going as long as you have and longer.