Do I Accept the Money?

I think the real issue here is: what happens beyond this "one time"?

Are you willing to become her paid part-time babysitter OR will this co-op babysitting ever happen? Will it be all one way....especially since she's already said that she needs someone?

Lots to think about.....one time- don't take the money. If it's regular or non-reciprocal, take the money.

I have a friend that says she would be happy to sit and I dont need to pay her anything. Because of that, I have never asked. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking more than once if I din'y pay. That would be like taking advantage. I have told her, ok, if you wont let me pay, then lets trade. Ill keep yors if you'll keep mine. She's never taken me up on it, so, neither have I. My real life suggestion - take the money, but take the kids to do something with it. Go to chuckee scheese while you have her child, then when the mom pays you, it will just be for what you spent. Offer, after you take the money, to just do a trade next time. You've broken the ice, mom has no need to feel bad that you didnt take her money, the kid had a blast with you and now the arrangemnt is off to a good start.

If it is just a one time thing I say don't take it. Could it be that she doesn't think she could reciprocate and do the favor for you, thus feels it only right to pay?
Sometimes once people have it in their mind to pay it can be almost worse to refuse. If she really insists or is sneaky about leaving it etc use that money to take the kids to a movie, the zoo or something fun like that. Then you can feel better that you didn't take money just to watch her child and the kids can get something out of it.

If this is a one-time "job", then don't take the money. Just let her know that you would love an afternoon to run errands w/o the kiddos and have a day in mind to do so.

If she's looking for a part-time sitter then, yes. Be open with her about it and let her know that you can either make arrangements for a childcare co-op where you exchange "time" or some other support or she can pay you a small rate. Personally, I would opt for the "I'll watch yours if you watch mine" option- keeps $$ out of the friendship and gives you both some "free time"- literally!

Take the money - and expect to pay in same if she watches your child.

You can always talk to her about bartering child care with each other to keep down babysitting costs... but if she starts having you watch her child more than she watches yours - then it's no longer a fair trade.

I would only take the money if you are up for being asked to babysit quite a bit more in the future. She's clearly in need of a babysitter. I would see it as she prefers to pay, rather than reciprocate, and wants a clear conscious that she isn't taking advantage of you, which is nice thing to do, of course. If you want to be her part time babysitter, accept the payment. If you would rather just have her for a friend and exchange playdates and the occasional favor, tell her you won't accept payment from a friend for a once a while favor. If she needs a regular babysitter to call, be honest if you aren't up for taking that on, and maybe suggest she try a local college to find someone.

Friends help each other out by watching kids sometimes, I know I've done it for friends. But I never accept payment for it.

I'd tell her that you are doing this as a favor, and would feel uncomfortable taking money just for helping a friend. Mention that if it turns into a regular thing then y'all can talk about it again, but just helping a friend doesn't require payment because that is what friends are for.

When I did that for a friend, she wanted to pay, I said no, it's not necessary (and I meant it). I think it's reasonable to suggest that you are doing a favor for her and she can return it some time in the future, but if she wanted to make it a more regular thing then paying would be reasonable. If she insists, then accept the money. (If she asks are you sure, just say yes you are).

I ended up babysitting a couple times for my friend and she did it for me one time. It worked out great.

Why don't you two just arrange a few babysitting swaps, so it will all be even (and free)!

I agree with some of the others here who say if it's occasional and you are going to exchange babysitting don't ever take money. MY BFF and I went through a few years where we did that, was great to have date night covered - even family weddings. It was always pretty even - with both of us trying to make sure we were taking our fair share of the kids at our house. When they got a little older we'd do sleepovers and it was even more wonderul! Now our oldest are in HS so it's almost never neccessary anymore.

But if it get to the point where she needs to use you on a much more regular basis like if you're a SAHM and she works or needs to take her elderly mom for medical treatment on a regular basis - then you can take money in the future. Tell her that - let's trade for now - if it gets to be regular then we can discuss it at that time.

My neighbor and I worked it out that if I watched her child so she could work/earn $$ then she would pay me, otherwise it was a neighborly favor and I benefit because my child had a playmate and she occasionally watches my child now. If it is a regular arrangement i.e. every Monday etc, and you have to re-arrange your schedule then accepting $$ may help it feel less burdensome.

I would not accept the money this time around, however if it becomes that she needs you more consistently, then yes, I would discuss money then as it is your time. Be careful though $ is always a tough situation especially w/ friends and family...so just choose the words and such wisely. :)

take the money and save it up to do something nice for her child and yours. Treat them to a movie or something or save it up and give it back to her at Christmas time or donate it in her name or something like that...

I don't think I would accept payment at any time. Just let her know you may use her off and on too. If you accept payment, then you may need to work around her schedule and babysit by her specific rules (you cannot talk on the phone or be on the computer, etc.). I would just let her know you are really just wanting to do it to help her out and you will continue to do so, around your schedule.

Good luck!

If she's offering, then accept it graciously. I watched my best friend's children for over two years almost daily and she paid me for it. I enjoyed it, but the money came in handy because the kids ate dinner at my house and it helped me save for other things. We've always done things for each other and this was our way of helping each other out at the time.

We don't keep a scoreboard. We just do what we need to do without keeping a tally of money or favors.

My best friend used to babysit my kids when I worked. It wouldnt be all day, I just went on appointments and was usually back quickly. Since I WAS out making money, I felt that I needed to pay her and she accepted. But, for other stuff, like me going to the gyno or dentist or something, I didnt pay her, she just had me babysit in return so she could do the same.
So, I think if shes working and needs you to babysit, I would accept it, but if she just really needs your help I wouldnt take the money, just maybe a favor in return.

I would not accept it, but maybe you guys could switch services... That way you both get time to do things on your own while the other watches the kids.. That's more than fair.. My friends and I do that all the time (but the kids play together)

Once in a while - don't accept payment - just ask her to return the favor at some point.

If it's something regular and ongoing - sure, why not.

I'd tell her that if she wants to send $5 for her childs lunch, great... but nothing more than that. Let her know you accept swapping babysitting duties as payment ;)

Take the money.

She wants to pay you, she wants to formalize this somehow, and I think, if you don't accept the money it will be a harder subject to approach later. And you, too, should be prepared to reciprocate if you need her to watch your son.

I'd also make things just a little more formal by asking her for some emergency contact numbers, (like her spouse/partner's cell or work... in other words, in case she gets stuck and doesn't show up to get her kid... it happens.) Agree upon start and end times.

The only other arrangement that might suffice, if you were both in agreement, is to set up a trade, with each of you keeping track of hours on your calendars. I've done this with two different families and this has worked well. When everyone is keeping track of hours and alternating care days, etc. it seemed to work for us. (And we never let one family or another accrue more time than seemed reasonable. About four hours or so, so no one got stuck doing a full day of care.)

I wouldn't take the money. I watched my friends infant(with my infant) and it was a crazy day and I refused the money she offered. Tell her you may need her to watch your son so you can trade. If you are going to be watching her kid say 2-3 days a week while she works then take the money. This is hard because she wants to pay you she wants to bless you with some money and you want to bless her with a free babysitter. If you think it will offend her then accept and don't let her overpay you because you are friends.

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You've gotten lots of great suggestions.
My concern with saying "don't take the money" is that it may make your friend feel uncomfortable. I would suggest that you graciously decline, stating that you'd be happy to do it as a favor to a friend and you'll be sure to call on her when you need help. If she insists, graciously accept and know that it made her feel good to do it. When you need a favor, you can offer to pay her or tell her you'll reciprocate for free next time she needs you.

I just had a neighbor watch my cat for the weekend and she said we didn't need to pay her, suggesting we could reciprocate sometime. I felt I needed to pay her and got her a small gift certificate as a token of my appreciation. If she does end up needing me to cat sit for her, I wouldn't expect payment and would suggest trading services since I know we'll need her again. As the person needing the favor however, it was important to me to acknowledge her time and effort.

It'll all work out.
:-) J.

I never accepted money for babysitting because my friends always repaid the favor in kind. Just for a few hours on one day, I wouldn't take the money unless she wanted to give you a few dollars to treat the kids to something.
If she wants to set up something more regular, in which you'd be watching her child far more than she'd be watching yours, you could consider the payment option.
As a single mom, I couldn't have made it without friends who would watch my kids when I had to work when school was out, etc. They never accepted money from me. I had their kids every chance I got to make it up to them. It worked out quite nicely.
Trading childcare is a wonderful thing.

Just my opinion.

I lived in a neighborhood of young moms, first homes, hard working partents trying hard to make ends meet. None of us could afford sitters or barely anything else. So we made up tokens(that were like dollar bills) and the currency was equal to hours. 2 hr bills, 1 hr bills, 5 hr bills, overnighters, and we pd with them as tho it were cash. We each started with an equal bank no matter how many kids one had. then we booked eachother when we needed them and pd with the tokens. It worked perfectly! Everyone was happy with the arrangement and it didnt break the "bank".
If you want more info just let me know, good luck.
K.