R.P.
A.,
Okay, if I understand this correctly, you are trying to decide what to do with the ins payout should your entire family (children included) pass away. My husband and I have been through this several times, both before and after our son was born. Here's how it works for us; we both maintain seperate policies on ourselves, and the primary beneficiary on each is the guardian for our son. Should our son go with us, then my policy payout goes to my family and my husband's goes to his family. My son's policy currently doesn't have any one other than us listed, so I guess it would go to probate, but it's not a huge amount, so hopefully there won't be much fighting if something terrible happens.
Good Luck,
R.