Divorce Support Advice Needed

I think that you should talk to her and the friends and say just what you wrote up above in your question. You may want to consider that if he wrote all you guys off that he may be on a fact finding mission, to dig dirt up on her so he can take information to court. I would be suspicious of anyone who was a fairweather friend. And often times in Divorce, most people take sides. It is just the way it is. Most people have had a friendship with one of the people first and generally stick with that primary person, or the lines are cut along gender. If he is really being a jerk about the divorce then he may not be a friend that you would want to keep around anyway. Unfortuanately, I don't think that he is being honest. I would tell him that although you like him you don't like his behavior and that he may need to seek support somewhere else as you loyalty lies with the wife(er ex). You can only be so loyal to two people. And unfortunately it isn't him. Or you hubby may want to be his friend, but not the wife's. It is something the each person will have to reflect on and decide. But I would definately talk to the "gang" and be honest about where you fall in all this. And also talk to your freind and calrify your stance, and degree of support you are giving her. I am sure she is feeling insecure and scared at now losing friends.
Good luck,
L.

I agree with a lot of Laura's advice and points. It is difficult not to take sides, but it's not easy to take sides, because we usually get one side of the story. But I would beware, as Laura mentioned, of his intentions, especially with the kids involved, because he may be intending to take the info to court.

If he has a track record of being self-centered, chances are that he is not going to just "magically" change. If he really is a changed person, he will understand that it will take time to trust him and that you're trying to help her and the kids through this difficult time, and that your being friends with her is not a "bashing session" on him. But he doesn't need to know about anything you all talk about or do. If it's necessary to know, the lawyers will contact you. :) lol

Anyway, don't feel guilty for taking sides, if that's what your heart leads you to do. Let God's Spirit guide you. It may cause waves (with him or maybe even her), but that's not your concern. God's will is your concern. So, follow your what your heart already knows.

The way I see it, you're not taking sides - he kicked you off his team. I agree with Laura - I would be very suspect of his motives given his history.

S.

Biblically based, "Love does not seek its own interest" The bible encourages to draw away from this kind of people because they might be a danger to you. He might just need a reality check. If he keeps being supported by his friends that will just encourage him to be a meaner ____@____.com%%!e to her and the children. Like if a person is doing illegal drugs, if his friends keep hanging around him despite of that, he will keep doing it. But if his friends draw away from him, he will feel alone and want to stop because his friends have shown him that they will not be around him while he is doing something wrong. Sometimes being a good friend means not being a friend at all.

I agree with the person who suggested a group meeting to discuss the issue of the divorced couple and the relatioship without either being present. It seems that the husband is looking out for himself (unknown motive) and that he wants to do things that will cause the wife emotional problems. He hasn't realized that he wrote you all off and now is trying to crawl back to be accepted by the group as if nothing happened. Well, he can't have it both ways and will need to seek new friends outside the circle. Keep us posted. Good luck to her.