Is there a book out there I can recommend to my brother in law about divorce, custody, etc? His wife doesn't want to go through counseling, she wants out of the marriage. I imagine there is alot of info/resources out there for him to find out from others what works, what doesn't, rules to agree upon when kids are going back and forth, etc. It's only been a few months into this. When should he talk to a divorce attorney? She wants the divorce but wants him to file for it -- which he won't.
Just wanted to send a thank you to all who responded. Yes, there is a book entitled Divorce for Dummies. I've passed on to him all the comments that have been sent to me -- very much appreciated! He still has not consulted a divorce attorney, we're still working on him about this :< Someone recommended www.rejoiceministries.org website and it seems to be the favorite right now! He learned a lot from the Divorce for Dummies book, as well as one called 'What About the Children' (or something like that).
There is a book called Fathers Rights. I bought it for a friend who was going through a custody battle with his ex girlfriend. It is for fathers going through divorce and had a lot of useful information, emotionally and legally. I cannot remember the author, but I picked it up in the Parenting section and Books A Million.
Hi M.,
Sorry to hear about your brother. I don't know of any books off the top of my head, but there are some great articles on iVillage.com about divorce. As some of the others have already posted, I'd definitely suggest he talk to an attorney as soon as possible too, even just for advice on the matter. Even in the state of Florida, some judges will require the couple go through counseling. It just depends.
Hope this helps.
H.
Hi M., I don't know of a book but I will say that if she doesn't want to go to counseling, when the divorce is filed (assuming they live here in Florida), the court system will make them take a parenting class as part of the proceeding. In this proceeding they go over how not to fight in front of the kids and on the whole sharing of weekends and such. It's not much but its at least something to help him get through that portion of it. If they don't have a ton of assets, he can get a paralegal to file the papers, it's pretty reasonably priced, at least it was when I got divorced. Lastly, I don't blame him for not filing, she wants it, let her file. Hope this helps a little. If I come across anything in my travels I'll let you know what and where I found it.
About me:
38yrs of age, divorced mom of 2 17g, 14b
He needs to talk to a lawyer right away. If he waits he will be sorry. It is better that he gets legal council instead of reading a book. If she files and he hasn't gotten legal advice she could end up with full custody and really put the screws to him. Do him a big favor and tell him to get a lawyer now........His lawyer may even suggest that he files for custody before she gets the chance. If you really love him you will give him this advice. Have 2 brothers that got screwed in their divorce and 3 male friends that are sorry they didn't take my advice and get them a lawyer.
My husband and I started the divorce process, but worked things out. It is not always in your best interest to file if you do not want it. As long as she is allowing him the marital assets that he wants, and time with the kids I would not file. You can over time set a standard for the judge. i.e. if she moves out of the family home and he continues to pay the bills for a long period of time, the judge will say she abandoned the assets and give them to him. If he becomes the primary care giver to the children the judge will just fall in line with whast has become routine. Good Luck. Encourage him to go to counseling even if she won't, just to get all those feelings out.
Hi M.,
I am going through a divorce and I am doing it on my own. I found this website very helpfull for some questions I had. Have him check it out.
http://www.divorcesource.com/tables/table1.shtml
Also if he is to proceed with the divorce he could check this website too;
http://www.divorcewriter.com/Start_the_Process.asp?src=g_...
Most of the attorneys give a free consultation, that he should consider talk to one about it. Hope this helps...
God Bless
To be honest with you I think there is actually a book called "divorce for Dummies" ~ I think I saw one at one of my mom's garage sales and got a laugh out of it (the g-sales are work related and she gets a lot of donations for them). When I divorced my first husband (a jerk) I went to a lawyer right away and got the paper work ready but didn't file right away, I still needed to "get a grip" on the whole idea of being divorced at 24yrs old. After he harrassed me to see me, I had moved outta state, I got annoyed with him and called my mom and told her to start the divorce since I was out of state. We had nothing between us like a house or kids so it was a pretty easy procedure for me. Hope some of that helps. I've been divorced 10 years now, remarried to a WONDERFUL guy this time.
