5 Yr. Old with Hyperactivity Problem

Updated on May 28, 2008
R.W. asks from Johnstown, NY
26 answers

Hi ladies, this is the first post for me. Does anyone have a child with a hyperactivity problem? My daughter is the youngest in her kindergarden class(sept. birthday) and up until now the teacher has felt her problems are because of being immature. She has trouble sitting still and keep quiet during class. She learns well but everything is messy because she doesn't like to sit still to work. The teacher feels she will be left behind in first grade because of these problems. I am hoping to keep her back in kindergarden. I don't want her to have a bad experience two years in a row. Can I request this or is it up to the school to leave a child behind or push them ahead? I really do not want to put her on medication. I think its over perscribed, plus my little girl has a wonderful imagination and is so full of life. I'm afraid of what medication would do to her. Any advice will be very appreciated.

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M.D.

answers from New York on

I just started reading a great book called "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Allergies & Asthma" by Dr. Kenneth Bock. Its very easy to read w/ lots of info & I really recommend it. I borrowed mine from the library. This doctor treats children from the root cause, not just prescribing meds to cover up the disorder.

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R.L.

answers from New York on

Hi there,
I've heard about a lot of success with dietary changes. I just googled "food diet for hyperactive children" and came up with the following, right off the bat:
http://www.oneaddplace.com/adhd-diet.php

There is a nice and easy to read break down of foods to avoid, and foods to eat, and when in the day to eat them.

I hope that helps!!
R.

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K.P.

answers from Syracuse on

As a special ed teacher, I has the opportunity to work with all sorts of children. Including pleanty who were labeled with "ADHD."
Although your daughter does not have this label, the teacher can still implement techniques to utilize within the classroom setting (and even at home). For instance, if she has trouble sitting to do work, why not pull her chair from the table and let her work standing up? Allow her to do her work in chunks, use a reward system with both rewards and consequences...these are just a few examples.
We had parents request to have their child be held back. Quite honestly, it depends on the specific situation as to whether the request was honored. It should be a team decision, and you should be given the opportunity to voice your opinion. Playing devil's advocate, do you think that holding her back for a year will do the trick? She may be one of those children who just has a lot of energy whether it be first, second, third or fourth grade. Most importantly, is it effecting her learning and socialization at school? If so, then a retention may be appropriate.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance! Good luck! I've had a great deal of success with Reward Systems!!

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M.N.

answers from New York on

Hi there - I have three kids - two boys and one baby girl. My 4th grader has ADHD and my Kindergartener is also have some problems with being very active and not able to sit still. There is a big difference between a kid who has ADHD and a kid who just has a lot of energy and may be having trouble adjusting to the structure of school. I am more than happy to talk to you about your little girl and let you know about our experiences. We have learned quite a bit and I can help point you in the right direction re: the school stuff. What school district are you in?

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J.H.

answers from Rochester on

R.,
I think your concerns are valid and I agree with medication being overused. I think that you can choose to have her repeat Kindergarten, but I am not 100% on that. Talk to your school principal. Find out what classroom management techniques the teacher is using and look at the overall classroom experience for your child. How does she work with you at home? What is her learning style? It could be that in addition to her being young and adjusting to a classroom setting, the type of classroom is not the best fit for her. She may improve as she matures and is able to adapt. Did she have preschool experience? There are so many different factors that could contribute to this. Keep in mind, that when we were in Kindergarten, we spent most of our time playing and singing and listening to stories. Sitting still to do work is difficult for a 5 year old. Keep all of this in mind and do some research on your schools policy and observe her in the classroom. Hope this helps.

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R.C.

answers from New York on

I think it's a great idea to re-do kindergarden. So call the school and make the request and insist on it if you have to. Better to hold her back now then when she's in a higher grade.

I'm happy to hear you aren't interested in medicating her. GOOD FOR YOU.

Our world is turning our children into Zombies with medications and no one is sure what the long term effects are. Not all active children are ADhD and way to many are given that lable. Active children are very bright and probably get bored faster...they need more attention...especially in making sure they are safe.

What did our parents and grandparents do with their active children when they didn't have those medications to turn to....yet everyone survived.

A healthy diet (((avoiding soda, and sugar candy))) and lots of exercise, love and attention.....

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D.Z.

answers from Binghamton on

R.,

I am starting my two boys who have some of those tendencies as well on Omega 3's in the form of fish oil. A friend of mine had two children who she put on Omega 3's and she has seen a drastic improvement in their ability to sit still and concentrate to learn. You have be very careful about the kind of fish oil you buy because some can have mercury, which would cause more problems than you were fixing! I get mine from a company called Melaleuca. Theirs is very safe and affordable as well. My son takes it with his applesauce and it just slides down real easy.

Lots of moms on this site can tell you about Melaleuca, it is an awesome company and you would be very happy with what they have to offer. I would be happy to tell you more about it, but it doesn't really matter if you hear about it from me or another mom in this group, or even your neighbor that you know is a Melaleuca customer. The point is that you need to hear about it. They have two fish oil products...one called phytomega and the other called unforgettables. You could compare the ingredients in them to determine which one you wanted to use with your daughter. And of course you can discuss it with your doctor.

Give me a call if you want to know more...I do have a business with them and that is how I help to support our family, so it would help me out if you called me, but the same is true for the other moms in this group who are Melaleuca customers, so pick one of us, give us an hour of your time (over the phone or online) and then you can be the judge if it is something for you.

D. zu Hone
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S.C.

answers from New York on

Have her evaluated by an occupational therapist who can help you in the home as well as your childs school. She can give you home activities that can be carried over with positive reinforcement. In the school setting the OT can suggest to the teacher where your child can sit to avoid distraction, if needed to have her with s number of modifications in her environment in order to increase her participation. good luck

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L.P.

answers from New York on

Hi R.. My son is 5 1/2 and is very hyper at times. He gets excited very easily and loves to fool around. He's not in school yet, but I'm always nervous that he would be all crazy and labeled the class clown or something. We aren't in school yet, but have done some pre-school classes and it took him a LONG time to listen to the teacher and do what everyone else was doing.

Anyway, as far as the school route, you have a lot of great advice here. I wanted to second what one woman wrote about homeopathy...we take that kind of medicine and my kids respond so well to it. If you've never heard of it or whatever, it's worth checking out because it's natural and can work wonders. But I also wanted to say that I noticed at one point and it was very obvious and I felt bad actually...how much my son reacts to SUGAR!!!!!! I felt like a horrible mom when I realized that a lot of his acting up behavior was my own fault for letting him have too much sweet stuff. When I noticed it and cut back I saw a huge change in him. I have no idea what your diet or lifestyle is like, but it's worth a try. Some kids just really react to sugar and it's not that difficult to control...much better than being put on medication.

Anyway...best of luck to you. My kids are around the same age as yours...just boys. :) God bless.

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C.G.

answers from New York on

As an educator, there are a few things that I need to clarify for several of the ladies that have posted responses to R..

All schools and school districts are required by law to offer special services to students in need.

There is no such thing as a classroom for students with ADHD. There are no longer self contained classrooms for the "special kids". Today all students are included in the regular classroom. I am sure many of you have heard of the term inclusion classroom. Why would anyone want their child in a special classroom and isolated from others because of a disability or impairment? All teachers are trained to teach all learners regardless of having a special ed degree or not.

An ADHD diagnoses DOES NOT mean that a child is a special ed student. Some students with ADHD have other disabilities that qualify them for special ed services. If a student only has ADHD and needs accomodations, they would have a 504 plan which is accomodations and modifications for regular ed students with a physical impairment or a medical condition(for example, a child in a wheel chair).

As far as keeping students back, parents are certainly involved in the decision, but by law, it is ultimately the schools decision. A student would never be held back because of behavior or immaturity. The only reason a student would be retained is because they are performing well below the grade level expectations. Retention is at the discretion of the teachers and administrators.

Several people have assummed that Rachels child has ADHD. Maybe she is just an active little girl who is in need of some behavior modification. Only her pediatrician or other medical Dr. can diagnose ADHD, not the school. The school system determines if a students needs testing to qualify for special services and again, ADHD DOES NOT mean your child is a special ed student.

IDEA is a law that protects students with disabilities and requires the school system to be responsible for all students receiving a proper and appropriate education based on their individual needs.

Hi R.,

I am a first grade teacher. I wanted to address your questions about your child being retained in kindergarten. It is ultimately the decision of the school. If your daughter is doing well academically and has successfully mastered kindergarten academic expectations they will not keep her in kindergarten for another year based on immaturity or any kind of behavior issues. If the teacher is telling you that she will probably be retained in grade 1 it may be because she feels that the behavior issues will impact her learning next year and the result will be retention. Children are never left behind due to behavior issues, it is based only on academic progress. As far as medicating... this is obviously a personal decision for you to make and I agree that at times it is over prescribed, but if her behavior is such that she it is impacting her learning, which it sounds like it hasn't yet, you may consider it. It may be as simple as she needs some behavior modification which the school can certainly help you with. I just returned to work in January from my maternity and I had a child that had been in kindergarten twice and he was half way through grade 1 and still reading substatially below grade level well in part due to his behavior and inability to stay still and focused. Shortly after my return, his parents decided to try medication for him and he is now reading on grade level and doing much better in school academically and behaviorally. Many parents opt to only medicate their children during the school day so they can be more successful and in most cases it works. It is important to think about the ramifications for her to not acheive in school because of behavior that she may or may not be able to control. I would suggest talking to her teacher next year early in the year and if this behavior continues putting her on some kind of behavior plan to see if the behavior is such that she cannot control it. If she cannot, you may want to seriously consider medication. If she is choosing to make poor behavior choices for herself, that obviously needs to be addressed also. Either way, work with the school and as a team you can address her issues and the goal is obviously for your daughter to succeed.
I wanted to comment on what Lora said because there was some incorrect information. If your concern is ADHD, the school does not test for that. Her teacher can provide input as far as her school behavior and fill out a behavior ratings scale which is one tool your Dr will use in diagnosing. ADHD is a medical condition that has to be diagnosed my a medical doctor. The school can evaluate other issues such as LD and can certainly provide whatever support you need as far as tesing for a variety of reasons but the school cannot and will not diagnose ADHD. It is important to understand that IDEA is for students diagnosed with disabilities.
I hope this helps.

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L.H.

answers from Rochester on

I would ask that the school get her evaluated. It DOES NOT mean that she will be put on medication, but she may just need some behavior support. Even with kids who have adhd, even if they are on medication, they qualify for behavior support too (which imho should be tried first anyway).

Also with keeping her back,I can't remember the exact study, but basically if nothing changes (like she has the same teacher) kids will NOT do better the second time around. If she has a different teacher then maybe. I strongly suggest that you insist the school test her (it is their responsibility under IDEA and they have to pay for it if you do not want, or can't afford, to do it through your private insurance) and get behavioral support. If she really has a problem keeping her back for a year won't help it, but support will

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B.C.

answers from Rochester on

Hi, R. -- kuddos to you for WANTING to hold your child instead of insisting she forge through!!!
I have 5 children, all with Fall birthdays (August - November) so I was faced with this with each one....
My first is graduating this June and when he went for his Kindergarten screening, he tested ready for K -- the district offered at Pre-K, but would not let him start there, even after I requested. Well, he went only because I had rearranged our day care situation for my second son and had no choice but to send him. So, I took my 4-year-old son and sent him through those big doors at that school. He did OK, but not wonderful.
The next year we switched school districts and I started him back in Kindergarten -- he THRIVED and excelled (reading by the end of the year).
Since that experience, all of my children (including 2 daughters) have not gone "early", but start when they are 5 and turn 6 in Kindergarten. Even my August boy was 6 by the time he went -- what a difference a year makes!!!
My thoughts were at the other end of the spectrum also, thinking they would be better suited for college at 18 rather than 17 and so far that is where we're at....
I know most schools do not resist a parent's request to repeat. Good luck with your pursuit, B.

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K.M.

answers from New York on

It sounds like she may have ADD. Also food may be affecting. I know some girl who has ADD and she is so messed up with her diet. I have 4 kids and I made big effort to refrain kids from junk food (candy, sweet stuff, fast food, soda, chips) Even though they don't have hyperactivity problem, I noticed my kids get pretty hyper after one candy.
I think it is your choice whether you want to keep your daughter in kinder or let her move on. Often teacher won't say anything unless it's really necessary. If it needs to be done, earlier is better. If you want to avoid medication, there is a natural alternative like homeopathy. I have a friend who got some of those remedy for her son who has ADD.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi R.,

My question is, how is your daughter doing academically in school? Has she mastered the kindergarten curriculum and is she prepared to handle the work of first grade?

If you've gotten to the point where you don't think the hyperactivity is something related to immaturity, and that by this age she should have outgrown it, you are where I was when my daughter was finishing kindergarten. We had her tested (independently of school) for ADHD, etc. and was diagnosed as mild ADHD. We have used only behavior modification, some dietary mods, she has never been on medication and has not been formally labelled in school but her teachers have known.

If your child has a condition such as ADHD, keeping her back will not help her. In a year, she will not outgrow it, and each year will be a struggle for her - next year will not be better. Retaining these children is not the answer. Implementing strategies to help them to work better can help. If you wish to proceed with testing, you can do it through the school district by contacting the psychologist or social worker in your daughter's school, or though an independent neurologist or psych in your community

Good luck!

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K.F.

answers from New York on

I went through this with my 10 year old a few years ago. Turns out he does not have ADHD. However, he is dyslexic and has convergence insufficiency, which means his eyes don't focus completely although he has 20/20 vision.

The diagnosis for ADHD is totally subjective. You are right not to medicate.

Take her to your medical doctor, then an occupational therapist, and an opthomologist. It sounds like something is up but don't jump down the ADHD path.

I've got three kids and I've yet to have a perfect one. Everybody needs a little extra help sometimes.

Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from New York on

My son is Sept born to and one of the youngest in his class. He was diagnosed with ADHD in Sept. I had him tested a year prior to entering kindergarten and he was deemed "normal" and then problems were occuring and I had him tested by the hospital and he was diagnosed with ADHD. He is on medication (small dose); however, I changed his diet as well. I am against medication all together but it was something I had to do. I have found that gluten free products work best also a healthy diet of fruits and veggies and less process foods works best. Try that first and see if it works. It may take a few months before you see a change and I think now is the best time because summer is coming. I also saw that if I got my son involved in extra curricular activities it helped. Lots of luck :)

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G.L.

answers from New York on

I have a child who had the same problem in kindergarten! My first question to you is, does she drink alot of milk? If so, as an experiment, cut it out of her diet and substitute with OJ with calcium. That was a HUGE issue with my daughter. Second, it sounds like in a classroom setting where there's alot of action going on (even birthday parties!) she is being over stimulated wherein her brain can "hold" all the sights and sounds while trying to sit still and concentrate. My son was like that and I found a doctor who showed us exercises to help his brain become stronger. I did not want to put him on med.'s and luckily this doctor does not do the med. route! I wanted my son to be aware of his body and know when he is being over stimulated so he can control it by taking a break or do his exercises. The doctor's name is Dr. William Weiss in Middletown and there is also an excellent Occupational Therapy Center in Wallingford...Center for Pediatric Therapy.

I hope my experiences were helpful for you!!

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N.B.

answers from New York on

I read the other responses you received, sounds like you got some good advice. Also consider that your child may not be responding well to conventional education, there are many other educational options out there or what is known as alternative education (and I don't mean special education, it does not sound like your child has special needs, but special talents!) ie; charter schools, private schools that don't subscribe to the sometimes monotonous and routinized schedules and rules in standard public education. Whatever you do, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT fall into the "my child needs medication syndrome". You would be doing a GREAT disservice to your child if you fall into that trap, and VERY LIKELY cause her harm down the road), there are NO QUICK FIXES, you need to educate yourself, do some reading, look up alternative education on the internet and see what you find in your area. Talk to a developmental psychologist; who if any good will help you better understand the issues your child may be dealing with and the attention she may need and things you can do to help her. She will be fine, she just needs YOU to educate yourself to better raise and support her. Also consider, are there things you could be doing that are contributing to her "hyperactivity", how do you work with her at home, how do you teach her skills, is she eating healthy, ie; not eating a lot of processed, sugary and fast foods? Again a developmental psychologist can analyze these issues for you and hopefully give you better insight.
Best Wishes,
NB

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi R.
Things will work out, and eventually you will know what is going on. As a 58 yo SAHM of 4, including twin girls, and the oldest of them being 36, I can safely say that I am old enough to be your mom, so what does your mom say. Any imput there? Our younger son was hyperactive. MD offered us meds when he was 19mos. We refused, and looked to alternative medicine. I was glad we did. Allergies are one cause we found, and the chripractor helped too. Don't discount the fact that she may need more exercise, or stimulation either. Our son played every sport, and still I would send him out to run around the house. He is now a lawyer, with major allergy to food dyes, and TBHQ. Removal of them made a huge difference in writing. If you can get your hands on "Is this Your Child" by Doris Rapp, it is very thorough. As you can see I am not much of a med. person. Nutrition is a major factor.
As for holding her in K., would she know the difference? My boys would have, but the twins, no way. I often wish I held them back, and finally we homeschooled. Don't discount this either. Homeschooling gives you an opportunity to teach your child differently. Yup, they don't have to sit in the seat all day. The real reason is that they graduated from High school at 17. They found it discouraging that no one would hire them because they were not 18. Since they all wanted college, they needed that summer job. It is something to think about..
God bless you.
If you want to visit further email: ____@____.com
K.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Dear R.,

Normaly the school points out that your child would benefit fom another year of kinder. However no matter who suggests it is the parents decision. You ask, they do it. I'm doing the same for my 5 year old. He is repeating Kinder next year. Best of luck and good mommy not pushing her along if you feel she is not ready. A. B

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A.K.

answers from Albany on

R.,
My daughter is also very energetic. i've found two things recently that offered good info for us. One is a book called Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. The other is a two cd set called Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne the web site is www.thechildtoday.com. It's about simplifying our lives. These things have really saved us. Good luck.

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J.H.

answers from New York on

Hi R.: Your situation sounds similar to my son's at 5, he is now 22 and doing well. The first approach to remedy this situation is for you to become more informed about the cause. A neurologist is helpful in terms of diagnosing the problem but not always as good at solving it.

My son was diagnosed with ADD with mild hyperactivity. The neurologist immediately prescribed a range of medication, including Ritalin, which we now know is been reevaluated due to its extreme effects on young children. I said no, and sought a homeopathic path, which was relatively simple, a change of diet. We immediately stopped our child from having any foods with chocolate in it, white sugar, sodas and whole milk. This calmed him down a lot.

Catching up to grade level can be achieved by using extra support such as an after school academic program. Let the school know you are doing this and emphasize the positive response other shave achieved and you expect your child to.

Good Luck

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S.G.

answers from Rochester on

Have you asked your daughter about her behavior in class? I acted differently in class when I was younger and it was because I was bored and wasn't stimulated. I don't know if this is the case, but you might want to ask her what's up.

If she is in fact doing this because she needs to grow a bit more, feel free to hold her back. I went to school with several September birthday kids and some had a hard time...but with extra help were able to push through.

On the other hand, you could try medication on a trial basis....see how she does. I don't have any experience with ADHD....but if she has it, it might be a good idea to try it. Yes, kids can be overmedicated, but the medication was created with good reason. If she's really having a problem with concentration and she's not just acting out against people, perhaps the medication would help calm her down and let her channel her creativity without being all over the place.

Good luck,

S.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

HI! I have a 7 yo that is ADHD and is NOT medicated! I am afraid of the side effects of the meds and have found that controlling what she eats helps a lot! White flower, white sugar and red dye # 40 (in a lot including toothpaste) are among her "triggers". Right now she is having a "melt down" and it is partially due to being tired. part attitude and part candy! We went to a parade today and she got candy and now I am paying for it but so is she.

Anyway there are nutritionists out there that could be of help and you can also find "diets" that help. Some of the diets are huge radical things and some are simple exchanges of foods. For example, rather than using regular white pasta we use whole wheat pasta. It tastes just as good and is better for us all and doesn't cause problems for my daughter. Also a simple change for snacks is the white cheddar Cheese Its for the regular, white american cheese rather than yellow, brown rice rather than white. These are a few easy changes we have made and it seems stupid but it works.
Good Luck! A.

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J.J.

answers from New York on

hi R.;

first of all i want to applaud you for your approach to your daughter's challenges. i think it is great that you are looking for alternatives and not just running to excessive diagnoses or potentially dangerous, and as you pointed out, overprescribed medication. also, i think it's wonderful that you're not making this about you, but helping your daughter to be placed in an accepting, appropriate learning circumstance.

from what i hear on the playground a lot of teachers these days will just try to pigeon hole any child who isn't totally submissive as problematic or having an illness; the teachers just don't want to work hard, and that's too bad. i'm already worried about this for my son who is 3 and very much like your daughter, energetic and not much of a sitter. i remember when i was in school as a very little kid and there were always kids who weren't good sitters or listeners or whatever, and it was just part of the constellation of children in a public school classroom; it's not perfect, that's why it's free. and that's real life, too; we're all different and we're all, hopefully, learning to cope together in society.

i would say you should call the school and as for a short conversation with an administrator about the policies on repeating a grade. if it's going to present a problem, perhaps you could have a discussion with your pediatrician about getting her involved; maybe she needs to write a professional letter to the school asserting that her evaluation of this child is that she would benefit from an extra year of socializing for developmental purposes before going on to greater academic challenges in the first grade, where more will be expected. you might need to get your daughter evaluated by a developmental specialist as well, but this doesn't need to be a damning, confining or 'diagnoses' oriented event. this can just be to facilitate finding the best place for your little girl for school next year.

what i think is really great is that you are advocating for your child and you are viewing yourself as the primary decision maker, and that's key; hold on to that. you're the MOTHER and you know best!

good luck,
J.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

HI my name is D.... it may not be that your daughter needs meds, it may be that she needs a different type of classroom setting, where there is more one on one attention... it definitely sounds like ADHD, my Godson has it and he now lives in Georgia where he is in a proper setting.

I am not saying that you need to move, but you really need to research all the schools in your area and find out which one has either special ed, or is a school that has separate classes for children with ADHD.

The first thing you really need to do is get your daughter evaluated and do it before September so you can maybe have this resolved before than so you and your daughter do not have a repeat of this first year. It will be a turn off for her even at this age.

Part of the problem is that teachers are not taught in college how to deal with such children unless they have a degree in special ed....sorry to label, but it is what it is. I have a 23 yr old sister who has ADHD and unfortunately, she has to be on meds, she would have never survived college. I am happy to say that she graduated from Rutgers Univ.

Be strong, don't be embarrassed to say that your daughter nees help, be happy that you caught it early enought to get her the help she needs so she does not go through elementary school being labeled as just a BAD KID......Good luck....D.

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