Divorce Support Groups, Single Mom/parent Support Groups and Therapy

I don't know why, but men always seem to have a girl very quickly. Perhaps it is because girls aren't good at checking out the new guy well enough. So many of us think we can change them or ignore the warning signs. You have a huge opportunity to grow and learn how to pick a quality man that will be am amazing father figure too. jRead up on this. You don't want to be the silly little girl type that likes drama, wants a "bad boy," wants a man who reminds her of her father but the father left out something major in her life and she hopes it might be fixed with this guy. (all common things we do)

I found the perfect man for me on one of those internet introduction sites (PerfectMatch.com). Oh sure, it was 1.5 years before I say a great guy that was right up my alley, but you're younger and it won't take so long. Just be picky, don't agree to meet them if they don't post a picture, scrutinize their introduction letter for signs that they might just be looking to party. Don't bring him into your house until and unless you have met his family and friends, been to his home, and he is proven to be a quali.ty, safe guy that wouldn't think of taking advantage of you or speaking badly to your children. Those mama groups on line for your local area would be good. Be the bests person you can be so you can be worthy of a guy that is already arrived. Know how to parent well so that doesn't drive him away. Good luck! Don't rush into marriage so you won't have to face this again. You are at the wheel unless you give the wheel away.

Find the nearest www.divorcecare.com group in your area. Its free and they also have divorcecare for children.

First off HUGS...second off call your local hosp and ask for referals to support groups...I am a firm believe in asking for and seeking help. I did this yrs ago when I was 22 with two girls 15 months apart in age, no family, no support...it was hell...my ex was a jerk and it took yrs on my part to finally understand how much better off I was without him...he too was sleeping around and had brought the women into our home...Lean on your folks but do not allow them to take over your life...your in a spot now where that could be easy to allow...divorce is like death in a way and you will go thru lots of ups and downs, being sad, being mad, being beyond mad...missing him, hating him...but in the end....do this for me...never talk bad about him and always share with him what he wants to know about your children...seems like he might let you all go but if not any contact keep track of and always be the one that has her head held high and show him what he lost...you can do it...feel free to priv message me if you want I have friends in MI not sure how close they are to you but will find out...take care of yourself your little peanut your carrying and the other two need a strong mama.

I went thru the same thing. You are a woman and you can take care of yourself and kids...its what we do! Things will get better, you just can't see it now. Check out www.meetup.com, it's free and has local groups that get together. Also, start to document EVERYTHING (get a montly planner to use) and try to only communicate with him via email so you can keep records. MAKE him pay child support and DO NOT feel bad for him. And yes, he is seeing/talking to other women. You will get thru this and also get the kids into counceling. You will be happy again, it just takes time and in the mean time, take care of yourself and your kids. Good luck to you!

When I separated from my husband a year and a half ago I found counseling to be a great help. It was free through my health coverage but would have been worth it at any price. My therapist also ran a weekly "relationships" group which I found even more helpful than the one-on-one sessions. The therapist really helped me find confidence in my choices and the strength to move forward. If you find a support group, I'd recommend looking for one that has a therapist to moderate the group so it isn't just about a group venting session (which can also be helpful I'm sure but probably has less long term impact).

I hope this helps. Sorry you're going through this.

T.

Counseling should be a big help. If it isn't, try another counselor. You will get through this, even though it will be hard.

Hi S.,

I went through a divorce a while back, and it was horrible! I never went through any kind of counseling because I thought I couldn't afford it. I was so young, and I knew nothing! I had a 3 year old son, and I was scared out of my mind. My then-husband was having all kinds of affairs, and he made it no secret that he was moving on with lots of other women, which hurt me tremendously! The only kind of advice that I can offer you is to allow yourself to feel what you feel, whether it be jealousy, anger, whatever it is, just feel it, and then let it go. It is sooo much easier said than done, but this really helped me. And as far as trying to let go of your hubby, it's a moment-by-moment process, and it's hard as hell. But you can do it. Also, love those babies, and show them they can rely on you. Soon your heart will ache just a little less, and a little less, until one day you will realize that you're over the hump. And let me tell you, it's a good feeling! So keep your head up, and keep walking forward. You'll get there.

K.