Do I Ask ?

I agree. You have to ask. You can do it in a way that doesn't come off as accusatory or negative. We have done that a number of times about a variety of things. Communication is important, but you have to initiate it sometimes.

Yes, I would ask her if she knows what happened and you are concerned. If she is a professional she won't be concerned. You can always start out with a positive statement....like....I really am glad my son has you for a daycare provider....BUT.....

Yes, ask. You are the mommy and have the right to know anything you want about his day...don't feel bad about it.

All of your responses say to ask and double check if he had an accident etc , which yes you should do , but no-one mentioned that it is actually quite common for babies to have these red marks on their heads. When they are babies and don't have a lot of hair the friction of the head touching carpets , couches etc causes red marks on the skin , and is almost always on the back of the head somewhere as they lay on this part the most.

Laura,
why shouldn't you question someone other than yourself who is taking care of your child? Yes you should question. Maybe the answer is simple. Maybe she didn't notice how it got there, how he did it, or how someone else did it. That doesn't mean she is bad at what she does, but she needs to pay a little more attention then. Maybe, she just forgot to tell you because she was overwhelmed. You don't know what the reasons are, but you should certainly question her and find out if she knows what happened.
This is your child, if you don't question who will?
Blessings
I.

Def ask, who cares if you offend her, its your child. And if she gets defensive, theres prob a good reason why...she's prob used to parents asking how there child got some bump or bruise anyway- they are kids

Of course ask. She won't get offeneded if you say, hey I happened to notice a big red spot on the back of my sons head. Did he fall or have an accident? That's it. She'll probably say no, as if she is a professional she would have pointed it out. Never worry about offending someone who is caring for your child. Just ask politely not defensively.

Of course ask. As a Mom and as a teacher at a daycare. Kids fall and bump all the time, and it often leaves no mark at all at the time. It could have been something minor that turned red later. Also, try washing it off. I have inspected more of the children in my care, frantic that they are bruised or bleeding from an injury I didn't witness only to find that it is paint or markers.

But always ask. Communication is important. And think, if he came in with a strange red mark the teacher would probably ask you what happened.

I would ask, not accusing or anything.
Just a mom who needs to know if something happened during the day and if someone knows about it.
Nobody should be offended. Just ask nicely out of concern for your son.

I watch children in my home too. Parents often call me after they get home to ask a question about the day. I do not take any offence to it at all and would never mind it. You have the right to ask about anything that has happened during the day!

This is probably redundant, but definitely ask! I always ask about anything I don't already know about (usually they tell me immediately if they are aware she got a boo-boo), and likewise I've had the daycare call me a few times to ask about a bruise on my daughter. You and the provider both love your son and only want the best for him. It's not an accusation, just getting information and as a parent you need to have all the information. :) good luck

Yes, ask. The way you sound when you wrote about the daycare, it doesn't sound as if you are worried about your child being in a dangerous situation. You don't sound as if you have any bad gut feelings. You just want to know if the day care person noticed it or if she might know where it came from. You could simply call her and say "I noticed this red patch on my son and it isn't fading. I was just wondering if you noticed it, too, or if you might know what it is?"

I always ask and if he gets hurt or bruised at home I also let the day care know what happened. If I forget to let them know something sometimes they think it happened there.

Because the area is not sensitive and he's acting normal, I'd casually ask her the next morning when you take him in. Unless, you're feeling really anxious. Then give her a call. As Jill A. said usually day care people will tell you if anything happened.

As your son gets older you'll see all sorts of marks that go unexplained. They should not be of concern unless there is an actual injury. Bumps and bruises happen. My grandson has a wide scratch/scrape on his abdomen. He didn't remember how it got there. Then there was another scrape overlapping the first one. His mother watched him more carefully and discovered that when he gets down from the top bunk he slides off the railing. That's the cause of the scrape.

You should ask your son's caretakers any time you are concerned. If she is experienced at all she'll recognize your concern and be glad that you asked. She should not be offended. Care takers recognize that mom's have to know what's happening with their child in order to know that the child is well taken care of.

By all means, ask ask ask!! Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's something, but you need to know, he's your baby!!

I would most definitely ask the daycare provider. If you don't take up for your kids, no one else will. You are their voice and their protector. Even if she didn't touch him, I would be highly suspicious as to why she didn't notice it. Maybe she is not paying enough attention to him as she should. Also I would get him checked out just in case.

Ask. There is no reason for your daycare provider to be offended. This way she can be on the lookout for whatever might be causing it. You two are a team for your son's health and well-being.

As an aside: You are nice to care if your daycare provider is offended by a question you ask, but depending on the type of question, that shouldn't matter to you. This type of question, for example, whether or not she gets offended shouldn't enter into the equation as to whether or not you ask. If's not like you're asking if she's got fat! :-)

Ask, always ask. You are your childs advocate -no one else. You need to make sure he is being taken care of.
Call and say you noticed a red mark on the back of his head - did something happen today that you know of?

You have every right to make sure you child is being taking care of in the best possible way by everyone who comes in contact with him. Please do call.

L. M

Of course ask!

You noticed it after you picked him up from daycare... he was not born with it... nor did you notice it in the morning before you took him to Daycare.
So... by process of elimination... it was while he was at Daycare... because that is where he was all day...

good luck, just ask them,
Susan

yes ask. she won't get offended if she's honest - she'll understand.

I would ask. My son is in a Mom's Day Out program at a fairly large Day School and they even have procedures in place to notify parents of injuries to children. I noticed a mark on his arm one night when I was changing him into his PJ's. It looked like a bite mark or a pinch. Since I hadn't been notified of anything, I asked the director of the school to see what she could find out for me. You can't be watching all of the time, but I wanted them to know that something had happened so they could be a little more vigilant going forward. It turns out that he was falling off of a slide outside and one of the teacher aides grabbed his arm to keep him from falling, causing the mark. But, she didn't report it like she should have. His teachers weren't there since the aides are in charge when they are outside, so they didn't know about it and the aide didn't tell them. I was glad that I asked because the aides were reminded that they need to be reporting these things and I got an answer that I was comfortable with (I was sure glad she caught him and he didn't fall on his head or anything. Much happier that he had a little mark on his arm than something more serious from a fall). Nobody's feelings were hurt, but everybody won in my mind.

It can't hurt to ask. Just don't ask in an accusatory tone and it should be just fine. I would just tell her that you noticed the mark and ask if she knows how he might have gotten it. As someone else mentioned, since it is an in home daycare, she just may have forgotten to tell you if it was busy at pickup time or something.

I hope he's okay and that you get the answer you need. Good luck!

I would call and ask, but do it in a way that won't make her get defensive. Just call her and say something like "I noticed a red spot on my son's head, and I was just wondering if you knew what it was from."

I work at a daycare and I say ask her !!!

There's no harm in doing so....it just depends on HOW you ask....

If you already ask in a suggestive tone like she did something to him or didn't care, then yes, she might be offended, but if you ask nicely it shouldn't be a problem....

Don't worry about offending anyone. A reputable daycare should welcome such questions. You can ask without being accusatory. Your baby's well being is first priority and there is no need to feel bad or hesitate.

How long is "awhile" that you have waited to see if it fades? If this is something new and it isn't fading a visit to the doc may be in order. Could be an allergic reaction. Is it raised at all? That would suggest a hive.......so check for more and watch to see if it comes and goes.

How old is your son? If he is an infant, 2 or 3 months old, he could be developing a birthmark that is common to the lower back of the head or nape of the neck. It is commonly called a "stork bite".

It could be his birthmark.

I used to provide child care at home for a friend's daughter. I was never offended when the parents asked me about any aspect of their child's well being. Just say, "I've noticed this bump. Did you see what happened?" When you put it that way, it's non-confrontational. You aren't accusing her of hurting him, you are acknowledging that babies and toddlers get bumps and bruises, but you need to know how it happens. Obviously if you saw a pattern, then you'd need to question the care he is receiving. Which is also well within your rights. When someone takes on the responsibility of caring for a child, she should be ready for questions like this.

Could be a stork bite or angel's kiss. If you son has a lot of hair, it's possible you just haven't noticed it before. With my daughter, I did not really see it until she was about 4-5 months and rubbed of her hair in the back of her head...
It also seems more red, when the baby is hot (for example from sitting in the car seat. If you google stork bite birthmatk you can find pictures of it.

Hope that that's it - otherwise you should definitely speak to your provider.
Good luck!