Do I Have Too Much on My Plate?

Well I think that all that matters is how much you want those things. The more you want them the harder you'll work for them.

I've been through a lot in the past few years (since getting pg with my boys when I was 17) and it's been extremely overwhelming at times. I've been through my xh being unfaithful, divorce, teen pregnancy and parenthood, working full time, going to college full time...it's been hard...but the hard work will pay off.

Hang in there...in the short run, it seems really bad and all, but...in the long run you're going to benefit from all the hard work. Do not push yourself to do more than you can do...just try your hardest.

Hi,
I think it's time to give yourself a break!!! We are human beings not human doings! Where is your balance? There 's a quote I love that states, "If you want to know what my priorities are, ask me what I did today." Think about it. Btw, I'm a certified life coach, so if you'd like to talk...my e-mail is ____@____.com. I'm relocating to Goshen in the spring.

Dear L.,

I would say that you have a very full plate. First of all I would say do not feel bad to be still living at home with your mom. As it may not be what you want perhaps it is convient and a little less financial stress for you right now. When you have your own place it adds a whole new level of stress to your life. Not necessarily bad stress but it will still be extra to your plate. Take it easy on yourself losing the baby weight takes time and it took nine months to put it on it doesn't come off that quickly for most. I would say work on eating healthy and try not to stress so much about the weight. Focus on your wedding planning and finishing your masters degree. May be your masters needs to go at a slower pace for a bit. While you plan your wedding and look for a home/apartment. Remember your baby is only little once and while you need to take care of you enjoy every moment that you can with your baby. They grow very quickly and time for dieting, household duties, will always be there. Bundle your little one up and put her in a stroller and take some fast walks. Park a little further away from the grocery store so you have further to walk. When baby is playing or napping if you get 10 minutes do some floor exercises. ex. stomach crunches or leg lifts whatever you want to work on. When you cook a meal now cook enough for two meals that way you can freeze half of it for another time. Keep in mind you are not alone and what seems important today will not be so overwhelming tomorrow. Try to relax and take it all in stride. It does get better.

L.,

You can make it through. I promise.

I second the recommendation on the crockpot. It will save you a ton of time. Additionally, when you cook, cook twice as much at one time. It doesn't take any extra time, and you will make an extra meal each time that you can just heat up quick, so you're only cooking every other night.

You mention that you are working on your master's degree. Good for you! This will make a world of difference for the future, so make it a priority. My husband is pursuing hismaster's as well. His university has almost all of their classes available online, so he's only needed to take one class where he actually goes to school. It makes a world of difference, sicne he can do it all from home, in his own time. See if you can do this, then you can study and all from home after she goes to bed.

I'd say skip the gym. Its a place where you can afford to drop the ball, if you've got too many in the air. While fitness is a great thing, and we all want to looki dynamite on our wedding day, you will anyway with or without the 10 pounds! If it's really important to you, try walking for exercise during your lunch break at work. It's free, and it doesn't take up your time with your little girl.

If I were in your position, I would set my prioirities in this order:

1. Daughter time
2. School
3. Work
4. Save money
5. Get fit

When you work on achieving your goals on each item, think about it from the standpoint of affecting the items above it as little as possible. Like saving money doesn't rate as high as going to school does, so I wouldn't skip the semester in order to avoid spending the money.

We women can have it all. It's just hard to have it all AT ONCE. Do the best you can, keep your priorities straight, and you'll work out the parts that are most important. You may not achieve it all, but you'll get to the things that matter most. Be proud of what you accomplish, and how hard you work to better your life and your daughter's, and let the rest go.

My husband cooks for the week on Sunday. He'll make 2 big meals like Meatloaf and Baked Ziti. And we eat from it all week. It truly doesn't take that long, maybe acouple hours. And it saves me loads of time during the week. I also work full-time and don't get home until about 5:30 and my son eats at 6. Not much time to cook, so we eat left overs all week.

Hi...I am new here, was reading through some posts and saw yours. While I was reading I thought "CROCKPOT". Get yourself a crockpot. There are many "crockpot recipes" online. It's a great timesaver...I use mine all the time..I even cook chicken and turkey breast in it. The time you have free from not having to cook when you get home from work could be time you spend with your daughter. I hope my little tidbit helped. Good luck to you :o)

Hi L.,
I feel if your asking if it's too much on your plate that it probably IS. Everyone handles things differently and it appears your doing a WONDERFUL job at raising your daughter. KUDOS to you. I remember the old days when my kids were born. I worked full time too, 3 kids and it was EXHAUSTING.Never a moment for yourself. My 21 year old asks me how can anyone really have a child and cook, clean, study for college, do all the other things needed at the same time. LOL. You don't. I think you need to prioritize things. I never did the mommy and me classes. I hear they're fun. But if you decide to do that then maybe every other Saturday instead of every Saturday.
You don't need to cook for a week all in one day. Try to double your recipes when you do cook. Freeze one and eat the other that night.
If you go back to get your Master's are you also going to quit your full time job or do both???? Even though we love our children and it's hard to be away from them, you know it's for their own good to be the best you can be. By getting your Master's Degree will be hard because your away from her. BUT it's something that you should do while you have the chance. It's securing your future financially if anything were to happen that made you the sole bread winner in your family. Always be prepared for your future.
Baby weight will come off without going to a gym. The gym is a good time to socialize with other women instead of baby talking all day. But you can spend time with your child by pushing them in the stroller while jogging and it's FREE. I believe they make those types of strollers now adays. LOL.
I can't help in the cooking department. My daughter loves to cook meals from scratch but I'm not good at it. My mother in law taught her how to do that. lol. I'm sure if you want to practice a Mexican or Italian dish that my daughter would be happy to help you. And the kids could play together too. Well that's it for now. Hope I gave some advice you could use. Feel free to email me any time.
D.

Hi L.,
You defiantly have way too much planed for a short period of time. Here is what I would do: concentrate on one thing… I know they are all important but it will work out for the best if you concentrate on one thing at the time. For example, make the time with your daughter the main priority, especially now that so many things will change in you life she will feel a bit left out. The gym thing… I don’t know, it costs a lot and most of the time it will not help if you are not maintaining the eating plan. So do what you know will be most rewarding. Cook things that don’t take much time to prep… one of my favorites is to take a baking dish put t cups of rice in it top it with frozen veggies and add any chicken peaces with bones to it and fill the dish with water. Don’t forget to season it with your favorite seasonings. Put it in to oven at a 350 and check on it in 45 min. If all the water is evaporated check if the rice is cooked and if not just add more water and leave it in the oven a bit longer. I don’t cook with oil b/c chicken will add all the fat the dish needs. So you can create healthy, fast and diet friendly dishes.
Good luck!
A. R.

I don't think that it is too much...i think it is a matter of priority....first of all i commend you for continuing your education..that ensures a better future for you and your daughter...talk to your fiance...what suggestions does he have? have you talked to your mom about how you are feeling? my advice may not add up to a hill of beans since my son is so much younger, but i think that if you sat down and really budgeted out your time, you wouldn't feel so overwhelmed... (p.s. congratulations on your pending wedding! i've been married for over a year myself! enjoy your new life!)

First of all, take a deep breath. I understand how you could feel overwhelmed, but I promise you, it will all come together eventually. I'd like to tell you that my "best friend" is my crockpot. I don't know what I'd do without it. You throw your dinner together in the morning and it's ready for you when you get home. Being that it's all in one pot, there is less clean up too. Great websites for recipes are nikibone.com and cookingcache.com. You don't have to be a chef to use it. Next, as far as your "baby weight", skip the gym. Bundle your baby up, put her in her stroller and hit the road. Walking is a great way to lose weight and it's something you can do with your daughter. It's bonding time with the weight loss bonus. You get to drop a few pounds and at the same time teach her about your neighborhood. Saving is a hard one. At the end of the day, I take all the change and single dollar bills out of my purse and throw it in a jar. I average about $30 a week. Not much, but it adds up quickly. And lastly, I can only suggest you save homework time for your daughter's bedtime. All the reading you have to do can be done by reading to your daughter. Use silly voices and no matter how boring it is to you, she'll think it's great. I hope all of this helps just a little. Take care and good luck.