Do I Back Off? a Potty-training Dilemma.

Updated on January 07, 2009
L.H. asks from Washington, MI
7 answers

I think I realized that I started training my son too soon for the potty. He was a gem with every other milestone and I could check off every reason that he was ready according to the books. He was a master in a week--that lasted about two weeks. Then he regressed. He still does it, but it's a constant roller coaster game getting him to the potty instead of him doing it in his pants. After about five or six weeks now (it's all a blur), I think I've realized he just isn't interested. Do I back off, and if so, how much? Please help. May sanity is lessening by the minute and I don't want to pressure him anymore. He is 28 months old. Thank you.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

I do think 28 months for a boy is way to early. That doesn't mean it can't be done. All the boys I know used the potty later than the girls. My daughter wasn't interested till she was 3. The boys I know were 3-5, pooping on the potty was the hardest part of the transition for them. I know a just 6yo who is still in pull ups at night.
I wish you an easy transition! And my best advice is not to push them to it. A. H

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T.A.

answers from Grand Rapids on

LH,

I have 5 boys and the youngest is 23 months old. I never even started thinking about potty training until they were 3 years old. I never wanted it to be a battle. Hope this helps.

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

If it were me I'd back off. I started around 28 mo with my first and he'd go but it was more of a fight then it needed to be. I quit and then at 34mo he wanted to walk around with his diaper off (his baby brother had diaper rash and was airing out) so I agreed but firmly told him not to pee on my floor. Thats all it took, but ony because he was ready then. With in that week he was fully potty trained.

Sure, it's not to early at 28 mo's. But it's a lot tougher than waiting until they feel ready too.

With my second son i waited until he was closer to three to start training. And he too took about a week to be fully trained. I started talking about it around 28 mo's but didn't try until around 33-34 mo.

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

Is he in big boy unders? Or still in pull ups?
Hubby tried getting me to train our 2nd when he was 2 1/2 (before #3 arrived) But he is not the type to be forced into it. He would do good for about a week, then regress. I found that being 8 months preggers and forcing potty training was stressing me out so I backed off. We went from unders to pull ups and made sure to tell him that they were "big boy dabbits" (the walmart brand has bugs bunny on them.) I still asked him if he had to go and if he did go in his dabbit I let him know that big boys go on the potty... But I did not force him to sit on the potty. If he told me he had to go, it was a time for a prize. I did remind him to go in and go before bed and right after waking. BUT could not force him to poop on the potty. He did pretty good. Then one day closer to his 3 - 3 1/2 yr mark he just got it. We got him a bigger size of Unders since he had grown. If he did have poop in his unders I let him see me throw them away... I did throw 1 pair of diegos away and he's been good ever since. :-)

There are those who say that they have "potty trained" boys at 2 yrs... But in reality most boys just don't have complete interest in it until closer to 3 or 4 yrs old. I am not one who uses terms like "daytime trained" and "night time trained" Your kid is not potty trainED until they have not had any accidents in at least 2 months. They are still trainING if they do. :-)

You know your childs personality and what YOU can handle.If your having doubts about his readiness then for sure back off a bit and let him lead the way. It is the one way HE can control his life right now and its not something you want to have to fight about with a child.
I would lower the expectations on his going all the time and just ask him to try after waking, before sleeping, and after meals. Applaud the successes and let him know you disapprove of the failures (but don't be too harsh on him).
One day it will click and you'll still have to ask him do you have to go until he's about 12. :-)

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A.P.

answers from Detroit on

Sorry..I do not have any advice but am in the same boat. My daughter is 25 months old and had poop down NEVER went in pants, than stayed the night with dad at my Brothers for the Thanksgiving Parard and has been going in her pants every since. I am interested in all your feed back you get case I have the same questions. Thanks!!

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

That is pretty young for a boy. I'd wait six months and then start trying again. (it's easier in the summer).

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

Don't let anyone tell you he is too young just because he is a boy, my eldest was daytime trained by two after about 6 months of trying and my youngest was 21 months after only 2 weeks training (both boys). Nightime is another matter, they both still have nightime issues but thats more about bladder control and heavy sleeping. It sounds to me if he trained fine for two weeks then he is ready but has realised he has control over this. I say do not give up all together, keep gently pushing. Make a consistent effort, say put him on the potty after every meal and before you go out. That way he is realising what is expected of him. Make a big fuss of him whenever he does use the potty and not so much when he doesn't (don't discipline him when he doesn't). Kids want to please and love attention so make the attention really big when he does what he is supposed to do.
I think if you stop trying all together it will be harder for you to get back on track when you do want to make the effort again.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do, potty training can be very frustrating but he'll get it in the end.

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